Steal Your Pain
by Eirenne
Summary: Physical scars can heal with time. It's the emotional scars that take longer to heal if they ever completely do. Our past has a way of intruding on our future if we allow it to. Long term relationships are not an option for Bella or Edward. What happens when fate has other plans? AH/Canon couples/Mature Subject Matter/Language
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

**Steal Your Pain**

Prologue

The door knob clicked and the door pulled open. She lay there as quietly as she could; knowing all too well that it would not matter. The footsteps got closer to the twin bed that was up against the far corner of the room. His large body loomed over the slight frame that was now holding her breath and waiting for it to be over. The room was always dark because he always came to her in the cloak of darkness. He smelled of stale cigarettes and beer. It took every ounce of strength she had to hold still, when all she wanted was to run as fast as her little legs could take her.

The bed covers were slowly pulled away from her small body. Large hands began their assault, touching and feeling her form as he pushed her night gown up.

"You're such a pretty girl my princess, such a good girl."

She started to squirm when his hands began stroking her private parts. He hushed her by telling her that this was his way of expressing his love for her. She never made a sound, her body became like stone while he moved his hands up and down and back up, while panting into her neck. Her eyes closed tight as she willed her mind to take her far away, losing herself in anything than what was happening at that very moment. Sometimes it worked but more often nothing could give her escape from the feel of his hands as he felt her breasts and more.

As it was most nights once he had finished he always put her night gown back in place and pulled the bed covers over her again. Once he had left, little Isabella curled herself into a ball and cried silent tears.

She was only eight years old.

**A/N: Is anyone interested in taking a chance on this story? Let me know by leaving your thoughts. This is my first attempt at a lengthy piece of fanfiction, I welcome your comments but be gentle…****:) And remember this is fiction and it's intent is to be just that. **


	2. Chapter 1

******Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

**Chapter 1 **

**Bella's POV**

The alarm clock went off at 5:15 normal for a weekday morning. I reached over blindly to hit the snooze button as I wanted another ten minutes. Although why I bothered was beyond me. It would not make a difference. My morning wakeup call would be arriving shortly. Why do I even set the alarm clock? My three cats were all the alarm I would need. Rudy, Shackleton (or Shack as he is so lovingly referred to) and Dexter always made sure I was up. As far as they were concerned my only function was to feed them and keep their litter boxes clean. It was the same thing every morning regardless if I went to work or not. Each one of those darlings would make their presence known by walking over my stomach or back or whatever part of my body was acceptable as a landing surface.

Wiping the sleep from my eyes I rolled out of bed, my hair a complete cluster fuck like it was every morning. As much as I loved the fact that my hair was long and thick the truth was it was annoying at times. Each time I thought about cutting it off I quickly dismissed the thought.

"_Bella, seriously I think it would be so much easier just to cut this all off. You know a cute bob?" _

"_Cute bob? Uh...yeah like Victoria Beckham? Well I am not ready to make drastic changes yet. But thanks Audra, you know I value your opinion." _

I recalled the last conversation with Audra at her salon. She wanted to do some crazy shit to my hair because of the thickness and the texture. But the truth of the matter I didn't want to draw any more attention to myself than was necessary. I was content to look plain and just ordinary. I was nothing special. Just another brown haired brown eyed girl. Yet Audra would take every opportunity she could to convince me that a few layers or more recently the bob would just make my face pop. It would more importantly showcase my eyes. As she said 'the eyes are the windows to the soul' I am not sure where she quoted that from but regardless I wasn't eager to let anyone into my soul let alone inside my head or heart for that matter. There wasn't much there for anyone to really give a crap about. I never would tell Audra that. I mean we had a pretty good relationship since she had been doing my hair for several years now. But I kept it light and easy going, nothing too serious and certainly nothing too deep.

I was twenty four year's old and although I had been on my own since I left foster care when I turned eighteen I was unsure as to where my life is going. I went through the motions as I got through life the best way I knew how. _Wow, this is getting too deep this early in the morning._ I made my way into the bathroom to relieve my bladder and following me were my three male companions. The meowing of my three loves washed over me like a sweet symphony which always made me smile. No matter how bad my day was. I could always count on these guys to bring me back to a good place.

"You know guys why is it that I can never pee in peace or do anything else in this bathroom without you following me in? Yes, yes I will feed you."

Shack wrapped himself around my legs weaving in out of them as he did every morning, as if I could forget that my loves were hungry.

I quickly washed my hands then walked into the kitchen as three furry figures rushed past me. Every morning and night it was like this. Hell it was like this whenever I came into the kitchen. It was as if these cats had been starved, I mean really by the looks of them you can see how well fed they were. Rudy especially, who was the pudgy one out of the three of them.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the cat food, quickly pulling their bowls from the cabinet to the right of the kitchen sink. The clanging and clamoring of the bowls hitting one another raised the excitement to another level as Dexter stretched and kneaded my legs, which by the way hurt as my legs were bare because I wore only a t-shirt to bed last night. _Ouch! _I can't be mad at him however. He is such a beautiful tuxedo cat and the baby. I recently adopted him from the local shelter which I think Shack and Rudy question my decision since he is a terror.

After a nice long shower and blow drying my hair I dressed in a pair of black slacks and a red sweater with a square cut neck. My fashion sense consisted of mainly jeans, t-shirts several sweatshirts. I went for comfort rather than style. I owned maybe two skirts and one dress. I was not one to show off my legs, not that there was anything to show off. I was thin but certainly was not what you would call voluptuous. I was far from having any real curves and I was short! At five feet two inches I was vertically challenged. One would think because of this I would opt for plenty of heels. Not me. Besides the fact that I would mostly kill myself as I was a complete klutz I enjoyed flats and more importantly my Nikes.

After quickly eating a bowl of cereal I washed my bowl and spoon, wiped them dry and storing them away. I hated leaving dirty dishes. I didn't consider myself anal retentive but there were a few things I had to have in order. One was the kitchen. I made another stop in the bathroom to brush my teeth and gave myself a once over in the mirror. The reflection was the same as every day. With my backpack over my shoulder I made my way down the stairs out the front door calling out my love to my babies.

Mondays were always the hardest for me. As a customer service representative for Wolf Ski and Snowboard Mondays were exceptionally busy starting in September and going through the end of January. The ski shops were busy over the weekends and if it was a good season, with lots of snow, even better. I had only been with the company for a little over three years. I lucked out in 2009 during the second half of my senior year at Peninsula College when I participated in an internship program which placed me at Wolf's. My degree concentrated in business management. I started out in a customer service admin position. The position focused mainly on order entry and filing.

During the preseason selling period order entry was a large focus on the department along with mailing order confirmations to our customers. I would like to say that orders were always entered correctly but I would be lying. If it wasn't our error then it was the sales representative who fucked up and believe it or not customers did as well. I was not perfect but I was a hard worker, a team player, and at the end of my internship I was offered a permanent position.

The commute to Wolf's was less than fifteen minutes from Forks in a town called Beaver. It was a nice ride in, surrounded by plush trees and flora. With the amount of rain we received in these parts we had an abundance of greenery. This morning for some reason I was caught behind some slow poke. I was running a little late as I couldn't find the pair of black flats and had to end up wearing a pair of black clogs. Not that I didn't like the clogs but I wanted to wear those damn flats today. I was agitated, more so than usual for a Monday and was blaring my horn at the moron in front of me to pick up the pace. Starting to feel my face get flushed I blew past him ready to flip him the bird when I gazed quickly and realized he was an older man.

_I can be such an ass!_

So I would be a few minutes late. It's not the end of the world. I was quickly reminded how a reckless act could have devastating results. It was a hard lesson learned. One I lived with every single day of my life. My mother and father were killed in a car accident when I was only five years old. Memories of them are vague at best but what I can remember I kept locked safely inside my heart.

**_~SyP~_**

Today was going to be hectic. My boss Frederick Smith, the Director of Operations for Wolf's had been working on the relocation project. A new fifty thousand square foot building was going to be built in Beaver only a couple miles away. Our customer service department had grown to the point we had to reconfigure the layout in order to make room for additional cubicles for the additional employees hired. We had to rent off site warehousing space as well which had been a nightmare. You can only imagine what a cluster fuck that was. So after several meetings some of which I had been involved in as Fred seems to see me as not only the Customer Service Team Leader, (yeah that's right I had been promoted), but also a good sounding board for the plans for the new building. I actually liked that he leaned on me as much as he did. It gave me a greater sense of purpose in my life.

Angela on the other hand didn't. Angela Weber was my best friend who I had known since I moved back to Forks. In her opinion I was on a one way street to burn out city. I was consumed by my job which didn't free me up for extracurricular activities. Angela wanted nothing more than for me to find a nice guy and settle down. She was in a relationship with a really great guy named Ben Cheney. I was happy for her. But me having the same thing, I didn't see that happening.

My thrifty Ford Focus pulled into the parking lot at 8:10. Crap I was ten minutes late, not something I did on a regular basis. And although the phones didn't open up until 8:30 I was always here by 8:00. It was one of my quirks. I liked to get to work early. It gave me a chance to settle in, enjoy my coffee and maybe have a quick chat with some of my co-workers before the day got into full swing. Especially today since E & E Designs was scheduled to meet with Fred and the rest of the relocation project team. They were the firm that won the bid to design and construct our new corporate headquarters. A highly reputable firm based in Port Angeles. The company was founded by two brothers. I believe Fred told me that the name of the company stood for the brothers' names. The only thing I remember for sure was that the last name was Cullen. I knew the family name had clout around these parts. Believe it or not they were from Forks as well however I didn't know them since I kept to myself. I wasn't sure who was attending the meeting from the firm, all I knew was that Fred asked me to be there.

**_~SyP~_**

I walked into the reception and Sarah was there to greet me as she is every morning.

"Good Morning Bella!" She had the sweetest smile.

"Good Morning Sarah. How was your weekend?"

"It was lovely; Harry and I took our grandsons for the weekend. Needless to say we were exhausted by Sunday afternoon." Sarah laughed.

"I know they keep you on your toes but I also know how much you love every minute of it."

Sarah flashed that bright smile of hers as I made my way to my department. One thing I was anxious about regarding the new building was where my new space would be. According to the plans customer service would be facing the front of the building surrounded by wall to ceiling windows. The land where the new building would be situated was a wooded lot. I can't remember how many acres other than I know there will be lots of trees and we would be abutting wetlands so no further construction would be allowed. That made me happy that although we would be disturbing nature no one else would. I guess you could say I had a reverence for nature and the wildlife. That was something I had inherited from my mother.

"Bella, so how was the weekend?" As soon as I heard that voice the hair on the back of my neck stood at attention.

God, I can't stand her but I turned around and plastered a big smile as I greeted office gossip and more Jessica Stanley. She had the knack in always finding a way to know the latest shit that was going on. I suppose partly why was the fact she had screwed half the field force as well as a few managers in house. She disgusted me but she was also Fred's assistant so I had no choice but to play nice. I don't know if Fred had ever gone there and to be honest I didn't want to know. The last thing I needed was to get dragged into soap opera bull shit with my boss playing the leading man. Ugh, just the thought was enough to make me want to throw up. Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in Fred romantically (oh God now that's a visual I need to purge from my mind), or any man to be honest. But I liked Fred. He had been very good to me. He pushed me to spread my wings and venture into unchartered territories regarding my career here at Wolf's. But I couldn't think of him and Jessica in a sexual way. It's was too disturbing. Let me just say I wouldn't be surprised if Fred had banged her. After all she had been banged by so many one more wouldn't make a difference.

"Jessica, hey how's it going?"

Jessica took her left hand and smoothed it over her dark blond hair flipping it over her shoulder. I didn't like her but damn, she did have beautiful hair. It was the only nice compliment I could give her. Everything else about her just made her plain ugly but I played the game.

"Oh pretty well for a Monday. You know weekends go by so quickly. I never know if I am coming or going." Her voice laced with saccharine.

I had to refrain from choking back laughter as I so desperately wanted to say something smart assed but I kept my mouth shut and kept those thoughts to myself.

_Oh I bet you were not the only one coming or…Bella careful._

"Yeah, I know the feeling. It seems like we just left here." The urge to roll my eyes was strong but I behaved.

I wanted to get the pleasantries out of the way so I could get to my desk and see what my day was going to look like.

I popped my head into Fred's office which was on my way to my cubicle and wished him a good morning. "Hey Bella, we have the Cullen's at 10 AM Jessica has got the east wing conference room set up for the meeting."

"Yes, 10:00 AM, I have it marked on my calendar."

Not only did I have it marked on my calendar but I had set a reminder on my iPhone (which I loved by the way) in the event I got sidetracked which in this business and particularly in this office happened all the time. I announced my good morning greetings as I entered my department.

The next hour or so passed quickly as I checked my email, as well as the faxes for any orders that may have come through over the weekend. The phones were a little quiet for a Monday morning. It was the middle of September and it had been a bit warmer than normal. I took advantage of the quiet to organize the crap that was piling high on my desk. If I was not up to my eyeballs in paper work then it was with reps in my department that needed help or direction for one thing or another. Fred kept joking that he was going to put a ticket counter outside my cubicle since I always had a line forming. Yeah, Fred could have a sense of humor.

I checked my phone it was 9:55 AM, it was time to get my butt over to the conference room.

"Eric, I will be in a meeting starting at 10, not sure how long it will last but if you need me I will be in the east wing conference room my cell will be on."

"Okay, we got it covered here." Eric replied in his usual happy go lucky self. I loved this guy. He had a witty sense of humor and always seemed to know how to lighten a tense mood, which did happen on more than one occasion.

I walked down the corridor and headed to the conference room. I could already hear Jessica giggling. I prayed to whatever divinity that would listen to my plea that I would be able to tolerate listening to her go on and on about whatever the hell it was she was talking about today. Have you ever met someone that just by looking at that person could put your over the edge? Well Jessica definitely was that person. She was like nails on a chalkboard. And God help you if you ever try to compete for some guy's attention, it was more than a game to her it was serious business and she didn't take to losing well at all. Thank God I didn't give a rat's ass who she'd banged, who she was banging or who she wanted to bang in the future.

"I heard that Lauren is dating Tyler."

I rolled my eyes as I walked past Jessica to take my seat across from Fred who was already sitting at the table with coffee in hand. Fred and coffee always a pair, I had lost count on how many cups he drank during the course of the day. Me? Well I made my normal stop at the Starbucks before coming into work for an iced coffee. Depending on how I felt determined what flavor I wanted. This morning it was French Vanilla.

The phone rang and Jessica answered. "Thank you Sarah, I will be right out."

Jessica hung up and told us that the Cullen's had arrived and walked out to greet them. Here we go. If these guys were remotely good looking she would be foaming at the mouth in no time flat. The thought alone was making me cringe.

All too quickly the sound of giggling was back. Oh dear God you can't be serious. _Bella, just breathe and let it roll off your back._

The door opened and Jessica filed back in followed by two men. The first Cullen that entered was tall and husky; he had quite a body, very brawn. Man he was big. His hair was brown and kept short with the slightest wave to it. His eyes were the bluest I had ever seen along with the cutest dimples. He looked like a big teddy bear. He was dressed in dark brown slacks with a crisp white shirt and brown jacket, no tie. His brother was just as tall if not slightly taller. He wasn't as massive in bulk, more lean but definitely in great shape too. His hair was longer; it seemed to have a mind of its own as it was a bit of a mess and it was brown with copper highlights. He wore black slacks that molded his legs like a second skin and a pale yellow dress shirt covered by a black jacket.

"Fred Smith may I introduce Emmett and Edward Cullen of E & E Designs." Jessica announced in her sweetest voice. And the hair on the back of my neck was not only standing at attention but ready to go overboard.

Fred extended his hand and shook Emmett's the tall brawny Cullen and then shook Edward's.

Before the two Cullen brothers took a seat Fred made the remaining introductions to all in the room.

"Last but not least, this is Isabella Swan. She is part of my Customer Service Team and will have an input on how we want the new department designed in the new building." I loved Fred. He always made me feel like I was an integral part of the process no matter what it was.

I shook Emmett's hand who gave me a big smile along with a wicked wink. His hand was warm and large. I gave him a nod and a "pleased to meet you" greeting.

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Swan." Emmett's voice was booming but pleasant.

I looked at Edward and my breath caught in my throat. He was beautiful. His eyes captured me immediately. They were the deepest shade of green which reminded me of two emeralds that sparkled and shined. The top two buttons of the shirt were open that revealed more of his neck and I could see some chest hair peeking through. Damn me for always having a critical eye and such attention to detail. I didn't know why but the sight of that open neck made me a little weak in the knees and suddenly I was feeling warm and moist in places that had no business feeling this way. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and I wondered if he could sense it.

_Shit, what was up with that?_

Before he even reached out his hand to me I could feel it. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing, not in the bad way when Jessica's voice went through me. This was something more, something physical and raw. I couldn't really put a name to it. I had never felt anything like this before. I was nervous that my cheeks were burning up as I know I was blushing.

_What the hell?_

"Ms. Swan, it's a pleasure to me you." His voice was something out of a movie. So smooth almost melodic in tone. When his hand touched mine I almost jumped, as if I had been shocked or had felt the effects of static electricity. It ran throughout my body. Was it just me or did he feel it too? Crap, this was so alien to me, I had never experienced anything like this and frankly it bothered me that I could be so affected by this man I had only just met.

I cleared my throat and responded praying to God my voice wouldn't crack and uttered simply…

"Likewise…"

**A/N: I would love to hear your thoughts. So please give me your feedback. The fic will be told from alternating POVs, Edward's will be up next week. I have several chapters already written so I hope to update weekly. **

**Much love to Jlynn and DennaRose who are my betas. Not only have they been my second and third pair of eyes but they have also been an incredible sounding board in helping to shape this story. Your girls rock my world! Love you!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 2

**Edward's POV**

God, my head was pounding. Fuck, how many shots of Jack did I have last night? I lost count after six. I remember hanging out with Jasper at Mickey's. He decided he wanted a night with the guys, that didn't mean he didn't adore my sister. He did. He fucking worshipped the ground she walked on. But with the wedding in just a few months he needed to just let off some steam. I loved my sister. Don't get me wrong. But she was one fucking live wire and when she had her sights set on something nothing got in her way of getting whatever the fuck it was.

The wedding plans were stressing Jasper out. Alice wanted him involved in just about every facet of the process. Why I don't know. Shit my mother and sister-in-law, Rosalie, were already part of the gruesome threesome and I didn't mean that in a bad way. My mother Esme, was the most genuine, caring and loving woman I have ever known. And Rosalie, well she was married to my older brother Emmett. She was a blonde knockout but a bitch on wheels at times. Being three months pregnant made her all the more of a smart ass. In fact, I felt at times she was even worse. It was almost as if she blamed everyone else for the fact it had taken her and Emmett nearly four years to conceive. Whatever, the deed was finally done and my hope was as soon as the kid was born her disposition would change for the better. Underneath it all I did love her, she had one hell of a sense of humor, family meant a lot to her and she kept Emmett in line like nobody's business.

I was warm and could feel my dick getting hard. Shit, morning wood. I felt the lightest touch on my dick and was awakened with a jolt.

"Mmm….baby is that for me." A sultry voice whispered as her hand continued to stroke me.

Fuck me, it was all coming back to me. Tanya was draped across me, one hand on my dick the other fondling my chest, her fingers grazing the hair there.

_I am an asshole. _

I was so fucked up last night that, when she walked over to me my dick had already made up its mind. She was all over me. She was always all over me. At one time maybe I thought it was hot and got off on how she would always blow smoke up my ass on what stud I was. How I knew how to fuck her every way possible and make her come in a matter of minutes. But it wasn't long before I got tired of her clinginess and her constant texting or calling my cell to see where I was at. I had never promised her anything. It was light and fun at the beginning. She got what she wanted from me and I got what I wanted. She had no problem getting on her knees and she loved the hard pounding I would give her.

I started sliding out of bed when her arm snaked around my waist. "Tanya, I need to get going. I have a meeting in Beaver at 10. I need to get home get showered and ready."

"Edward…you can shower here. No need to run home." She trailed kisses along my neck to my chest before her mouth latched on to my left nipple.

_Shower here and what, wear the same fucking clothes? _

"Sorry, it's not happening. This meeting is pretty important and I can't be late. Emmett will kick my ass if I'm late."

I got out of bed. I grabbed my boxers, jeans and shirt that were scattered on the bedroom floor. Emmett had cautioned me last night he would have my balls if I was late for the meeting at Wolf's. No way was I getting into it with Emmett, not over Tanya. I slipped my shoes on and found my jacket in the living room on the couch and keys lying on the kitchen table.

"Edward…" She was standing in the living room in all her fucking glory.

_You have got to be kidding me, my dick twitched. _

I gave her a quick look over my shoulder as I reached for the door handle.

"Call me later baby, maybe we can have dinner tonight." She started walking towards me and I knew I had to get the hell out of here.

"Dinner tonight…, sorry Mondays are a bitch at the office. I won't get out until late."

With that I turned the handle and walked out the door.

I had put off telling her that this wasn't going anywhere. Not that I had ever told Tanya there was any future between us. She had dropped hints with Alice a few times. It's why I knew that she felt this was developing into something more. And it didn't help that I did invite her to the Labor Day barbecue my parents held every year.

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

My parents started the tradition when we were living in Chicago. The move to Washington, Forks specifically was made for a few reasons. One, my dad was tired of the pressures of living in the big city, and both Emmett and I decided to attend the University of Washington in Seattle. Emmett sought out a degree in Civil Engineering, I opted one in Architecture. Both of us had dreamed one day we would start our own company and build things.

Mom, Dad and Alice made the official move to Forks when I was in my sophomore year and Emmett in his junior.

Forks was a small town with maybe around 3500 people. It was rural and a far cry from the Windy City.

My father was the Chief of Surgery at University of Chicago Medical Center. He had worked his balls off to land this prestigious position. After ten years of missing out on so many family dinners, functions and his kids' events he decided it was time for a change.

Forks Community Hospital was not even close to the size of UCMC but it kept my father busy considering he had been appointed Chief of Surgery in his second year. He may have changed locations but the job was still demanding, however he made a point of balancing his personal life and that of being a doctor. I really admired him. I hoped one day to be half the man he was. The way he loved my mother was a beautiful thing. Or I should say step mother. Hell, Esme was more of a mother to me than my own blood had been and my father adored her. I didn't know if that kind of love was in the cards for me or if I was even capable of that depth of emotion. I know my father gave love another try after having his heart broken. At the present moment I was content to date casually and yeah, that sometimes meant hooking up for the night. I wasn't proud of some of the shit I had done but I never intentionally led anyone on. I was getting the feeling though Tanya wasn't going to see it this way.

_**~SyP~**_

I made it to my place in record time. I knew enough to watch my speed in the Cayenne but I couldn't help but push it some. I loved speed and being behind the wheel of a vehicle that could bring it gave me such a rush. It was nearly as good as sex, nearly. I clicked my automatic garage remote that was housed on the console as I approached my driveway. It was 8:00 AM. I breathed a bit easier knowing that I wouldn't need to rush. Beaver was only fifteen minutes away.

After graduating from UW I moved back temporarily with my parents in Forks. My grandparents had left Emmett, Alice and I a hefty trust fund. It paid for college, the start up in E & E Designs and then some. I still had quite a bit of it left thanks to Dad steering me in the right direction in investing. With that money I was able to buy this house on the outskirts of Forks about a mile and half from where my parents lived. It was far enough but not too far that I couldn't drop by whenever I felt like it, which was often. I loved my family; there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for any of them. I knew I could count on them in a heartbeat.

I clicked the switch to shut the garage door and made my way into the house. I needed to get into the shower and get the stench of Tanya scrubbed off every inch of my body. She practically drowned herself in whatever the fuck that fragrance was she wore. Not to mention the makeup she caked on. The girl was attractive. Blonde, petite and had a set of tits on her. Yet once you got past the outside there wasn't really much on the inside. She was shallow and self-absorbed. Why I ever got caught tangled up with her I will never understand.

_Yeah you do, you are one horny son of a bitch._

The hot shower wiped away what remained of Tanya's hold on me and rejuvenated me. I also rubbed one out since I didn't take care of business with Tanya. I was feeling ten times better than when I woke up. A stop at Starbuck's on my way to Wolf's for caffeine was a definite must this morning.

My cell phone rang and I reached for it. "Hey Emm what's shaking man?"

"Bro, you gonna meet me on time at Wolf's?" Emmett asked and I could just see his face with that smirk and gleam in his eye.

"Yeah, why the fuck wouldn't I?" What the fuck, did I give him enough reason for him to think I would be late?

"Just checking man, Jasper told me you left with Tanya last night. He told me she had her claws dug in tight, so I figured you wouldn't be able to tear yourself away from her."

He was fucking laughing as he said those last few words. _Prick!_

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I was in a decent mood until this jackass had to start talking shit.

"Edward, come on. The bitch wants you and not just for a good fuck. Keep it wrapped bro, I would hate to see you get trapped by her." He sounded more concerned than trying to be an asshole.

"Trust me Emm, I have been careful. That's the last fucking thing I need. Not that if it happened I would marry her ass. Are you kidding me? She's been nothing but a pain in my crack for the last few months. I'm not going to see her again. It was fun in the beginning but now she's just an annoyance." I tasted the bitterness in my mouth when I thought about how many times I went down on that shit.

"Okay bro. Just words of advice, when you tell her don't do it over the phone. You owe her that much even if she is a bitch." He laughed.

"Whatever…so you want me to meet you at Wolf's?"

"Yup, see you there around ten of."

"See you then."

_**~SyP~**_

I pulled into the parking lot at Wolf's closer to quarter of ten. It gave me a few minutes to enjoy my coffee and listen to some music. A classical instrumental was the choice this morning. You could say my taste in music was eclectic. It ranged from Debussy to Johnny Cash. Well you know what they say; variety is the spice of life. And I loved spice.

I was a twenty seven year old guy who took what life gave him and kicked it up a notch. This had on more than one occasion got me into some trouble. Like with the whole Tanya bullshit. I know Emmett was right. I needed to tell her to her face that we were through. She was a bitch and did have that air of entitlement but she did at least deserve to be told in person. I could already see how it would play out. She was going to try and charm her way with using her mouth and hands on me to change my mind. I might be a horny bastard but this whole relationship if you even wanted to call it that had run its course.

Relationships! I can't say that I ever really had one that wasn't solely based on physical gratification. It was one of the reasons why I didn't think I had it in me to find that forever kind of love my parents had. I was too busy wanting to get off, instead of nurturing a relationship that could lead somewhere. My mother would tell me over and over it was simply I had yet to meet the right girl. I had yet to meet a girl who could keep my attention that went beyond getting my dick wet. Emmett liked to refer to me as a whoremonger. Maybe I was. If I ever brought a girl back to my place I either fucked her in the living room or the spare bedroom or any other room but my bedroom. Never, I mean never in my bedroom. What did that say?

I had dated enough women who were only interested in the Cullen name and all that came with it. A lesson learned. One my father learned the hard way. I wasn't going to find myself in the same position as he had. I don't know if you wanted to call it just a bad string of luck when it came to women. Or simply all I wanted was sex without it being complex and complicated. What I did know is, I had yet to meet anyone that made me think twice about wanting the forever after, kids and all.

What the fuck, either Emmett was rubbing off on me or Alice's impending nuptials was playing with my head. Thinking about long term relationships, kids? Me, fuck that.

I heard Emmett's big ass Jeep pull in beside me. He was right on time, what a shocker. I sipped the last few drops of my coffee and left the cup inside my vehicle. I opened the door and got out to greet my brother.

"Edward, you fucker, what's up?" Emmett smacked me hard on the back. It was his signature greeting.

"Emmett, you douche." I replied shoving his shoulder back.

We gave each other shit but the bottom line was we loved one another and had each other's backs. We were close and growing up we rough housed enough to make my mother nervous that one of us would end up in the ER. No one fucked with my family. Emmett felt the same way. And God help any fucker who messed with Alice. As much as her perpetual sunny disposition could annoy the snot out of us she was the baby, nobody was ever going to hurt her. Not if Emmett or I had anything to say about it. Jasper found out the first time he and Alice had a fight and she came home in tears. I think he nearly shit his pants when we showed up at his house to "talk" to him.

I followed Emmett as he approached the main door to Wolf's. The building was over twenty year's old, nothing really special just your basic office building. Windows rimmed the perimeter of the building from what I could see.

"Good Morning. May I help you?"

The older woman behind the reception desk greeted us with a smile.

"Good Morning. We are here to see Fred Smith" Emmett flashed that smile and those baby blues. I rolled my eyes.

"And who may I tell him is here." She asked sweetly.

"I am Emmett Cullen; this is my brother Edward of E & E Designs." Emmett quickly answered.

"One moment please." Sarah, as we later learned was her name asked us to take a seat while we waited to be shown in.

The reception area was bright, but typical waiting area. There was couple of leather couches and tables with a variety of ski and snowboarding magazines on display. It had been a while since I had skied. I had been on the ski team when I was in college. Since graduating and starting up the business my days on the slopes were a distant memory.

"Good Morning! I'm Jessica Stanley, Mr. Smith's personal assistant."

Emmett and I stood up quickly as we introduced ourselves. She was a perky with dark blonde hair and seemed to have a killer rack**.**

_Of course you would notice her tits first…_

We followed "Jessica" as she requested we refer to her, back to a conference room. I had my eyes on her ass, I couldn't help it. The girl strutted her stuff to make a point. I kept reminding myself I was here for business but my dick had other ideas.

Jessica opened the door to the conference room and ushered us in. She introduced us to Fred Smith. After shaking his hand he proceeded to introduce the rest of staff gathered in the room.

"Last but not least, this is Isabella Swan. She is part of my Customer Service Team and will have an input on how we want the department designed in the new building."

She stood up as she took a hold of Emmett's hand and greeted him. I felt something pull inside of me. She was petite with long brown hair and big brown eyes. Her smile was radiant not only illuminating her small round face but clearly registering in those eyes. She had the sweetest looking lips and I could only imagine how they would taste. And a fucking button nose! _Am I insane? _I couldn't help but feel as if my mouth was open. I had never been affected by a girl like this before and fuck I had not even laid a hand on her. She was dressed simply in a pair of black pants and red sweater that revealed the slight swell of her breasts.

_Breasts, when was the last time I referred to a woman's tits as breasts? _

Nestled just above those "breasts" was a silver chain with some kind of medal hanging from it. I realized I was most likely ogling her chest so I forced myself to gaze at her face.

"Ms. Swan, it's a pleasure to me you." As soon as she placed her hand in mine I felt the jolt. It had to be static electricity. At least that's what I told myself. But as her hand lingered in mine this odd feeling charged through my entire body. If I was a woman I would sworn I was having a fucking hot flash. Fuck, can men have hot flashes? I felt beads of perspiration begin to dot my forehead. Did she feel this too? Because I could sense that she was nervous. It was as if she was caught in whatever the fuck this was.

She opened her mouth and simply uttered "Likewise."

Her voice was soft and somewhat faint. I had to almost bend closer to hear her. I didn't want to break the connection because as soon as I did let go of her hand I knew I would feel the sense of loss. It was raw and so intense it made my heart ache.

_What The Fuck._

**A/N: So we meet Edward for the first time. What are your thoughts? There will be a slow build but I think it's important to understand Bella and Edward. I hope it's not too slow. At any rate I appreciate you all who have read this fic so far even if you have not left any comments. But please share your thoughts...I have 10 chapters already written. I also want to point out that future chapters are a bit longer, I figure they will average between 3500 - 5000 words.  
**

**A big thank you to Jlynn and DennaRose for their dedication to being my betas. Their guidance has been tremendous.**

**Thank you for reading...**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 3

**Bella's POV**

As hard as I tried I couldn't keep myself from bouncing my knee up and down. I hoped that no one would notice that I was on edge and did my best to keep from drawing attention to myself. I maintained my sense of calm although inside every nerve ending was screaming. How could a man that I had just met wreak havoc over every inch of my body, inside and out? What troubled me more were not just the effects physically but what I was feeling emotionally. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. During the course of the meeting I listened but offered very little in discussion. For starters, I was not leading this project and was only here at the request of my boss. More importantly, I was consumed by Edward's melodious voice as he explained in great depth what the process would entail as they moved forward with breaking ground.

"So Fred, the way I see it, we could get the foundation laid down before we begin to encounter any bad weather. I figure we can start the build by mid-October." Edward's fluid tenor coursed over me like a soulful stream. You would have thought he was reciting Shakespeare instead of discussing the plans that were laid out on the conference table.

_This can't be good._

"Edward, so in your estimation if things progress as planned are we still targeting to be in the new building by March 1st? Fred asked as he sipped another mouthful of coffee.

"I don't see why not, unless of course we encounter some setbacks with weather or material. But don't worry. Emmett and I have been involved in similar situations with the buildup occurring in the last quarter of the year." Edward responded as he glanced over at me.

I felt my breath hitch. Crap, I didn't just make that sound did I? I felt my cheeks blush when he caught my eyes. _Think quick Bella._

"Fred, would you excuse me for a moment?" I pushed my chair back and stood up just as both Edward and Emmett did the same thing.

_God, you can't be serious?_

I couldn't remember the last time I had been shown this level of respect. It was at that moment that I wanted to believe that I did deserve it. But I reminded myself that they were only being polite. If they really knew me they would have thought differently.

"Miss Swan, are you alright?" Emmett asked as I made my way to the door.

"Oh, yes. I think I have had too much coffee this morning. Excuse me for a moment." I replied quickly.

_What the hell was that? _Did I actually say that in front of not only my co-workers and boss but in front of Emmett and Edward Cullen? I didn't know what was happening to me. I had been involved in meetings before. I mean I met with our customers frequently. I was always well balanced. It's not to say that at times I wouldn't get nervous around others, especially men. But I always conducted myself professionally. I attended the SIA convention in Las Vegas the last two years and even had to get up in front of the entire sales force and give a small presentation. And yet here in this meeting I found myself all in knots, my stomach doing flip flops as if it was home to an Olympic gymnastics competition.

I walked quickly to the ladies room and the first thing I had to do was see my reflection in the mirror. Crap, my cheeks were as red as if they had been sunburned. The way his hand had felt in mine, it was as if I had been scorched by the sun itself. The surge of energy that cursed through my body singed me inside and out. Did he feel it too? No, he couldn't. Why would he even give me a second glance? Not with Jessica Stanley there. God, she was eye fucking him from the moment she sat down. I could have sworn she adjusted her blouse in a way to accent her cleavage. Yeah, she had quite the set of boobs. It made me sick. It's not that I wanted him. I mean I couldn't. My life was fine without the complication of a man. I would have been a liar if I didn't admit that once upon a time I did want the things that Angela wanted me to have. The type of relationship she had with Ben. I didn't see that in my future, no matter how hard Angela pushed me. And yet for some ridiculous reason I found myself getting angry. _Why?_

I decided I should at least pee since that was why I left the conference room in the first place well, that and my embarrassing heavy breathing. How could Edward's glance in my direction have such an impact on me? I shook my head to clear my thoughts, not wanting his image in my mind in here, of all places. I lined the seat with one of those paper covers and undid my belt before slipping everything down. _Crap_! My favorite panties were stained with blood. Could this day get any worse? Never set your calendar according to your menstrual cycle. Well, mine at least. Always unpredictable and flowing like a river. Did I mention I have a problem with blood? Yeah, a paper cut could turn my stomach to the point where I would nearly pass out. After Angela's insistent nagging, I had made an appointment with her OB/GYN which I was not at _all_ excited about. But seeing my ruined panties made me less inclined to cancel. At the very least they could put me on the pill which would hopefully help keep things under control. I hated the idea of having a complete stranger examine me so intimately but something had to be done. Thank God Angela's doctor was a woman. It was going to be difficult enough to go through with this, Angela knowing me so well knew a male doctor would never be an option.

I had lingered long enough in the bathroom. Before Fred sent Jessica to check on me I decided it was time to get back to the meeting. I did take a moment and splashed cold water on my face and around my neck. I took another glance in the mirror and decided I looked as well as I could under the circumstances. It's not as if I wore tons of makeup, or that I had a real clue how to wear makeup. The extent of my cosmetic flair was a bit of mascara, some blush and maybe a touch of eye shadow if I felt like it. One thing I always did wear was lip gloss. Pale pink and strawberry flavored. It was the one essential I couldn't live without.

I walked back to the conference room. I opened the door to make my way back to my seat as I rounded the table my foot caught Jessica's chair and I stumbled. In a matter of what seemed like seconds Edward was up and grabbed my arm before my ass hit the floor. _Oh God! _Grace and poise were words that didn't exist in the Bella Swan Dictionary. I don't think I could have been anymore embarrassed. And then there was the feel of his hand as he held me up that made my body tingle. My pulse throbbed violently and I thought I was going to faint.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen." It was all I could trust myself to say without suddenly getting a case of diarrhea of the mouth. The blush that I had so quickly removed by splashing the cold water on my face had returned and with a vengeance. Edward Cullen up close and personal was beyond beautiful. I don't know what type of cologne he wore but it was all male and it complimented the man. _Maybe I should have stuck with the ballet lessons! _ "Are you alright Miss Swan?" He asked me with a concerned look upon on his face.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. I should have been paying more attention. Thank you again." I could only imagine what I looked like at this moment. Not to mention Edward as well as everyone in the room. As hard as I tried to not draw attention it never failed, my lack of coordination always came back to bite me in the ass.

"You're welcome, and please call me Edward." His eyes captivated me. It was as if those green eyes seared straight through to my soul.

I couldn't wait to sit my butt down before anything else happened. Jessica shot me a look that was something between annoyance and pure hatred. _Are you kidding me? _ Could I peg this chick or what? She in her own subtle way was staking a claim on Edward. He had not given any indication that he was remotely interested in her. But then again he's a guy right? There was no way he couldn't see that she was interested. For all I knew he was too and he would bang her as soon as he got the chance.

"We will have the site prepped beginning the end of this week." Emmett said as he jotted down a few notes.

"Once the site is prepped then the next step will be getting the foundation down?" Fred asked.

I wanted to look at Edward again. What was it that attracted me to him? Okay he's gorgeous, no that wasn't right. He was beautiful. I didn't make a habit of calling men beautiful. Actually, I didn't make a habit of men period. Edward was like something you would find in a magazine. He was definitely model material. He had a profile that I swear begged my fingers to trace and know it as well as my own name. I was careful to not get caught staring at him. Not only Edward, but I definitely didn't want Jessica catching me. God she was so obvious with her flipping her hair over her shoulder and licking her lips. It was as if Edward was a meal and she couldn't wait to take a bite. She totally disgusted me.

"Yes, we will then begin laying down the concrete for the foundation." Emmett replied and brought me back to the present.

I was like a moth to a flame when Edward opened his mouth. I was just hoping that mine wasn't open catching flies.

"So to recap we are on target to prep the site by the end of the week. Once that has been completed we will then move forward with the laying of the foundation." I couldn't help but be drawn to his fingers which were now ruffling that hair even further. _God to be his fingers right now._

I heard a buzzing sound and immediately looked down at my cell but it wasn't coming from mine. I lifted my eyes up scanning the room and noticed that it was Edward's. He glanced at the display and his face suddenly looked tense and irritated. As quickly as he had checked his phone he flipped it face down on the conference table. I wondered who it was that had called and obviously upset him.

After a few more discussions on the time table and setting a next date to meet we were finished for today. Edward and Emmett spent a few moments talking to Fred as they shook hands. I started to make my way out of the conference room only to be stopped by Emmett.

"Miss Swan, it was a really nice to meet you." He winked at me. I had only just met him for what maybe an hour but I sensed that Emmett had a way about making you feel comfortable.

"Thank you, it was good to meet you too." I offered my hand and Emmett shook it.

"You got quite a grip there Ms. Swan." Emmett replied as he flashed that dimpled smile.

"Please call me Bella." I nodded in response.

Edward was hovering behind Emmett. I felt him, he had not even touched me but it was as if his hands were on my body. The warmth was flowing through me again like a raging river. It had to be hormonal. That's what it was. After all my period had started right?

_Sure, what else could it be?_

Edward made his way around his brother and the next thing I knew he was standing in front of me. I felt my breath leave my body. My heart was beating so fast that I thought for sure it was going to explode out of my chest.

"It was a real pleasure meeting your Miss Swan." His eyes bore into mine.

"It's Bella, and it was nice to meet you too, Edward." There I had said his name. _Edward_

He smiled at me. I guess he liked the fact that I did remember to call him by his first name.

His hand extended towards mine and all of sudden I felt like everything was happening in slow motion. I reached my hand out to his and he took it gently. It didn't feel like a casual handshake in greeting. This felt much more personal. Again the electrical current sped through my body leaving every nerve ending turned over. Could I blame that on my hormones? I wanted to. I mean it was the only thing that made any sense. Because the fact that this man that I had just met could have such an overpowering effect on me was mind boggling.

"I hope we will have another opportunity to meet again." His hand was still encased in mine. Slowly he released it and started to make his way out of the conference room when is cell phone buzzed again.

"What?" The way he answered and in the tone he used he was pissed.

He walked a few feet away as he continued his call. I couldn't make out what he was saying but it was clear who ever had called him was getting an earful.

"Bella, isn't that Edward Cullen hot?" Jessica freaking Stanley, the last person on the face of the planet I wanted to talk to at the moment.

"He's handsome." I replied. I didn't, nor wanted to get into any conversation with her regarding Edward Cullen. No way did I want to hear her say how she was going to get her hands on him. Seriously just the thought made me want to empty the contents of my stomach all over Jessica's Manolo Blahnik's. No doubt a gift from one of the guys she banged.

"Handsome? God Bella the man is like sex on legs! I bet he knows what he is doing in the bedroom." Jessica was practically foaming at the mouth.

Of course if Edward needed some tips when it came to sex Jessica could certainly give him a few lessons. If I was Edward, I would be more concerned about picking up something more along the lines of an STD. Ugh! Just the thought of the two of them together really pissed me off. I didn't even know him and he brought all these feelings to the surface. And what scared me was that I knew I would most likely seem him again. Fred made it perfectly clear I was to be a part of this project. I knew that would mean more meetings and most likely traveling to the new site as the building progressed. _God help me._

_**~SyP~**_

I was exhausted when I got home. My three babies were waiting for me at the door as they did every night I got home. Of course they loved me but it had more to do with the fact that their tummies needed to be fed. After I fed them I decided to crash on the couch in the living room before I made myself dinner.

_So Far away, so far away…_

I heard Nickelback's Far Away playing which indicated that my cell phone was ringing. I loved that song. I wasn't sure what it was about that it but it struck something deep inside of me. I dug my phone out of my bag and noticed it was Angela.

"Hey Ang, what's up?"

"Hi Bella. How was your day?"

"I just got home and my ass is dragging."

"Long day? Or a rough day or both?" Angela giggled on the other end of the phone.

"You could say both. We had the meeting with E & E Designs who have been hired to construct the new building." I replied as I attempted to stifle a yawn.

"Oh, now that sounds exciting." I could see Angela's eyes rolling through the phone.

"It was a little boring except for the fact that one of the guys was incredibly gorgeous." I replied.

"Wait a minute. Did you just say you found a guy gorgeous?" Angela sounded incredulous.

"Ha-ha, don't be such a smart ass." It was definitely out of character for me. Angela was my best friend and she knew everything about me. So commenting on the appearance of a guy was definitely unique.

"Bella, you are serious?" She asked again in shock.

"Yes Angela, I am serious. It was the strangest thing. I don't know how to explain it other than I felt some kind of connection. When we shook hands I felt something like a spark. That's weird right?" I wanted Angela to tell me that I was either imaging it or that it was just some kind of anomaly.

"When you mean spark what exactly are you saying?" Apparently I had roused Angela's interest.

"Well for example when we shook hands I felt as if I was shocked by some electrical current. It ran all through my body." Just listening to myself I sounded crazy, I was wondering what the hell Angela thought.

"Wow, that's so cool." She sounded so excited.

"Cool? It was far from cool. Angela I have never felt anything like this before. "

"Of course you haven't. You never date. Sounds like this guy and you have some chemistry."

"Ang, I hardly think a couple of handshakes which resulted in a physical reaction would constitute chemistry." _But what the hell did I know._

"Okay, then what would you call it Bella?" I hated how she could turn things around and make me dig deeper.

"That's just it. I don't know what to call it. To make things worse, I nearly fell on my ass and if it wasn't for Edward, who helped me, I would have."

"Oh Edward is it?" Angela chuckled.

"Look he asked me to call him Edward."

"Back up what happened when he helped you from falling on your ass?" She was so into this conversation. Maybe I should have just kept my big mouth shut.

"I had gone to the ladies room. When I came back from I tripped on Jessica's chair. I was about to take a tumble in the most unladylike fashion when Edward was by my side in a flash. I was embarrassed to the say the least. And I could feel my face blush red and again the heat of his touch just ravaged my entire body. Do you think it could be hormonal? I mean I did start my period today." I was waiting for Angela to give some credence that of course that's what it was.

"Bella, I know that your period can wreak havoc on your body. I will say that it is hormonal. But not in the way you think. I believe you really connected with this guy. You physically connected. I have read about this stuff. And before you say that I have read it in a smut novel, shut the hell up." Angela started to laugh.

"Whatever Angela, it's not like I even want to entertain the idea of anything happening with him." I replied rolling my eyes this time.

"I know you are not going to want to hear this. But Bella you really need to talk to someone about your intimacy issues. Never mind whatever it is that you felt with this guy. You seriously have to address what you have been through. You know you are not alone in this. There have been plenty…" I just cut her off before she could go any further.

"Angela, stop. We have been through this before with a back hoe. No. End of story." With that Angela said she was heading out to dinner with Ben and ended the call.

I felt rotten once she hung up. I knew that she meant well. She always meant well. But no matter how many times she tried, I wasn't going to bear my soul to some stranger. My past was best kept in the past. I had for the most part kept it hidden deep within the recesses of my mind. It would still rear its ugly head and cause me troubled dreams, nightmares even. In the end it didn't matter. It was my punishment. After all, what had happened was my fault.

**A/N: I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter. Real life always has a way of interfering with well laid out plans. At any rate here you go. I've not heard much from anyone so I don't know if you like this, if you hate it..should I bother? LOL Feedback is like gold...:)**

**Big thank you to Jlyn and DennaRose, their encouragement and advice has made all the difference. Love you girls...xo**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made; only fulfilling a creative whim.**

**Chapter 4**

**Edward's POV**

She smelled of strawberries, the breeze off the ocean and pure bliss. _Now where the fuck did that come from? _ That sounded like some shit you would read in a romance novel.

When Isabella excused herself to obviously use the restroom her scent overwhelmed me. And in a fucking good way. Christ it should be bottled up sold. Put Chanel right out of business. Not like Tanya's choice of perfume. That shit was heavy, overpowering with a mixture between floral and musk. It was enough to make me nearly gag. Even if I didn't already think she was shallow, whatever that fragrance she obviously bathed in would've been reason enough to just end it. Isabella was like a breath of fresh air. Literally. I actually breathed her in as she walked by, doing my best to hide it. I certainly didn't need Emmett getting all over my shit and lecturing me about the "no fucking the client" rule.

"Mr. Cullen would you like more coffee." Jessica asked.

"Which Mr. Cullen were you referring to?" Emmett quipped quickly.

I was still in my Isabella zone waiting for her to come back from the ladies room so I could inhale her intoxicating scent again. I completely missed whatever the fuck this Jessica chick was blathering about. But I knew what her game was. She had been giving me the hard court press as soon as she introduced herself. I knew her type all too well. No thank you. I was getting ready to unload Tanya. There was no way in hell I was going to take up with some other skank. _Yeah, I called her a skank. _It didn't take a rocket scientist to see what her shit was all about.

"My apologies, I meant both of you." Jessica stuttered.

Emmett smirked as he glanced at me then winked. He could be such a dick. But I loved the asshole. I could count on him to lift my dismal moods I sometimes found myself in and he definitely kept me grounded. Isn't that the role of a big brother? I lost count how many times he told me I was being an asshole. He was usually right.

I was wondering what was keeping Isabella. Did she fucking fall into the john or something? Not that I was anxious for her to return. _Yeah right. Fuck._

As soon as I finished that thought she opened the door and made her way back to her seat. Just as she rounded the table she must have caught her foot or something because she started to fall. I didn't even think about it but was out of my seat in a flash and grabbed her arm before she fell to the floor. I was stunned again when my hand connected with her upper arm. I felt that unique feeling of warmth as it rocked my body. This close to her, I could really appreciate that distinctive blend that was all Isabella. God she was beautiful. Being in such close proximity to her was not only mesmerizing but fuck if she didn't make me hard. _Are you serious? _Thank Christ I was wearing briefs instead of boxers today, which I hoped would mask the boner I was sporting. At that moment I prayed to any deity that would listen. Images of Mrs. Clearwater, my 9th grade history teacher naked came to mind, anything to alleviate my present condition. _Shit_!

"Thank you Mr. Cullen." Isabella's eyes locked with mine as I helped to steady her. Her cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink. _Was she blushing? Fuck that was hot!_

"Are you alright Miss Swan?"

She had not actually fallen and I hoped that I wasn't too rough when I had grabbed her arm. For some reason the thought that I could have bruised her left me feeling angry. Her skin was flawless, so soft and smooth. For a moment I closed my eyes and imagined running my hands all over body. Her breasts were not large but enough to fill my hands. Being this close to her I was completely overtaken by her sweet smell. It awakened something deep inside of me and at the same time made me feel uneasy. Shit, this was not me. Never had a woman put me at such a disadvantage.

_Was this meeting over yet?_

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. I should have been paying more attention. Thank you again."

She was like a fucking doll, porcelain doll, so petite and innocent. Well she looked the part anyway. I mean for all I know that could be the farthest thing from the truth. But the way her cheeks flushed just gave me that feeling. But then again she probably was so God damn embarrassed nearly falling on her ass, add the fact that a complete stranger averted further humiliation.

"You're welcome and please call me Edward." _Please call me Edward? What the…_

Actually there wasn't anything wrong asking her to call me by given name. I mean, shit, it's not like I was asking her to suck me off. And where the hell was I going with this train of thought? _Dude, this chick is fucking with your head big time._ Those brown eyes fascinated me. They were large and reminded me of chocolate. All of sudden I had a craving for a big fucking Hershey bar.

Isabella slowly sat down to avoid another mishap. She was just adorable. That heart shaped face. I noticed that she bit her bottom lip as she got comfortable in her seat. I wondered if that was just a nervous habit and at that moment I wanted to be the one to bite it.

_Was I still under the influence of good Mr. Daniels?_

What other explanation could there be. I have met countless chicks. I… had my share of "sowing my wild oats" as my mother had told me on one or more occasion. This was the first time since I lost my virginity where I was nervous around some girl. I found myself in unchartered territories. I was a cocky son of bitch and yet I had never felt unsure of myself as I did at this moment.

"We will have the site prepped beginning the end of this week." Emmett said as he interrupted my present state of mind. _Thank God._

"Once the site is prepped then the next step will be getting the foundation down?" Fred asked.

As affected as I was by Isabella I had a feeling she was as well. At least I think she was. I caught her fleetingly glance at me, as if she were afraid to get caught. I felt myself smile. I don't know why but I found that amusing. Instead of sitting in a business meeting you would have thought I was in study hall in high school. That's right; she made me feel like a fucking teenager.

Emmett brought me back to reality when he answered Fred's question. "Yes, we will then get the foundation laid down."

I was obviously not listening. I needed to get myself under control. I was conducting business for Christ's sake not trying to pick up some chick at a bar.

As I ran my fingers through my hair I knew I needed to get myself back into the purpose of why I was here today. "Are there any other issues we need to address?" I asked.

My phone started vibrating. Who was texting me?

"Hey baby, I miss u. Call me. xo"

_Fucking Tanya Denali_.

I flipped the phone over on the conference table. I felt my face flush and not because of thoughts of Isabella Swan. Tayna was definitely high maintenance. And as much as I didn't want to see her tonight I was going to. I needed to end this, even more so now. It's not that I was going to ask Isabella out. I was pretty sure that she felt the spark but I couldn't assume. I needed to explore this further. But even before I met her I was done with Tanya. There was no need to wait this out. Emmett was right. Do it, do it soon and do it in person.

After firming up the date for our next meeting and what the time table looked like we were done. I stood up waiting for Emmett to finish shaking Fred's hand so I could do the same. I told him we were very excited to begin construction. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett standing by Isabella.

"Miss Swan, it was a really nice to meet you." The fucker winked at her. He was certainly a charmer. He had to be. His wife was a hard ass and he seemed to have put some spell on her.

"Thank you, it was good to meet you too." Isabella extended her hand out to Emmett who took it continuing to blind her with his smile and dimples. Thank fuck he was married; otherwise I would be in a pissing contest with my own brother.

"You got quite a grip there Ms. Swan." Oh really Emmett? What was his game? He was one giant flirt. Keep going Emmett. I am sure Rosalie; pregnant Rosalie would love to hear all about this.

"Please, call me Bella." She gave Emmett a shy smile. Damn she was cute. I want that smile. I want her to smile at me like that.

Now that Emmett was out of the way it was my turn. I moved to stand in front of her and looked her squarely in the eyes.

"It was a real pleasure meeting your Miss Swan." I felt it again this alien force of heat and intensity that enveloped me completely. And I had not even touched her yet.

"It's Bella, and it was nice to meet you too, Edward."

I never thought my name could sound sexy until Bella Swan spoke it. One simple name and I was turning into a pile of goo. Gooey fucking chocolate. _Was this normal?_ Not for me. I had plenty of women who had said my name in a variety of circumstances. Even hearing my name screamed when I made some chick come didn't affect me the way Bella just did. Never in my life had I encountered feelings so strong. I was not about to give any credence to love at first sight. Lust at first sight – that's my motto. It made more sense to me. The other was out of my element. I was not about to think it was anything more than a strong attraction to the opposite sex.

With her hand in mine it felt natural. Like our hands were made for one another. I wasn't one for holding hands. I guess you could say I wasn't really the romantic type. I didn't have a history of long standing relationships. Tanya was the longest I had dated a woman and, frankly, it had just become convenient. I can't say that what we did was even dating. I know that sounds like I'm a real prick. Maybe I was. Until this brown eyed girl with the face of an angel I never had given much thought about wanting more from a woman. A part of me was excited about the possibilities but then the inner me, the douche bag me reared his ugly head and kicked these thoughts to the curb.

"I hope we will have another opportunity to meet again." I continued to hold her hand in mine. What snapped me out of it was my phone buzzing again.

I walked out of the conference room to take the call.

"What." I snapped.

"Well isn't that such a cordial way to answer your phone. I texted you about fifteen minutes ago didn't you get it?" Tanya's voice shrilled on the other end of the phone.

When I said Tanya was high maintenance I was not exaggerating. I rolled my eyes as I turned my back and walked a few feet away to continue the conversation.

"Tanya, I told you I was in a meeting this morning. What, you don't understand English?"

_Yeah, I was pissed. So sue me._

"Edward, there's no need to get so pissy. I was hoping I could convince you to change your mind and we could have dinner tonight."

I didn't think dinner would be a good idea but I thought just having a drink and telling her it was over might not be the best option either. To be honest, no matter what, breaking this off was going to go over like a fart in church.

"Edward…" Apparently I had been silent too long.

"Sorry, Tanya, dinner? Yeah okay. How about I pick you up at seven and we grab a bite at New Moon?"

New Moon was local and casual. It was Monday night so it wouldn't be crowded. Regardless telling a woman that you didn't want to see her anymore was not an easy conversation to have. Buying her dinner and having a few glasses of wine wouldn't make it any easier. I knew her type. The type that thought she had her claws dug in and good and could manipulate me with her mouth and body. _Cullen time to man up._

"See you then." Tanya's husky response only confirmed what she wanted from me.

She was going to be sorely disappointed. Let's just hope that's all she would be. She had been known for losing her temper and I had been the recipient of said temper before.

**_~SyP~_**

I normally went to the office once a week. For the most part I could work out of the house when I wasn't visiting clients. We had decided on leasing office space in Port Angeles. We needed good exposure and it was a decent size city. My office was big enough with large windows overlooking wooded trails and a small brook. I was comfortable with my masculinity that I had no problem admitting that spring and summer here were pretty sweet. Wildflowers bloomed and there were occasional sightings of wildlife. You could blame my love for nature on my parents. They loved the outdoors. When we kids were younger they took us camping, taught us to appreciate the small world around us. My parents were hell bent on us not only appreciating nature but also understanding the significance it had on our lives.

"Hey little brother." Emmett stood outside my office leaning against the door.

"Emm, what's up?" I looked up from the files I was scanning that littered my desk.

"What did you think of the meeting at Wolf's?" He asked with this strange expression on his face.

"Fine, I thought we covered the bases. It looks like Fred and his team is real anxious to get started."

Why did I think his question was leading to something altogether different? I raked my hand through my hair waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Jessica was a trip huh?" The ass was smirking.

"Jessica? You mean Fred's PA?" So it was Jessica he was getting at. I was feeling a little more at ease.

"She certainly had her sights on you little brother. "

"Not interested Emmett. Didn't I just tell you I was going to break it off with Tanya? Why the fuck would I want to start something with her? She's just another version of Tanya, maybe worse." I thumbed through the papers looking for the God damn prints for the Wolf project.

"Edward, no need to get your panties bunched up in a knot. I was just curious. That Isabella is something." My head lifted up and met his eyes square on. That sound you heard was the other fucking shoe.

"Miss Swan?" I attempted to sound indifferent.

"Yes, Miss Swan. Or Bella as she likes to be called." Emmett was enjoying this game.

"Ah, yeah she seemed like a nice person." I responded.

"Nice, oh yeah she's nice alright." Now he was definitely fucking with me.

"Emmett, just what is it you want to say, I am in the middle of some shit here."

"Nothing, just that I thought I sensed something going on between you two."

Going on? What. The. Fuck. It's not like I grabbed her and kissed the shit out of her in front of everyone there.

"What are you talking about?" I snapped back.

"You might have fooled the others but I know you Edward. Bella got under your skin."

Does he know my tells that well?

"What the fuck does that mean?"

I was pissed. Not so much at Emmett but more at myself for not getting away with what happened this morning. _Shit._

"It means that you were quite taken with Bella a.k.a Miss Swan." Again with that fucking smirk.

"Emmett I barely spoke to the girl. Are you not getting enough sleep because of Rosalie's bitchiness because of her pregnancy?"

I could play the game if I was pushed and I was being pushed off a cliff.

"Don't bring Rose into this. You fucking know what I am talking about. I saw the way you looked at her. And I have never seen a customary hand shake take as long as yours did. Was your hand stuck or something?"

Emmett didn't missing a God damn thing.

_I was so fucked._

So how was I going to explain to him that I did feel some attraction? I was not in the mood for him to jump all over my shit. I didn't need a lecture on professional propriety. I didn't think I had behaved inappropriate. In fact if I did end up asking Bella out, was that all that bad? She wasn't in charge of the project. It wouldn't interfere in doing business. I mean people met their significant others in all types of situations. _Significant other?_

"I'll admit the girl is pretty. But she's really not my type." Let's see what Emmett was going to throw back at me.

"If she has a pulse she's your type." He laughed.

"Fuck you." Now that pissed me off.

"Come on Edward, can't take the heat?" I wanted to slap that smile off his face. "I wouldn't blame you. The girl is sweet and she's not pretty she's fucking beautiful."

Did my big oaf of a brother who was a happily married man just say Bella was "fucking beautiful?" That pissed me off. What's he doing appraising her beauty anyway? He's got a wife and a baby on the way for fuck's sake! A wave a possessiveness which I didn't understand, more importantly had no right to bowled me over.

_Get a grip Cullen._

"Come to think of it, Emm, I did see you were quite taken with her_ 'You got quite a grip there Ms. Swan.' _ Seriously Emmett."

"What was wrong with that? She did. Quite impressive for such a petite thing."

"Whatever, can we just drop the subject? There's nothing going on."

I rifled through the all the paper on my desk finally finding the blueprints I needed.

"Hey, bro, it's not that I would blame you. Like I said she's hot. And she certainly would be a class up from the chicks you normally date." He loved to bust my balls.

"Oh so I have been dating "classless" chicks."

"Not exactly classless but definitely not the type of girls you would bring home to Mom." He replied again with that stupid fucking grin.

"I had no idea you were so interested in my love life Emmett. I guess marriage has really agreed with you"

"What can I say I found the right woman who knows how to handle me and won't put up with my bullshit. Is it wrong for me to want you to fine the same thing?"

"Emm, I appreciate your looking out for me. Did it ever occur to you that I may not be marriage material?"

"Nope, you are definitely marriage material. The problem is you just haven't found the right girl." He added as he started to make his way back towards his office.

When did he start sounding like Esme?

**A/N: I want to thank those of you who have been reading. A big thank you to those of you who have reviewed. I hope some of you who are reading will give your feedback. I guess no news is good news but at the same time it is always beneficial to hear what you like or what you don't like. Maybe it's still early in the story? But I do hope that some of you will make your voices heard...I would love to hear from you! **

**A huge hug to my betas Jlyn and DennaRose. These girls have been amazing as we take this journey together...love you girls. xoxoxo**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 5

**Bella's POV**

I was still feeling pretty crappy about how I ended things with Angela. Deep down inside I knew that she only wanted to help me. She hated seeing me live a life where I was stuck in neutral. I was never moving forward, I was just stuck. I knew it wasn't a good place to be. As much as I would convince myself that I was happy with where I was at this point, I was lying.

I wanted to feel loved and to give love. I wanted my experiences to be beyond what I shared with Angela and my four legged babies. As a little girl I had dreamed of one day finding my Prince Charming who would take me away from the hollow, emptiness I had felt. Unfortunately for Bella Swan that Prince never came. Instead I ended up realizing that there was no such thing as true love and Charming was the stuff fairy tales were made of.

Angela was right, even if I refused to admit it. The baggage I was carrying around inside needed an outlet. But the problem was I just couldn't make myself sit down with a stranger and delve into the darkness that seemed to swallow me whole. I preferred to ignore it. Even pretended that maybe it never happened.

It had been a while since I had a total meltdown. Said meltdown would always be the result of a drunken stupor. I would start feeling good; the alcohol gave me wings to fly, behaving in a way that was out of character. The more inebriated I became the funny girl in me turned into a slobbering idiot. That's when the memories would come flooding back. The anxiety would creep up on me and consume me. I could see the shadow approach and even smell the stale breath of beer and cigarettes.

**_~SyP~_**

I grabbed my phone and thumbed through my contacts finding Angela's number.

"Hello."

"Ang, it's me Bella. Listen I'm sorry for being such an ass. I know you mean well and I'm, well, I'm just a complete bitch." She understood me like no one else. But it didn't give me the right to shit all over her.

"Bella, sweetie, I know. You know I love you right?" She replied sweetly as she always did. Even pissed she still sounded too damn nice.

"I know you do. I can be such a fuck up that sometimes I don't know why you put up with me"." I giggled.

"We're best friends. Best friends are there for the good and the bad. Sweetie I just want you to start living the good life."

She was going to make me freaking cry and I wasn't going to break down.

"I don't know what I did in this life to deserve a friend like you, but I want you to know that I am so lucky." I sniffed wanting to keep the tears at bay.

"Hey, come on over to the New Moon. Ben and I just got here. Come to think of it, we were going to celebrate your birthday and we have yet to do that." _Oh crap!_ I had forgotten all about that.

"Oh, I don't know. You and Ben are on a date tonight. I don't want to intrude."

"Bella, you are not intruding. I live with Ben, it's not like I don't see him all the time. Sorry baby." I heard Ben through the phone, "Oh is that right?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"You know I hate to celebrate my birthday." I just hated being the center of attention.

"Bella, did you have dinner yet?" She is not going to let this go.

"Well, I haven't eaten yet, and if you are sure it's cool with Ben?" I was starving and it was only Ang and Ben. Why not right?

"It's more than cool. Hurry up and get your ass over here." Angela could be so convincing, no wonder Ben did pretty much what she wanted.

"Okay, just give me fifteen minutes to get myself together and I will be right there."

Getting out tonight was probably a really good idea. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I needed this. After the bizarre encounter with Edward Cullen I needed to take my mind off whatever that was. I still didn't understand. I had dated a few times, I mean a _few_ times. The dates I had never turned into second or third dates. I was too anxious, thought too much about what might happen, when in the end nothing ever did. Why? I was too afraid of what it could mean if I even considered a second date. I couldn't imagine a guy wanting to pursue a relationship with someone like me - an emotional outsider. Angela had set me up a few times which eventually stopped when she recognized it was a waste of time. My dating career consisted of casual encounters; the usual dinner, maybe a movie. None of those guys affected me the way Edward had today.

I rushed upstairs to my bedroom to raid my closet. Okay, what was I going to wear? New Moon was very casual and I did casual very well. I settled on a pair of skinny jeans and black V-neck sweater. It was laid back but classy too. I dug through the bottom of my closet for my black Sketches. It's not like I owned a boat load of shoes, but I did have enough that the closet floor at times was in utter chaos.

I stood in the bathroom brushing my teeth as I looked at the reflection in the mirror. I had always wondered what it would be like if I had blonde hair and blue eyes. I mean isn't that what guys wanted, the blonde bombshell? A woman who had a 'killer rack' as I heard described one too many times at New Moon. I shied away from attention, but there were times that I wish I could feel normal for once. Feel attractive and have some guy find me attractive.

_That's not going to happen if you continue isolating yourself from the male population._

This all brought me back to Edward Cullen and our encounter this morning. I know I was attracted to him. As much as I wanted to blame it on hormones and my period, that was all bullshit. He was beautiful, with those green eyes and tousled rich auburn hair. My fingers ached to run through that thick mane. I was almost certain there were a hell of a lot of women who would have killed to have a head of hair like his. He was tall, lean and my mind wondered what he looked like beneath the shirt he wore. Edward was not as brawny as Emmett but there was no mistake he was toned. For a moment I thought back to when he had grabbed me before I fell. I sensed the power beneath the hand on my upper arm. Those long fingers so easily wrapped around me, which led me to think about what else they could do.

_As if you would ever get the chance to feel those hands on you. And why am I even thinking about this?_

I pulled my makeup bag from under the sink cabinet. My complexion was pale as the blush I had applied this morning had already faded. I touched it up as I continued to scrutinize my face. My lips were in need of more lip gloss and my hair? What the hell was going to do with it? At the end of the day it always looked flat. That was my fault as I had a nervous habit of twisting it around my fingers. Yes, it was a habit that I was trying to break. So far I had not been successful. Finally I settled on putting it up in a ponytail. It would be away from my face therefore deterring me from playing with it. One more check in the mirror and I deemed myself presentable. Well as presentable as I could be. This was not a date; I was only meeting Angela and Ben. Not that I didn't want to look decent for them but I wasn't meeting a guy. In fact when was the last time I actually had a date? God, I had to scour the memory banks to remember. Oh yeah, Mike Newton. _Ugh! _ I shuddered at the memory.

_**~SyP~**_

I parked my car in the lot directly behind New Moon. Wow, it was a Monday night and it seemed that there was as decent crowd here. I walked towards the main entrance and pulled the door. New Moon was a fair size restaurant and bar. The décor was nothing elaborate. Exposed beams with all different types of memorabilia hanging on the walls. There was a wide-ranging display from sports to motion picture art. I found it to be very comforting and felt at ease here. As I said this was a very casual place, and I felt at home here.

I began to scan the array of tables looking for Angela and Ben. I wasn't sure if they had already been seated or were in the bar waiting. Out of the corner of my eye I could see an arm waving. I turned my head and there was Angela, on her toes waving at me, calling my name. I turned and made my way to their table.

"Hey guys. I'm sorry if I held you up." Ben got up and pushed a chair back for me. He was such a gentleman.

"Thank you Ben. How are you?" I quickly gave his cheek a quick peck.

"Doing well, you know working and trying to the live the dream." He laughed.

"That's awesome. Angela, you look amazing." She always did.

She wasn't a raving beauty but she was pretty. She had long dark hair, darker than mine. Dark brown eyes, and although she wore glasses they just complimented her face.

"Thanks Bella. I love the black top with the jeans. I see were showing a bit of cleavage tonight?" She raised her eyebrows.

_What? _

I looked down and suddenly felt a little self-conscious.

"Bella, you're blushing. I am kidding." Angela grinned.

I did feel my face flush. The last thing I wanted was to look anything but me. I wasn't Jessica Stanley who wore revealing clothing as part of her daily routine. She did because that was how she got men to look at her. Frankly the men she dated were just as shallow as she was. Therefore it didn't matter that she had no depth. Case in point today at the meeting, she continued to fuss with the open collar of her blouse. No doubt she was wearing some kind of lacy push up bra to make her boobs stand out more. _Why was I even thinking about Jessica's boobs? _It was clear she wanted Edward Cullen to see her goods. _God, why did that make me angry?_

I played with my pendant, which was another nervous habit of mine. This one however did seem to relax me.

"I was a little embarrassed. Ang, we are in mixed company." I nodded towards Ben.

Angela started to laugh and Ben smiled. "How long have you known Ben? Since you met me right? Ben is so use to girl talk. Isn't that right honey?" She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

It was true, I knew Ben as long as I had known Angela. She and Ben had been together since college, where I met Angela. Six years we had been friends. But it seemed like a life time. She knew everything about me. I felt like we were more like sisters than best friends, which was special since I didn't have any family.

"Sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." Angela gave me that big smile of hers. I knew she would never intentionally make me feel awkward. I just needed to be less sensitive. _Add that to my list of things I needed to work on. Crap it was a long list._

"To answer your question, no, you haven't held us up. We told our server we were waiting for another person."

"Cool, thanks guys. That was really sweet of you."

I was really blessed to have met Angela in college and our friendship continued to grow. Since I didn't have any family she and her family had been the closest thing I had to one in so long.

The waitress appeared and took our drink orders. I was in the mood for something strong to help take the edge of the day I had. I ordered my old stand by Jack Daniels and Coke. It was funny that I could hold my hard liquor better than beer or wine. Wine, well let's just say too much of that not only got me drunk, but I would wake up with one hell of a hangover.

"Bella, remember our senior year just before graduating and we decided to do shots of tequila? Angela laughed when she brought up that memory.

_Did I remember? Crap, I couldn't even smell tequila without it turning my stomach!_

"Ang, why the hell would you bring that up? I have tried to forget that night! My stomach still hasn't recovered." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh, wait you have to tell this story." Ben egged Angela on.

_Great!_

I looked at Angela with pleading eyes but she just smirked and started to tell Ben how we had gone through a fifth of Jose Cuervo. We still wanted to drink so we walked down to the liquor store which was just a few blocks from campus. We bought a half gallon and by the end of the night there was about a quarter left in the bottle. I was out on the deck of the campus apartment we were living in flashing my breasts.

_God, can I just crawl under the table now?_

Ben was laughing his ass off. He was laughing so hard there were tears streaming from his face.

"Shit, I wish I had been there to see that." He said through laughing tears.

"Trust me Ben, you didn't." I replied quickly.

"And Angela, what the hell were you doing?" He asked her.

"I was by the sliding doors encouraging Bella to flash more than her boobs!" She couldn't stop giggling.

"Thanks, Angela. Thanks so much for sharing one of my most humiliating moments of my life." As much as I wanted to be pissed at her, it was funny. In fact I remember how freeing it was for a few moments. That is until the laughing turned to tears, the tears turned to sobbing and I spilled my ugly past to Angela.

Angela could see the change in my demeanor; she could read me like a book and changed the subject quickly.

"So Bella, tell me again how the meeting went this morning regarding the new building." I gave Angela a shy smile. She understood me so well. No wonder I loved her so much.

"It was good. I mean it was just discussing the preliminary details on breaking ground. Fred is really excited about getting the construction going." I actually was looking forward to it as well. The building we were in was nice but we definitely needed the space. A new building made me feel hopeful. A new start, new challenges and perhaps with any luck some positive changes for me in the right direction.

"So when are they going to begin?" Angela asked

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mike Newton. _Oh just what I need._

"Um…ah, I think Friday they will pour the concrete down for the foundation."

I really hoped Mike didn't see me. There were a couple of reasons. One, he was an ass and he thought he was God's gift to women. Second, he had taken me out on a date a while back. He wanted to go out again but I turned him down. I knew that it had pissed him off. His parents owned Newton Sporting Goods in town. They were a very good customer of Wolf's. But regardless that didn't mean because I worked for the company and he was a customer he had an in with me. Just thinking about that night made my skin crawl. He was all hands; trust me they were not the hands I wanted on me. They didn't feel the same as the hand that had gripped my arm earlier this morning. Mike's hand had left me cold and unmoving, where the other hand that held mine only hours before branded me with a force that coursed through my veins. I could still feel him. _This could not be normal._

"That's great Bella. I know you are looking forward to the new building." Angela could see that my eyes had shifted slightly over her head. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…" I replied

"Earth to Bella, this is me. I can see by your face you are distracted." Angela began to turn her head.

"Don't! Please, don't turn your head Ang!" I begged.

"What is the problem?"

"Freaking Mike Newton just walked in and I would like to try and stay under the radar." I pleaded.

Too late, he caught my eye and he was now making his way towards our table. I just wanted to have a nice dinner with Angela and Ben. Do you think just once my plans could go the way I had hoped? _ Nope!_

"Isabella…" God, I hated when he called me Isabella. The way he emphasized the last syllable of my name made my skin crawl. The sound of his voice was like nails on a chalk board. I wanted to spit nails!

"Hey Mike. How are you?" I forced a smile as I looked up at him.

The only thing he had going for him was that he did have pretty blue eyes. But they were blue, not the green I had witnessed earlier today that seemed to be haunting my every thought.

"I am doing well. It's been a while. I was hoping to run into you again." He looked at me then at Angela and Ben.

Crap, I should not be so rude.

"Angela and Ben, this is Mike Newton. His family owns Newton Sporting Goods in town." I made the introductions and did my best to be pleasant while I continued to smile.

"It's nice to meet you both." He shook both their hands while never taking his eyes of me.

Did I say that I hated how he looked at me? As if he was undressing me with his eyes. I wanted to hurl.

"So what brings you in?" I felt the need to say something when what I really wanted was for Mike to walk away and allow us to enjoy the rest of our evening.

"I thought I would get a bite to eat. I just got off work; we were so busy today I didn't get to have lunch. I _am_ starved." He answered and I knew what he was getting at.

For the love of Pete I knew I was going to regret this.

"Would you like to join us?" _Noooooooooooooo!_

_Why doe_s God hate me?

"I don't want to interrupt, but I would love to if that's cool with you guys." Of course you don't mind interrupting. Asshat!

Both Angela and Ben were fine with Mike joining us. I knew one thing for sure, and that was he would not be paying for my meal. It wasn't a date and he was a customer. I am not saying that if I had found something in Mike and wanted to pursue the relationship that my job would be in jeopardy. In fact, one of our sales representatives was married to the daughter of one of our dealers in Michigan. I just didn't want to encourage Mike. I knew he could be relentless in getting what he wanted. He certainly knew how to get the best pricing for products, he was one smooth negotiator. His tactics were wasted on me. And yet here he was like an annoying gnat, he seemed to never go away.

We were finishing up dinner and actually the conversation

was rather amusing. Mike did have a great sense of humor. So I lied, he had pretty blue eyes and was funny. He was telling us about the last trip to Las Vegas when he found himself out at Red Rock Canyon and drunk out of his skull. I was laughing so hard that I needed my napkin to wipe my tears from my eyes. I had not realized that it had fallen to the floor. I bent down to grab it and as I did the breath nearly left my body. Crouched down holding my napkin was none other than Edward Cullen.

_Crap!_

**_ A/N: _I want to thank those of you have been reading, who are following this story, those who have added to your alerts, made it a favorite. **

**So what do you think? Bella clearly has some secrets. Is she behaving as you think she should? **

**Let me hear your thoughts!**

**My deepest appreciation to Jlyn and DennaRose who continue to be my second and third set of eyes. As well as my additional voices. Love your girls...xo**


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.

Chapter 6

**Edward's POV**

I jumped in the shower to ease the tension I was feeling. I really wasn't looking forward to dinner with Tanya tonight. I was so pissed for hooking up with her I could kick my ass. But my dick overruled the common sense I thought I possessed. Instead, I saw a great set of tits and a hot pussy that was for the taking. I thought she understood that this was just about sex, plain and simple. At least she had, until, like the asshole that I am, I invited her to the barbecue. As I remembered that day, I reflected how Tanya's eyes grew so fucking big. She was almost cat like, ready to pounce on her prey. I was too blinded by the blond hair, blue eyes and what looked like one fine ass to realize she was thinking long term. _Idiot! _

This day couldn't be over soon enough. Besides the bullshit with Tanya I would have to deal with, I was still reeling from this morning's meeting. I still wasn't able to wrap my head around what it was that happened when I met Isabella…Bella. It had to be just some fucked up bizarre encounter. That shit happens right? Emmett didn't miss a damn thing. He sure as hell had to rub it in my face that he picked up on it. He can be such a prick.

My phone starting buzzing, Christ who was it now! I looked down at the display and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey Mom."

"Edward, how are you sweetheart?" My mother had the most calming voice. One of my favorite things about her, (besides how much she adored me) was the knack she had in diffusing stressful situations. Trust me, we Cullen's could stress. Well some of us that is.

"I'm good, how are you and Dad? Everything okay?" I just saw them a few days ago, other than my father still working too many hours, all seemed well.

"Edward, everything is fine. I just wanted to remind you that the benefit for the hospital is coming up. You did say you were going to be there."

Shit! Yeah, I did say that I would. This was a big deal for my Dad. Not only did it raise a ton of money for the hospital, but it also raised awareness of several specialties available at Fork's Community. My father was Chief of Surgery but he was very proud of the advancement the hospital had made in mental health.

"Oh, right. Yeah Mom, I remember. Can you give me the date again?" I better fucking mark this in my calendar.

"It's Saturday October 6th at the Eclipse, 8 PM." She was actually laughing a bit because she knew I had totally spaced this damn thing.

"October 6th, Eclipse, 8 PM. Got it." I wasn't surprised that it was being held at the Eclipse. It was probably the nicest hotel and convention centers located in Port Angeles.

"You know dear, you should ask Tanya to accompany you." Did I fucking hear her right? _Fuck no! _

"I don't think so Mom. In fact I am ending it with her tonight." I heard my mother sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Honey, what happened? She seemed really nice." _Nice! Yeah, right. She wanted one thing -the Cullen name. _ I knew it, deep down inside I did. My smaller brain over ruled my larger one.

I didn't want to drag Tanya through the mud with my mother. It was more my fault than hers. I turned a blind eye because I was getting what I wanted. I wouldn't make that mistake again. Maybe it was time for me to grow the fuck up.

"She and I, we um, we just didn't have enough in common." The only thing we had in common was between the sheets.

"Edward, I worry about you. I just want you to find the girl who will steal your heart away and love you the way you deserved to be. It's all I want. I was hoping that the time you were spending with Tanya, perhaps she was the one." She sighed; I knew all too well what that meant. I wasn't giving this enough time.

"Mom, I know you want that for me. Maybe it will happen. But then again, maybe I'm just not the marrying kind." I was trying to not get pissed off but I could taste the anger on my tongue, the bitter tang of acid from the churning of my stomach.

"You have such a poor image of yourself. I don't understand why you see yourself as not worthy of a long lasting relationship. You are quite a catch Edward. Before you say anything about me being bias, I am speaking the truth." _The catch was the Cullen name._

I hated that she worried about me. There was no way I was even going to mention Isabella Swan. Fuck, the minute I even mentioned the bizarre connection I felt with this girl, she would have me married with three kids. No fucking way was I going there now.

"Look Mom, I don't have time to get into this with you at the moment. I was getting ready to head out for dinner."

I wasn't in the mood for her psychoanalysis. Mom couldn't help it, she did major in psychology. It always came back to the bitch that had given birth to me. What mother would leave three young children? I didn't care how many times my father tried to explain, to me, there was never an excuse to do what she did. If she and my father had fallen out of love then fine - but to abandon your kids? That was some serious fucked up shit. I would be lying if I said it had not affected me. Emmett, well he seemed to deal with it differently. And Alice? Well she was barely one, and Esme raised her from the age of three. Too young to really understand, and although she knew Esme wasn't her biological mother, she was the only mother she had ever known. Whether kids were in my future or not, one thing I knew for sure, they would always know how much they were loved and wanted.

"Alright son. I didn't mean to upset you. My call was to remind you of the benefit. I love you Edward. Your happiness is what matters to me, I hope you realize that."

"I love you too. I know, I get it. I'll talk to you later."

_**~SyP~**_

Normally whenever I got behind the wheel of my SUV I was relaxed, not a care in the world. Tonight was an entirely different feeling. Anxiety, annoyance, and total 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. A big part of me just would have loved to have called Tanya and tell her we were done. She could go pound fucking sand for all I cared. As much of a dick as I was at times, my parents did raise me better than that. I guess I was just really pissed for even putting myself in this position. _Just remember that next time fucktard!_ I wasn't going to swear off casual dating, but I sure as hell was going to be more selective. All the cards would be on the table; nothing would be assumed or taken for granted. Relationships and I were not a good mix.

Why did I even suggest New Moon? Christ, Tanya lived in Port Angeles and New Moon was just on the outskirts of Forks. _Cullen you are so fucked! _ She would assume she was going to spend the night at my place. That wasn't happening. I had handled this whole thing shitty from the very beginning. Whatever, the damage was done; I needed to face the music and man up. I needed something to take edge off so I turned on my iPod. Delibes's Flower Duet from Lakmé began to fill the cabin of my vehicle filling me with calm and serenity. I took a deep breath and let it out.

_**~SyP~**_

Forty five minutes later I was outside Tanya's condo. I was tempted to just honk the horn but that was totally classless. So I parked and made my way up to her door. She had a pretty sweet townhouse in a small development. I rang the bell as I contemplated how this was going to go.

"Hey baby…." Immediately I was immersed in a haze of that heavy perfume that was her signature.

"Hey, ready to go?" I was in a hurry to get this show on the road.

"Whoa, what's the rush. Come on in."

_Oh Fuck_

Not good. It's not that I didn't think I could resist Tanya. Well that's not true; it was my dick that couldn't resist her. Keep your cool Cullen and this will all work out. _I hope._

"I was surprised that you changed your mind about dinner tonight. This morning you told me you were too busy on Mondays." She was wearing tight jeans that she paired with an even tighter sweater. Pale pink with a neckline that was dangerously bordering on indecent in the way it accented her tits. I was starting to sweat. _I am a dumbass._

"Well, that's normally how Monday's are, but my schedule ended up being lighter than I anticipated. Let's get going, I am starving. And my Tuesday is looking like it should be a Monday with all the shit Emmett and I have to power through." Let's just get the fuck out of here. The sooner we got to New Moon the sooner this night could end.

"How about a drink before we leave?" Her lips were candy apple red and glistened. She licked them as she looked at mine. Why did I feel like I was an animal being cornered?

"I'm driving Tanya, and haven't had anything to eat since lunch. I don't think it's a good idea for me to have any alcohol until I put something inside my stomach." Now that was the truth.

"Are you alright? You seem a bit tense." Tanya walked towards me and started to run her fingers through my hair.

"Don't." I stared her down and she backed away.

"Okay, I get it. You are tired and hungry. Honestly Edward if you were feeling this way maybe you should have called to cancel. We could have rescheduled."

Once I made up my mind there was very little anyone could do to change it. The more I thought about what I had been doing with Tanya the more I started to feel like a heel. I knew that she hadn't complained, fuck it wasn't like she didn't get what she wanted. Well not all that she wanted. The sex had been decent and I made a point of seeing that she was satisfied. _What a guy._

_**~SyP~**_

I parked the Cayenne far enough from other cars since the last fucking thing I wanted was my doors dinged. Not after spending a hefty amount on this SUV. I loved it; I was such a boy at times. You know what they say "boys and their toys." I was quiet for most of the ride to New Moon. Actually there was really no point in talking as Tanya rambled on about some bullshit about her upcoming shopping spree with some friends in Seattle this weekend. I wanted to just say shut the fuck up as it was becoming increasingly annoying listening to her banter. Now that I had made up my mind that I was cutting her lose every little thing she did was a pain in my ass. I was beginning to think taking her out to dinner was a really bad move on my part. Why the fuck didn't I just tell her this morning? Whatever, I hadn't so now I had to deal with the consequences.

I opened her door; she slid her legs out and grabbed my arm for support. Not that it was really necessary; she just wanted her hands on me. It was very clear before we left her place that she wanted to delay heading out. I couldn't tell her over dinner. That would be such a douchebag move. I was left with only one choice and that was to break it to her when we got back to her place. No matter where or when it was going to be uncomfortable, I had visions of her slapping the shit out of me or throwing objects at my head. I wasn't saying that I didn't deserve it but then again we had never discussed the ground rules. I just assumed she knew we had an uncomplicated arrangement. We had some laughs, dinner and drinks and then fucked. It worked for me until this morning when big brown eyes invaded my core. I didn't really understand what that meant. I wasn't even sure if I was willing to find out. The only thing I did recognize is that I was no longer interested in fucking Tanya.

We walked into the restaurant and immediately I suggested we head over to the bar for a cocktail before we grabbed a table for dinner. Tanya was more than fine with it. I ordered a Jack and coke and Tanya ordered an Appletini. I had the bartender put it on my tab after telling him we were having dinner. The bar was actually more crowded than I imagined it would be on Monday night. The music was loud but not enough to drown out Tanya's continuation of her babbling on about the trip to Seattle.

"Kate and I are so excited about shopping at Pacific Place." Tanya's hand was lingering on my knee.

"Mmmm, oh really. Cool." I was so not fucking into this. I would rather have had a root canal then endure this fucking shit. _And take your hand off my God damn knee!_

"I guess they have quite a collection of shops and we plan on hitting everyone." _Whoopee fucking do!_

I half listened to what was coming out of her mouth while the other half of me was wondering what a certain mouth would taste like. Here I am sitting in a bar with one girl while my mind is on another. _Cullen, you are the epitome of insensitivity. _ My parents would be so proud.

After too many minutes of Tanya's monologue I ushered her towards the dining room so we could get dinner over with. It was nearly 8 PM, I was starved and I wanted the night to end as soon as at all possible. Preferably with my balls still attached to my dick.

We entered the dining room, the hostess asked how many in our party then motioned for us to wait a moment to ensure a table for two was available. Again the room looked full for a Monday night. I didn't know if there was some kind of event going on around the surrounding area or if people just decided to hit New Moon for the hell of it.

While we waited for the hostess to reappear I casually scanned the room. It was spacious; I guess you could say there was about close to forty tables in the dining room. The décor was anything but relaxing which was the whole theme behind New Moon. Nothing ostentatious which frankly would be out of place since Forks and the immediate area was anything but that. People here were very laid back and appreciated the simple things. If you wanted something more then you had to find it in Port Angeles or even better Seattle.

"Thank you for waiting, right this way." The hostess was an attractive raven haired woman, I was guessing in her late twenties maybe early thirties. She was new. I didn't remember seeing her before. It wasn't like I fucking lived in this place but I was here enough to know plenty of the staff. I noticed as she gave me the once over before starting to cross the dining room to lead us to our table. Look your fill sweetheart, that's all you're gonna get.

Tanya was leading the way behind the hostess when I heard one of the tables off to the right. Voices raised in laughter and even some snorting. I guess someone was telling one hell of a story.

_Fuck me!_

I had to take a second look because the first time I didn't believe my eyes. Isabella Swan, Bella. The giggling and laughing was coming from her, well she was one of the participants in whatever the fuck was going on at that table. And just what was going on? Who was the blonde fucker sitting next to Bella? Why did it fucking bother me? It's not like she was my girl, she was far from mine period. Why did I feel myself getting all alpha male when that blonde joker had his arm around her chair?

Bella looked…there's simply no other word to describe her but breathtaking. From where I was standing I could see she had on pair of jeans and a black sweater. But the contrast of the black sweater and her coloring gave her an ethereal air. Like she wasn't of this world, any minute I was waiting for her wings to fucking sprout out from her back and truly show me that she was an angel. Winking from above the rise of her breasts (_yeah I said breasts not tits, what the fuck is up with that?) _was the same necklace with that medal that she had on this morning. At that moment I wanted to be that medal. I wanted to feel the warmth and the beat of her heart as I rested my hand there.

We made our approach by their table at the same time that Bella bent over to pick up her napkin that had obviously fallen from her lap. I didn't even think, I just reacted, before I knew it I was on bended knee grabbing the napkin as my eyes locked with laughing chocolate ones. Staring at her I could tell I was the last person she had figured she would bump into here of all places.

We were suspended in time, in that moment it was only her and I fixated on each other. Her fragrance enveloped me like a warm summer day, fuck she was so beautiful. I didn't remember the smattering of freckles across her nose earlier today. Her scent, her face, her hair, her eyes, everything about her drew me as if she had the power to hypnotize me. I was the first one to break the contact before Tanya flipped, like I needed her to cause a fucking scene.

"Isabella, it's nice to see you again." I handed her the napkin as I was rose up towering over her, over the table running my fingers through my hair.

"Ah…Edward. Yes, what a small world." Clearly she was shaken by our encounter. She was blushing again. Jesus Christ that made me hard. Next to me Tanya cleared her throat. I wasn't going to make introductions. I wasn't going to borrow trouble; I had enough of my own.

"I apologize for interrupting; enjoy the remainder of your dinner." I touched Tanya's elbow and maneuvered her to our destination. It was close enough that I could still see Bella. _Was that a good idea? _

"Who was that?" Okay here we go. Tanya's claws were coming out. She looped her arm through mine and practically had her body plastered to my side. Staking a claim?

_Fuck my life._

"She's no one." Shit why did that sound so wrong coming out of my mouth.

"She didn't look like no one." I sensed the barb in her tone.

"Tanya, really is this important?" I really didn't think Tanya deserved an explanation. Part of me wanted to keep Bella secretly ensconced in my own private place. I could see Tanya's eyes flare and her mouth compress into a hard line.

_Oh fuck, really._

"She works for the company that has hired E & E Designs to build their new headquarters. We met this morning, I had a meeting remember?" Why did I find it necessary to justify my actions?

"Oh, yes. You did say you had a meeting this morning."

Can we drop this? I was doing my best to avert my eyes from Bella's shoulders, doing a pretty decent job. Suddenly Bella and the rest of her table got up. I guess that solved my problem with my wandering eye.

_**~SyP~**_

The drive back to Tanya's went the same as the drive to New Moon. I was quiet for the most part while she gave me her whole opinion on how the service at the restaurant could have been better. After all she pointed out; they knew I was a regular patron. Therefore I should receive exceptional service. All the while she was beating this dead horse, my mind was elsewhere. Like where was Bella right now? Was that blonde dude her boyfriend? Fuck, of course she would have a boyfriend. A girl like that couldn't be unattached. So she preferred the blonde, blue eyed type. That was fucking typical. I guess it just surprised me because I didn't find her to be anything but typical. _What the fuck are you talking about? You have met her twice? Get grip_ _Cullen!_

I pulled outside Tanya's townhouse, tired and slightly annoyed. It annoyed me that I ran into Bella and she affected me the way that she did. It annoyed me that I had to waste a few hours humoring Tanya, when I could have been at home whacking it. It annoyed me that I wanted to know where Bella was right now and what she was doing and with whom. _Yeah I know with whom, fucker. _I was fucking annoyed period. What a way to end a Monday, can I get a do over?

"Edward, care to come in for a drink?" Her voice was dripping sweet and I felt a cavity coming on.

"I don't think so Tanya. I have to drive back home, I did have a couple at the restaurant."

"Well, instead of alcohol, how about a cup coffee?" Her hand that had been in her lap was now on my lap and old fucking faithful noticed.

_Jesus Fucking Christ!_

I promised myself I wasn't going to fall into this again. But I had to go in didn't I? I still had to tell her that I didn't want to see her anymore.

"Sure, coffee sounds good."

Tanya was busy in the kitchen getting the coffee on. Her place was cute. It wasn't overly large but it was roomy. Her living and dining rooms were an open concept that led to the kitchen. She had two bedrooms one of which was the master that was all decked out in feminine tones and prints. The girl had a fondness for pink. The first time I saw her bedroom I thought a case of Pepto Bismol had exploded. In fact I was rather amazed I was able to get stiff and keep it up long enough to fuck her. It's one of those colors that if you had a hangover the sheer sight of the walls would make you vomit.

"Hey sweetie, I will be right out with the coffee."

Ten o'clock. Okay, I would drink a cup then just get right to it. I had rehearsed it enough my head to know short and sweet was the best avenue to take.

Tanya walked out from the kitchen carrying a tray with two cups, creamer and sugar. Christ you would think after the few months we had spent together she knew I took my coffee black. I guess she didn't notice the little things.

The couch dipped beside me as Tanya sat down. Too close for my liking considering she was in the perfect range to do some bodily damage if she didn't take what I had to say well.

The coffee was hot and it felt good as it flowed down my throat. I placed my cup back onto the serving tray and turned slightly towards her. Tanya moved closer to me as her right hand began stroking my chest trailing her had down towards my waist.

"Tanya…." I started to tell her to stop when she unbuckled my pants and pulled my zipper down. Oh fuck. She had my dick out from boxers in a flash and it pulsed in her hand. This was not part of my plan. I needed to tell her to back off. But my little head wanted nothing of the kind. It wanted some release. She pushed me back on to the couch as she sprung up and dropped to her knees.

"Just relax baby, let me take care of you. You seem so tense." Her fingers rubbed the tip of my dick and it felt engorged like I could come at any second. I closed my eyes and immediately I envisioned a brunette whose hand and fingers were playing my dick so well. It was her breath I felt as it neared her quarry, her tongue that lapped the tip. I wanted so badly to feel her mouth around me, maybe I could just keep my eyes closed and think of her as Tanya sucked me off.

_No!_ This was wrong, all wrong. Regardless that I didn't give two shits about Tanya, she was still a human being right? She had feelings? I knew she wanted more from me than I was willing to give. If I continued to let her pleasure me like this I was no better than the man whore Emmett said I was.

"Tanya, no. Just stop." I pulled her hand off me and moved away tucking myself back into my boxers, zipping my pants and refastening my belt.

"What the fuck Edward." She gave me a look of 'are you seriously passing up a blow job?'

I didn't know how to take that, actually I did. When did I ever turn down a blow job from Tanya? Never, that's when.

"Tanya, you and me…it's just not working anymore."

3, 2, 1…

"Excuse me! It's not working anymore? Just what does that mean exactly?" Tanya got up and stood tall

, like a towering inferno. Her face was turning red while she narrowed her eyes, almost to the point that they looked like two slits.

Oh fuck…not good.

"Look, we had some fun; I really enjoyed our time together. But it was just that." _Oh smooth Cullen._

"Fun, you call what we were doing fun?" Yup, she was pissed.

"Well, yeah. It was casual, but I don't think we ever thought this was going anywhere."

"Fuck you Edward! Fuck you! You are some piece of work you know that? God how could I be such an idiot!" She was fuming and I was nervous that flying objects were about to be aimed at my head.

"Tanya, come on. I don't think we ever discussed that we were exclusive. I'm sorry if I led you on. I didn't mean to." I sounded sincere, fuck I was. Seriously, I didn't want to hurt the girl. But I wasn't lying. Never once did we discuss that we were exclusive. It wasn't like I saw her every night.

"Jesus, Edward I met your family! What was that?"

"You came to one barbecue; don't make it out to be more than what it was." Like I said that was the biggest mistake I made other than tangling up with her. _Such a douche bag!_

"I think you should leave. What kind of guy takes a girl out to dinner, then back to her place to break it off? _Who are you_?" Her voice got louder and it almost sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"So you would have rather I called you up on the phone and tell you I didn't think we should see each other anymore? I'm sorry Tanya. I guess maybe I fucked this up all around. "

"Oh you can say that again. Go ahead Edward leave. I won't be surprised if you come back once you realize what you are missing." Her composure was back in tact as she spit those words out standing straight with her arms crossed. Well at least she wasn't planning on throwing anything at me. Yet….

I walked to the front door and opened it while I heard Tanya call me a 'fucking asshole.'

I couldn't disagree.

**A/N: Thank you for those of you who are taking this little journey with me. I hope you have liked what you have read so far. What are your thoughts about Edward? Do you think he acted fairly in regards to Tanya? I does look like Bella is getting under his skin...what are your thoughts?**

**To Jlyn and DennaRose...you know how I feel. xoxoxo **


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made; only fulfilling a creative whim.

Chapter 7

**Bella's POV**

Friday finally arrived. God this week just dragged, but finally my reward, the weekend was upon us. After Monday things went back to normal. Well outside of the fact that I still couldn't shake the after effects of Edward Cullen. I felt like he was some kind of affliction, you know, like getting the flu and having a hard time getting over it. I wonder if loading up on vitamin C would do the trick. _Funny Bella… _ Dinner at the New Moon was great even if Mike Newton crashed my evening. What I didn't count on was Edward showing up, and not alone. The blonde Barbie doll must have been his girlfriend. Why am I not surprised that she was everything I wasn't. It's not as if I knew the man. But for some reason there was a part of me that hoped he wasn't the typical guy who gravitated towards the blonde stereotypes. Then again for all I knew this girl could have been a rocket scientist. I didn't know her from Adam and judging her by her looks was unfair. Regardless it made me feel even more self-conscious about my appearance. I could never measure up to someone like that. It wasn't like I even had a chance with him. Why would he spare me a single thought when he had such eye candy on his arm?

I felt the same stirrings as I did from the first time I had met him that morning. He was mere inches from my face when he had bent down to pick up my napkin. I nearly fainted, or felt as if I would. I know the pupils of my eyes must have dilated to the size of saucers. His eyes? _UGH! _They were even a deeper shade of green than I imagined. They reminded me of the color of the forest that surrounded my home, so lush and vibrant. It would be so easy to get lost in those pools of jade. To forget where you were, what you were doing. They had the power to render me either speechless or to babble gibberish. I would have been satisfied to simply remain under his spell, leaving behind the monotony that was my life.

Edward and the blonde bombshell were taken to their table but I swear I could still feel him. I know that was wishful thinking, but a part of me was hoping that he had been affected by our encounter as well. Maybe he even stole a glance or two my way? _Sure Bella, the man felt compelled to stare at generic when he had top shelf. _ Was it too early to have a drink?

Snapping me out of my pity party was the sound of my phone ringing. "Hey Fred, what's up?"

"Bella, listen today E & E will be laying down the foundation. Actually they have already started. A group of us will be heading over after lunch to check the site. I would like you to come along. "

I broke out in a sweat. I don't know why I did, but my forehead was dotted with beads of perspiration. Would Edward be there? Why did I even care if he was? _You're smitten. _Smitten, who even uses that word anymore? By the sound of Fred's tone it wasn't going to be a matter up for discussion. Edward aside, I was really curious about seeing the construction process from beginning to end. I always loved to see how things were put together. Living alone I have my share of assembling one thing or another. Not that I had any clue about building a structure. I was inquisitive by nature, not having much recollection of my parents; but I must have inherited that trait from one of them.

"Sure Fred, it will be really interesting to watch the construction. What time do you want us to head over?"

Thankfully, I convinced Fred to let me meet him there. It's not that I was afraid of being alone with him really - I had my childhood scars, but I'd worked hard at getting past some of them at least. Still, I always felt better knowing I had at least that much control and could make my own escape, especially if Edward was there.

I had butterflies in my stomach. Butterflies! This was really getting out of hand. For a girl who didn't really give the opposite sex much thought, Edward had monopolized much of my mind this past week. More than I was willing to admit. I definitely didn't want to admit this to Angela. As it was she had grilled me over the chance meeting at New Moon. Thank God she had the sense to ask me every question under the sun when I got home and called me. _No chance in hell that she was going to give me a pass._

**Flashback**

"_So that was Edward Cullen." Underlying her tone was the need for her to squeal. _

"_Yes, that was Edward." I tried to sound matter fact, as if he was nothing special. I mean I really knew nothing about him, other than he made my skin tingle, my heart race, and I wanted to know how his body felt against mine. _

"_Bella, he's drop dead gorgeous. I don't think I have ever seen a guy so perfect." I was about to remind Angela she had a pretty sweet boyfriend. "Although, a guy like that must need to have his ego stroked."_

"_Probably…" I said as I laughed at her comment._

"_And the girlfriend, I mean seriously? I wonder if her hair color is natural. Do you think her carpet matches?" I nearly choked on the water I had just sipped._

"_Angela! Oh. My. God! That is disgusting. Thanks for the imagery." _

"_Sorry sweetie, I just couldn't resist. Anyways he is definitely easy on the eyes. So did you feel the same connection?"_

"_Um…no, not really." My face was crimson. _

"_Oh come on now, don't lie to me." How did she know?_

"_Alright, maybe I did. Whatever, it's not like someone like him could ever be interested in me."_

"_Well not with an attitude like that. Geez Bella, you need to give yourself some credit. You're bright, articulate, and beautiful. So you don't have a rack like Barbie Doll? Who wants tits that big? And you have a great fit body!" _

"_And that's why you are my best friend and biggest fan."_

"_All I'm saying is if he's interested in you, don't turn him away. He just might prove to be that someone special."_

**End of Flashback**

_Someone special. _ I wanted to believe that could be true for me. But that meant I would have to let my guard down. In any relationship in order for it to grow and prosper, honesty was essential. I just didn't know I could be that honest. Angela knew the demons that haunted me. It made sense that seeking professional help was probably a good thing. But I was stubborn. I was determined to somehow exercise the demons on my own and not have to bare my shame in front of another person. Edward was the first man that gave me pause to want more, to be free of the burden I carried. _Why am I even going there? It's not like Edward Cullen has asked to date me. Maybe when pigs fly._

**_~~SyP~~_**

The drive to the new building site was only five minutes away. The general area was even more rural than where we currently were located. In fact we would be the only building here given we were surrounded by wetlands. I rather liked the idea of a lone building in the middle of such a beautiful backdrop. I could already envision going out on my lunch hour and exploring. My new digital camera that Angela and Ben got me for my birthday was going to get one major work out. I loved the outdoors and everything it represented. It was one of the reasons I decided to live in the house my parents had bought and raised me in until their untimely death. I guess given my father's occupation as Chief of Police of Forks, he and my mother had made provisions for me. One of which was the house would be mine. It was held in trust until I turned twenty-one. Besides the house they had also set up a trust fund that had allowed me to attend college. Except for having to live with Jane and….No, I wasn't going to wander down that road not today.

I pulled into the parking lot right alongside Fred's Acura. As I opened the door I could see that Jessica was already giggling and making doe eyes at the construction workers that were milling around. The concrete had been poured and I wondered how long before they could begin the frame work. I would imagine it was on the same idea as building a house right? It was going to be a very cool experience to watch this structure be built step by step. Fred encouraged us to stop by as often as we liked. I know I was going to plan to swing by on weekends. _Yes, I wanted to keep a low profile._

"Bella, Bella Swan?" A voice was calling out to me and it sounded vaguely familiar.

I turned to where the voice was coming from and saw a tall and well-built man coming my way. Wait, was that Jacob? Jacob Black? I had not seen Jake since I graduated from Peninsula. We had been good friends during college, only friends even though early on Jacob had wanted more. He figured out quickly that I just wasn't interested in him that way. But he was a good guy and I remember we had shared some great times together on campus**.**

"Jake? Jake is that you?" I started walking towards him as he quickly met me halfway and picked me up spinning me around.

"Hey Bells! God, it's been what three years or something?" Jacob released me but only to the ground before grabbing me into a bear hug and swaying me back and forth.

"Jake, careful, I am going to lose the little I had for lunch." I laughed but squeezed him back hard.

It really was so good to see him. He had always made me feel safe. Besides Angela, Jake had a small inkling of my past and had been my protector during our college years. He had dark hair that looked almost black and very deep brown eyes. He had great teeth, the straightest I had even seen. And it pissed me off because he never had braces. Me? I had to wear braces for two years! God, it was so good to see him. I don't know why we lost touch. I know that after we graduated he decided to head out East for a bit and travel. I envied him. I wish I had the plucks to pack up and let the road take me on a journey. I would get a post card every few months documenting his journey. But for some reason about a year ago they stopped.

"Bells, what the hell are you doing here?" That smile would blind anyone.

"I work for Wolf Ski & Snowboard." I responded with my own bright smile.

"No shit! Fuck, Bella how long has it been?" He raked over my body but not in a sensual way but rather noticing that I had grown up.

"Let's see. I think the last time we saw each other was just before you left to live the life of a hobo."

"Hobo, yeah well at times I think I felt like one." He still had that boyish face about him.

From behind me I heard another familiar voice. Suddenly the air around me was charged with that same electrical current that was synonymous with the presence of one Edward Cullen. One time I would consider it an anomaly, twice coincidence, maybe. But this was the third time I was in contact with this man and again I was effected. What freaked me out a bit more was the fact that he had not even approached me, had not even touched me? What was this? It was as if I was living one of the Harlequin romances, minus the romance. But all kidding aside, this was troubling to me.

Jacob cleared his throat and brought me back to Earth. "Hey, you okay?" He turned his head to look behind him.

_Oh crap! _The last thing I needed was for Jake to witness my reaction to Edward. I took a deep breath and turned my attention back to our conversation.

"Jake, uh…what are you doing here?" _Duh, Bella! _Jake was wearing an E & E t-shirt, jeans, work books and hard hat. Of course he worked for Edward & Emmett. _Shit…_

"Well Bells, I'm the construction crew foreman." He was smirking. Damn, did he pick up on my reaction to Edward? Of course he did. _Idiot! _ One thing Jacob was very good at and that was attention to detail. He didn't miss a thing and of course he was going to pick me apart.

"Really, how long have been working for E & E?" To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I know that Jacob had worked in construction before. In fact that was how he managed to pay his way through college. I just didn't think he would go back to that after earning his degree in criminal justice.

"I'd say about eight months now. Not what you expected huh Bells?" Like I said he didn't miss a beat.

"No, I mean you worked so hard for that degree. I just thought you would have pursued something in your field." It might have been a few years since we saw one another but I still felt like we were friends. So why not speak my mind.

"After traveling for a bit I did manage to get a job out in Boston. I was a clerk for a district court in one of the suburbs. The suit and following protocol just didn't seem to excite me." He looked at me as if I was disappointed in what he was telling me.

"So construction work does?" I laughed a bit too loud and felt Edward's eyes on me. I immediately apologized to Jake. I certainly didn't intend to make him feel his current profession wasn't satisfying and I wasn't trying to belittle him.

"It's okay Bells. Listen, we have lots to catch up on. Do you think we could maybe grab coffee or better yet maybe dinner tonight?"

"I think I would like that. I don't finish work until 5:00 and I have to head home first to feed my cats. I bet it's been a while since you had a home cooked meal. Would you rather come by the house for dinner instead?" I heard something drop behind me. As I turned around I noticed Edward picking up his briefcase that must have slipped his grasp and hit the ground.

"Fuck yeah! I remember you were quite a cook Bella. I would love that. You're still living at the house?"

"Yup, still there." It was home and as crazy as it sounded I could feel my Mom and Dad there. I know I barely remember them if at all because they died when I was so young. However that house was my last link to them. I felt at ease there and loved. Once upon a time that house had been filled with so much warmth and belonging. Sometimes I would close my eyes in the kitchen and could barely make out my mother. I think my cooking skills or at least my love for it came from her. I remember cupcakes and cookies cooling on racks… _Stop! _I felt the burn forming at the back of my eyes; before the tears spilled I redirected my thoughts.

"How does 7:00 sound to you?" I blinked back several times to dry up the tears that threatened.

"Sounds great Bella, I better get back to work." Jacob starting walking towards Edward then turned around walking backwards and shouted. "Bells, see you tonight!"

I couldn't help but catch Edward's stare, after all Jacob had to walk by him. And why he felt the need to announce to everyone in the immediate area that he was seeing me tonight left me scratching my head. The expression on Edward's face seemed to be a mixture of anger and annoyance with a splash of indifference. The most plausible explanation was that Jake had taken time out of his work day to speak with me when he was on company time. What else would it be? This was one of those times I wished I possessed a special power, for instance reading minds. I wanted in his head so badly at this moment to see what was running through it. I am sure it had very little to do to with me and more to do with the job and that Jake needed to get his ass back to work. Interrupting my chain of thought was my boss.

"Bella! Hey, come on over." He motioned with his hand to urge me to where he was standing. Just perfect, he was with Edward and his brother Emmett. Well Emmett at least looked pleased seeing me walk up to them.

"Bella, it's nice to see you again!" Emmett gave me a smile which I assumed he was famous for and extended his hand towards mine.

"Emmett, thank you. How are you?" I shook his hand firmly as it nearly disappeared in his. Man he was a big guy.

I felt his eyes on me again. You know who. _Edward!_ The green eyed monster! At least it was how I had envisioned him a moment ago. I decided to muster up some courage and break the ice and turned to Edward to say hello.

"Hello Edward." My voice was clear and strong. Not one crack. I thought for sure I wouldn't get the syllables out but I did. _Just take a deep breath._

"Miss _Swan._" He made a point of accentuating my last name which made me feel awkward having called him by his given name. He didn't even offer to shake my hand; he gave me a curt nod as he excused himself and walked closer to the building site.

This had been such a contrast compared to our last two meetings. Where those had left me feeling somewhat captivated by his aura, today I was feeling as if I had wronged him somehow. I was sure that this was completely my imagination. The most probable explanation for his behavior was his life size Barbie doll. Perhaps she gave him some shit for picking up my napkin last Monday night. Maybe she was angry that he had not introduced us. It's not as if I had bothered to do the same. It wouldn't have been such a shocker to learn that she was jealous. I could totally understand if she was. Not that there was any reason to be jealous of me. Seriously in what universe could I even compete with Miss Marilyn Monroe of the 21st century? Everything about her oozed confidence from the way she dressed to how she swayed her hips as she sauntered across the room. There was no doubt in my mind that woman made every man's head turn with the allure of her sexual charms. Some women just had it all and the fact that she was with Edward was just textbook. I had a stomach ache picturing them together at dinners and social functions. Elegance and grace were definitely part of her vocabulary. There were days I couldn't get out of my own way. I would trip over imaginary obstacles. Why was I obsessing over this? _Is it because you have a small crush?_

Emmett gave us a small tour around the site but not before he insisted we all wear hard hats. I thought it was a little silly considering no framework had begun, but according to safety requirements it was mandatory. I must have looked like a dork with that yellow helmet on top of my head. I cringed knowing that Edward was with us as his brother explained what had been done so far. I hoped that I wasn't going to be quizzed on this at a later date because my interest in what he was saying had waned. I still was questioning Edward's coolness towards me. I didn't know him well enough to ask him if he was okay. That would be most definitely unprofessional. We didn't have any type of relationship.

Emmett continued to detail various points of interests. I was finding it challenging because Edward looked so damn hot. In the previous times I had seen him he was dressed in business attire. Nice slacks, dress shirt and very expensive dress shoes. I don't normally swear often. I do occasionally when something really either ticks me off or there is no other word that best describes the moment. This was one of them. He looked _fucking_ amazing. He was wearing a blue and red plaid shirt along with a pair of faded jeans that hung off his hips just the right way. I didn't have a lot of experience in the men department but I did know what worked and what didn't. This so worked. And damn if those jeans were not torn. There was one tear over his right knee and one on his backside by the pocket which gave me a small glimpse of his underwear. Boxers or briefs, suddenly I wanted to find out. To top it off he was wearing some very cool looking black boots that for some reason elevated my temperature. His wild hair had been tamed only because of the hard hat he was wearing. My heart pounded being in his presence.

Although I did my best to keep my interest at bay, he on the other hand hadn't bothered to spare me another look. Whatever, he was upset about something. It wasn't me, even if for some strange feeling I sensed that maybe it was. I disregarded the notion again. I didn't say or do anything that was either stupid or offensive. Do guys have their own personal time of the month? Which reminded me, I needed to let Fred know I would be in late on Monday. I had scheduled an appointment with Angela's OB/GYN, Victoria Mills for 8:00 AM. I was not looking forward to it. I wasn't sure if I was going to handle the exam without freaking out too much. Angela promised to go with me. I felt like such a baby having to have her hold my hand through this. Fear of the unknown can paralyze you. I would not back out; I needed to get on the pill to even out my cycle. Maybe this would be good thing in more ways than one.

We lingered at the site for nearly an hour when we wrapped things up. Funny, I had thought perhaps I would be the one to exit early in the event I couldn't handle being so close to Edward. It turned out that he left. I would have liked to say that I was relieved when he did but I would be lying. I wanted to know what it was that had upset him. It bothered me that the man I had met earlier in the week didn't remotely resemble the one that I saw this afternoon. He was borderline rude without having really said much of anything. I hated that he had not used my first name, I hated that he had not bothered to want to greet me in the way he had at our first meeting. I wanted to feel his hand in mine again. This time, the electrical current battered my body without the need of his touch. I didn't understand what that meant. How does a man affect you this way? Why was the pit of my stomach fluttering? These were the moments that I wish I had my mother, or Aunt Jane.

_**~~SyP~~**_

"Bells, when did you get cats?"

Jacob was sitting in the living room on the sofa while I was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the salad.

"Why? You don't like cats?" I asked hoping he wasn't going to make some stupid reference about being a single woman who only had cats for companionship.

"Never said I didn't like cats, never knew you did."

"I am animal lover. I have even thought about getting a dog."

"No shit. You have a breed in mind?" It was easy to talk to Jake. It was simple as breathing. I know freshman year he had made a play for me. He figured out that friendship was going to be the only relationship we could have. He never pressured to ask and I never really volunteered. Jake as I said was very perceptive. He knew somewhere along the way I must have had some bad experience. Maybe one day I would open up to him.

"I would love to rescue a dog. I have been thinking about putting in an application with Olympic Peninsula Golden Retriever Rescue. They are such a beautiful breed, very gentle. I have to think about my cats of course. But I am just thinking about it. I have not really decided one way or another. Hey come on in the kitchen dinner is ready."

We sat at the kitchen table while Jake devoured the meatloaf along with the mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. It did my heart good to see someone appreciate my cooking. I cooked for myself but there was nothing better than sharing a meal with another person. I mean going out to dinner was great. I did it often with Angela and Ben. But I loved to cook. It had been a while since I was able to put together a whole meal from salad to dessert for someone other than myself. Even that wasn't very often. Having Jake here made me realize that I had missed our friendship. It was good to see him again.

"So Bella, what's with you and Edward Cullen?" And there it was.

"What?"

"Did I stutter?" _Smart ass._

"Jake, first off there is nothing going on. And second I barely know the man. He just happens to be part owner of the firm that is building our new headquarters." _Just play it cool._

"I see. So why was he pissed." He said muffled as he continued to stuff his face with meatloaf. Jacob wasn't going to drop this. So I guess I needed to make him.

"I have no idea why he was anything. Hey Jake how's your sister Rebecca?" _Good job Bella, change subjects._

He laughed, knowing only too well what I was doing.

"She's doing really well. Becca is an R.N. at Forks Community General. She's been there for about three years now. Married to a really nice guy named Paul and have a one year old son named Timothy."

"No kidding! That's awesome Jake! So you're an uncle? That's just so cool!" I was genuinely happy for Rebecca. Jake's sister was a real sweetheart.

"Yup, and I love to spoil my nephew. It pisses Becca off but that's my right as an uncle as I see it."

"Awww, Uncle Jake. I bet you get him all jacked up then leave having your sister and brother-in-law to deal with the fall out." Jake was nodding his head even before I finished my thought.

"Hey Bells? His tone took a turn to more of a serious nature.

"Yes."

"The hospital is having a benefit in couple of weeks. Rebecca has begged me to go. You know show support and all that. Well, I was kind of hoping now that we have connected again, that you might like to go with me?" I took a swallow of my iced tea as I met his eyes across the table.

"Now before you go down that road, no. Not as a date, _date, _but as friends. I told her I would go. You know I love my sister but it's going to be pretty boring just hanging out by myself. This is a big thing for Becca and I don't want to be like a fifth wheel."

"I hardly think you would be a fifth wheel. If I remember correctly you had no problem when it came to the female population." I chuckled pushing my fork around my plate.

"Yeah, and if memory serves me right there was one that didn't seem to fall under my spell." He looked a little forlorn.

"Jake….are we really going there? After all this time?" Not this conversation again.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up. We're friends. And I am cool with that. So what you say? Will you go with me? We could do more catching up?"

I had a feeling I was going to regret this. Those big brown eyes of his and that bright smile made it nearly impossible to say no to him. What the hell. I had not been out to a fancy social event in I don't know how long. I think it was my semi-formal junior year in college. Come to think of it, Jake had taken me. Fast forward four years later, some things didn't change. Only problem, I needed to get something suitable to wear.

"Okay, Jake. I'll go."

**A/N: Are you guys still with me? Let me hear from you. What do you think about Jake entering the picture? :) Thanks to all of you who have been reading...give me some feedback. xo**

**To Jlyn and DennaRose...xoxoxoxo**


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.

Chapter 8

**Edward's POV**

_Laughing chocolate eyes flashed in my head as I slipped into a semi-conscious state. Long brown hair wrapped around my fingers that felt like the most expensive silk known to mankind. I inhaled deeply taking in the scent of her clean fresh bouquet. She was perfect. She was more than perfect. Her body molded against mine as if she was made for me and only me. I brushed my lips across hers feeling the softness as she sighed. Taking my tongue I urged her mouth open and was granted access. Our tongues met fiercely, dueling in need and desperation. I knew she would taste like this. Sweeter than candy that made my mouth water for more. I couldn't resist as I bit her bottom lip as I made my way down to her neck. If my body responded this way to just her kiss I could only imagine what it would be like once I got inside her. I was hard and my need for her was teetering on the edge of losing total control_. _She knew exactly what I needed; it was as if she could read my thoughts. I felt her hand move down and grasp me, a cross between gentle and rough. The perfect balance of pleasure and pain. God, she was the sexiest little thing I had ever encountered. Slowly her mouth peppered kisses along my collar bone, my chest making sure to suck both my nipples as she continued her journey to where I wanted her mouth the most…._

_Jesus Christ!_

I jolted up in bed wiping the sweat that was dripping down the side of my face. What the fuck was that? _A dream dickhead! _ But not just any dream. Again I dreamt of her when I finally fell asleep. What was this now, three times or four? All I knew that since Monday night I had no control over these erotic fantasies about Bella. So fucking hot that each time I woke up I was so hard, like a steel pipe and in pain that I had to find relief. I jerked off and came in a matter of seconds but fuck if I wasn't hard again. In the years since I hit puberty I had never masturbated as much I had since Bella entered the picture. A girl I had only met a couple of times. This was insane. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. 5:00 AM. My ass was going to be dragging today. Thank Christ it was Friday. I planned on an early day and then do absolutely nothing this weekend but catch up on sleep. I needed to be at the Wolf building site this morning. The beginning phase of construction was under way and I wanted to go over a few things with Emmett.

Hot streams of water pelted my back as I held myself under the shower head. I stretched my arms and moved my neck back and forth. Fuck I was tired and my body felt like it had just finished an iron man triathlon. I guess sleep deprivation can really fuck you up and fuck you up good. I didn't get why Bella Swan was occupying my mind so much. Shit, if it wasn't during the day she was now invading my thoughts at night. This shit was just too fucked up. I was frustrated. I could whack off three times a day and I still felt like I was going to explode if I didn't have her. I was more than frustrated. Besides my physical needs, it was my head that was ready to burst as well. I felt the need to vent to someone, but whom? Emmett? _I don't think so. _Jasper, maybe but he was up to his ass in wedding plans. Alice didn't give him a chance to breathe. Never mind my baby sister either. She would be concocting some shit theory about meeting my destiny. I couldn't talk to my mother about this without it turning into something about Bella being the _one. _ I could maybe talk to my dad but how would I even approach this with him? We hadn't had a talk about girls since I was teenager.

_Fuck I was so screwed. _

I made a pot of coffee and drank it all except for maybe a half a cup. Caffeine wasn't the answer but at least it would help me get one foot in front of the other. I had a bowl of cereal just to have something in my stomach. I didn't need to be fucked up on caffeine overload. The last thing I needed was to be jittery like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. _What shit is that and where did it come from? _ I was more tired than I thought. I sounded like Larry the Cable Guy! If I didn't get any sleep tonight I was going to talk to my father about maybe prescribing me something. Or maybe smoking a little weed might help; I hadn't done that since college. I didn't, nor had I ever abused drugs apart from pot. I never really considered that hardcore.

The house was a mess but at least it was Friday. Mrs. Cope would be here to clean it from top to bottom and get the groceries. It wasn't that I couldn't do this shit, I could. And I did. The schedule I had sometimes had me away for days at a time so it was worth the money I paid her to keep the house in order and the refrigerator and kitchen pantry stocked. She was a great lady. Sheila, as she liked to be called, had been in the housekeeping business for years. She started off just as a solo act. But as time went on and word of mouth spread she built a business where she now employed at least a dozen housekeepers. She didn't need to keep cleaning houses since she had the business to run but she had become quite attached to the Cullen family. In fact we were the only account she handled directly.

**_~~SyP~~_**

September 21st and weather wise for the month of September, it was one of the best we had seen in quite some time. Actually, this month typically had some really great weather but the last few years had brought more rain than usual. So early in the morning and it already felt warm. It was a welcome return…no doubt it was going to be a beautiful day.

Drafting and designing were what I loved about my job but the other big plus was being able to be outdoors and not stuck behind a desk all day long. There were days that I would do just that but I felt fucking lucky that it was a small percentage of my time. I would go ape shit if I had to go to the office every fucking day. No one wanted to be around Edward Cullen when he felt like a caged animal. Least of all my assistant, Leah. It wasn't that I treated her poorly, that fact of the matter even I would admit - I could be one huge pain in the ass. I would be constantly bugging her over some shit. Being out of the office in many ways was a relief for her. Leah was really good at her job, and the last thing I wanted was for her to quit because I was being a dick.

The drive to the building site was quick and easy. I wanted to turn my mind off and stop thinking about, well what else Little Miss Swan. So as soon I got in to the SUV I turned the radio on. It was one of the best ways to quiet my thoughts. But they would not be silenced.

I was anxious and confused. I didn't understand this anxiety which totally baffled the fuck out of me. I felt like a high school boy with his first crush on a girl. _Yeah, Edward Cullen has a crush!_ Well whatever this shit was I needed to get a handle on it. She had a boyfriend right? All indications pointed in that direction. I wonder how serious it was. I didn't notice a ring, not that that meant anything. What the fuck? I had never lusted after a girl the way I was lusting after Bella. Maybe if I just got a taste of her it would satisfy the hunger threatening my sanity. One problem, she had a fucking dickhead _boyfriend!_

I pulled into the lot and quickly found Emmett surveying the morning activity.

"Emmett, hey man what's up." I walked up to my brother who was observing the work crew.

"Hey bro, glad you remembered to be here." He slapped me on the back. _The fucker._

"How's Rosalie feeling?" I knew that she had been dealing with some nasty morning sickness. Rosalie had a bad ass attitude when she was healthy; now that she was pregnant multiply that by one hundred. I loved to give my brother shit, but what Rosalie was putting him through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

_Well maybe my worst enemy._

"Fuck, she's still sick as a dog. It's not just the mornings. It's every fucking minute of the day. The slightest smell makes her want to puke. You know how much I love bacon. I fucking love it. Since she got pregnant she can't even look at it. You know what that means bro? No fucking bacon in the house. What the fuck!" I didn't want to laugh but I couldn't help it. This was as big deal to him.

"You know Emmett there are worse things in life. I might not be Rosalie's number one fan but come on man, cut her some slack. She's carrying your kid. Suck it up." I winked.

"Yeah well most women are hornier during pregnancy. Fuck my wife won't even give me blow job…" I cut him right off.

"Stop that shit right there. Not another word. I don't need to know about your sex life. Fuck, now I want to throw up." I would have teased him more but God only knows what else he was going to share. Rolling my eyes I walked over to building site, Emmett following close at my heels.

Wanting to change the subject, I asked if Jake had arrived. Jacob Black was the foreman for the construction crew. He had been with us almost a year, a hard worker who never gave us any shit. In this business, keeping good help was hard to come by. We had our share of guys who blew their paycheck on booze or drugs. Those were the guys you couldn't depend on. Not Jake, he was dependable and was good at his job.

"He was here before I arrived." Like I said dependable and did I say punctual?

"Cool, looks like everything went according to plan. We should be able to start framing next week."

"I think so. We have everything lined up. Let's just hope we have a full crew. The Davis build was fucking painful." Emmett replied scratching his head.

"That's because we had a few guys who liked to party too hard. I can remember we were guilty of the same thing." I chuckled. Some of the guys hired were young, therefore immature. That nearly always led to making some stupid choices.

"Not anymore, bro. Well not me. Rosalie would have my balls in a sling if I got fucked up like we used to." Before Emmett got married, shit even before he met Rosalie we would hit the bars. Don't get me started on the shit we did when we were at UW.

"Those days are long gone, well at least for you. Do you ever miss it?"

"Miss getting hammered and puking all over my shoes? Not remembering what the fuck I did the night before? Waking up with some chick that looked hell of a lot hotter the night before? Fuck yeah!" He was busting on me.

""Come on Emmett. Seriously, don't you miss being single?" I wasn't sure why I was going down this road, but I was on it so I wanted to see where it led.

"What's this all about Edward?" He gleamed at me inquisitively.

I hesitated a moment. Emmett was a smart guy. He might be a bone head at times and act like an ass but he was slick. He could poke holes through a story if he sensed things didn't add up. The fucker was dead on when it came to evaluating situations. It was one of the things I admired about him. But it was also one of the characteristics that I loathed too. You could say he got that from our father. Carlisle Cullen could see through any half lame cock bullshit tale. Emmett and I could never keep anything from him. I swear to God Carlisle had a built in lie detector.

"Can't a guy have a heart to heart with his big brother?" Emmett was going to call bullshit. I could see it coming a mile away.

"Fuck, no. You haven't had a heart to heart with me since sophomore year in high school when you thought you knocked up Tracy Madison."

Did I know my brother or what? And fuck Tracy Madison! That was as memory best stowed away in the attic of my mind. I'll never forget Emmett sitting me down and giving me the lecture on safe sex. It's not like Dad had not given it, repeatedly by the way. But my big brother took his role seriously. Fuck if he didn't scare the shit out of me about not only unwanted pregnancy but sexually transmitted diseases. The image he painted of my dick falling off still made me cringe. I was quite fond of my dick, after that experience, I never had sex unless it was wrapped.

"Emmett, it's nothing really. I was just wondering since you have a kid coming and your life will be changing even more. I've heard sometimes guys can't handle the responsibility." Actually I think what I said made sense. I knew some guys from college who got married right after graduation, had a kid or two then struggled. In fact one or two of them were not even thirty yet and divorced. Fuck I would rather remain single then go through that shit.

"Little brother here's the deal. When the right girl comes into your life anything before doesn't matter anymore. What I mean is, going out with the guys, getting hammered, wanting to fuck anything with a pulse, it doesn't matter. You put your needs last because hers are what matter more. You want her happiness above all else. It's not always perfect; the road can be rocky. It's not what you read in romance novels. And no, I don't read that shit but you get what I'm saying. I wouldn't trade one night with my Rosie for week of drunken stupors."

Who the fuck knew that Emmett Cullen was a philosopher and romantic?

_**~~SyP~~**_

After having a quick sandwich off the canteen truck, which sucked by the way, I left the trailer. The sun was warm and there were very few clouds in the sky. It was really a perfect day. I took a quick scan around the area making mental notes of the progress made so far. From the corner of my eye I spotted a familiar brunette.

_Fuck me Bella Swan. _

It was the first time I had ever seen her outdoors. I already thought her beauty was something to behold, but nothing prepared me for the sight of her in the sunlight. Her hair was gently swaying in the light breeze which she was wearing down today. With the sun shining down on her I could see shades of russet and auburn streaking that gorgeous mane of hers. I wondered if her hair would feel as silky as it had in my dreams. Her face was a vision of purity almost angelic like. She was perfect. Too perfect for me but that didn't make me want her any less. She was in a pair of jeans that fit her fucking curves like a second skin. _Shit!_ Her tits, I couldn't resist but refer to them using my favorite adjective. Why? I felt as if I knew them after all my dreams starring the elusive Isabella Swan. Perky, not large but not small either. They were the right size that I had no doubt would feel like heaven in my hands. My mouth longed to suck on her nipples. And I knew those areolas were a dusky pink, fuck I was hard thinking about what my tongue would do to them.

My impure thoughts were rudely interrupted when I heard someone call out to her.

_What the fuck. _

Jacob Black?

Bella knew Jake? By the looks of it they seemed to be well acquainted. She wrapped her arms around him as he swung her up and held her tightly. He fucking twirled her around. It made my fucking head spin. So what was up with this chick? Monday night she was having dinner with some blonde douche and now she was all over Jake. The portrait of her that I had stowed away in my dreams all of sudden was beginning to tarnish. Apparently this chick liked to play the field. _Oh like you don't Cullen? _Shut up! I just had a whole different Bella in my head. Something about her screamed meek and innocence. Then again women like her did exist. A face like an angel but when you got them behind closed doors they would fuck your brains out. Why this upset me I had no idea. Why was I so pissed that Jake had some claim to this girl? Why did I give a fuck? _You like her and you still want her. _Did I? It's not like the other women I had been with didn't have histories. Bella just struck me as being different. Could I have been wrong about her?

In my earshot I heard Jacob tell Bella he would see her tonight.

My day was getting better and better!

Fuck, it annoyed the shit out of me that she was going out with Jake tonight. It shouldn't. I had not hold over this girl. Yet at this moment I would have loved to wipe that smile off Jake's face. I liked the guy, I really did. Now I saw him as the enemy, my competition. Jesus, how can one small slip of a girl fuck with me without fucking me? _I wasn't making any sense._

I kept my distance from Bella. She said hello and I nodded and used her formal name. She gave me a curious look. I am sure she wondered what was up my ass and why had I reverted back to calling her Miss Swan. I hated that she affected me in a way that left my emotions in a jumbled mess. I hated that _again_ I was envious of another man who knew her intimately. I just hated her. _Right. _I wasn't behaving any better than a child. Pouting and stomping around because I wanted my favorite toy and I couldn't have it. I needed to stop acting like a total douche bag. Bella had not fucking clue that I was attracted to her. _Grow up Cullen!_

I stuck around while Emmett gave Fred, Bella and the others from Wolf's, who came out today, a quick tour and briefing. Before I made a further ass of myself I decided to take the afternoon off. After a brief word with Emmett, I high tailed it like a bat out of hell. I felt like a dick for acting the way I had. She must have thought I was one moody son of a bitch. If I was trying to score any points with her, today was a big fat zero.

I was driving back out onto the main road when I began to breathe a little easier. My fingers were still wrapped around the steering wheel tightly as I drove aimlessly until I decided where I should go. I pulled into the large circular drive which abutted the impressive home. My parents' house was large, it was more than large. I guess you could say it was rather stately. A multi-level residence featuring an abundance of windows giving the house such a light and airy feel to it. Although the size was on the grand scale it was still so very homey. I sounded like such a pussy. But I loved this house even if I had only resided here for a few years. I had spent four years at UV, came home on weekends. By the time I graduated I moved back home and stayed until I was twenty four. It was then I decided I needed my own place. I wondered if Alice would be here too. She still lived at home currently working at a posh boutique in Port Angeles as a fashion buyer. _Don't even ask._

The foyer was spacious and so bright. Esme had done most of the decorating. She had quite a knack for it. Tasteful pieces of art and sculpture adorned each room. My mother had exquisite taste. She loved to joke that it all started when she met my father and us kids. We were works of arts in her eyes which gave her inspiration. _Did I tell you how much I loved my mother?_

"Mom!" I called out although I knew I would either find her in the kitchen or in her study. Esme loved to cook. She was a fucking amazing cook. I would come over a few times a week just to have her home cooking. If I ever got married I hoped my wife would be almost as good a cook as my mother. If not I was no slouch in the kitchen. I learned from the best. _Yeah, I love to cook so fucking sue me._

"Edward!" My mother came rushing out from the kitchen and wrapped me in her arms. "I didn't know you were stopping by. God, my hair is a mess, oh just look at me!" Apparently Esme was in the middle of some culinary delight. Her hair was sprinkled with flour and her apron was sprayed with that and some orange shit. She looked beautiful regardless.

"Mom, you are one beautiful mess." I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Esme had one of the best laughs I had ever heard. It was a sweet and lyrical. It reached up into her eyes. Those same eyes had captivated me from the very first time I saw her. I was just a child; I think five at the time. But I remembered how warm they were. It was the kindness in them, how they would light up when she smiled and laughed. They were such a beautiful shade of caramel. So different, I had never seen anything like them. They complimented her hair which was a hint darker than her eyes. Where she was light the woman who had given birth to me was dark. I guess in more ways than one. I fucking hated it that my coloring came from her. My hair and eyes resembled that bitch. That's where the similarity ended thank fuck. I wanted to be nothing like her. I hoped I would never be anything like her. Even after all these years, even after the love my father and Esme showered on us I still felt the hatred. That she could have written us off so easily was still something I could and never would comprehend.

"Edward, you certainly have you father's charm." Esme brushed her hand over her hair in an attempt to make it look presentable.

"Stop it Mom. You look amazing. Just what the fuck are you doing in the kitchen?"

"Language Edward! You know you are not too old for a swat on the ass." She turned around and walked back into the kitchen.

"Funny, mother. I think the last time you swatted my ass I was nine, after I mangled one of Alice's favorite dolls." I laughed at the memory, although at the time my baby sister was devastated. I was such a little shit when I was a kid. I guess I was still acting out my aggression.

"Poor Alice, she cried for a week solid. But if I remember after your spanking you did apologize to your sister. You even made it up to her by buying her a new doll from your allowance." She gave me that sweet smile again.

"What can I say? I couldn't handle listening to her crying." I still couldn't. She was my baby sister. That was the last time I had ever made her cry. I made it my mission going forward no one would hurt her. Talk to some of the boys that Alice had dated. If one of them even made her sniffle I would fuck them up. Jasper included. I am an overprotective brother. Fuck I was just overprotective of anyone who was special to me. _Would that extend to Bella Swan? _Shut up.

"So dear what brings you here in the middle of the afternoon? Not that I am complaining mind you. I love having my son stop by." She had a sixth sense as well, did I mention that?

"Nothing, I was just in the neighborhood. I finished early today. I thought maybe my mother had something for my sweet tooth." I eyed the countertops in search of my prey.

I did have sweet tooth, anything chocolate and any kind of cake or pie. It's a wonder I wasn't sporting a pot belly. I think I had inherited my metabolism from my father. I could eat what I wanted and with very little effort keep the weight off. I did hit the gym a few times a week and did enjoy a good run. I use to run in the mornings but lately I'd taken to running later, closer to dusk. Whatever I could to tire me out so I could sleep.

Mom laughed and nodded towards the oven. "I do have a carrot cake in the oven. Unfortunately sweetie that will need to cool but I did make a batch of brownies this morning."

I watched her make her way to the other side of the kitchen by the refrigerator. Sitting on top of the counter were said brownies. I was already thinking how a couple three of those would be nice with a big glass of milk. My mother could anticipate my needs because before I knew it she had a glass in hand pouring the milk. She ushered me to sit at the kitchen table as I began to devour my afternoon snack.

"Fuck, these are so good. No wonder Dad married you." I winked at her.

"So tell me Edward. How did things go with Tanya? The last time we spoke you were calling it quits." Esme was eyeing me with that curious glint in her eye.

I swallowed my last bite of the brownie and finished the milk before I even wanted to answer her. Hell, I really didn't want to rehash the Tanya bullshit.

She waited patiently; Esme was many things one of which was patient. It was a good thing but in times like this it was fucking bad.

"Ah, it went as well as you think it would go. She was pissed, called me a fucking an asshole. But I managed to leave unscathed."

"You know Edward one of these days you are going to meet a girl who will make you reconsider how you view relationships. I hope it's soon. No good can come out of dating with a revolving door." Then she gave me that smile that she had for me and only me when she was attempting to make a point.

_Oh fuck, here we go. Now why did I think it was a good idea to come here? _

_**~~SyP~~**_

My cell buzzed. I had a text message from Emmett. Christ what was it now?

_**Bro, you dropped your iPod at the site. – Emmett**_

Did I? I didn't think I had taken it out of my car. It was nearing four o'clock. Emmett was still over at the construction site.

_**Ok, will swing by to pick it up. – Edward**_

I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. As I pulled out of my parent's drive way I made my trek over to meet Emmett and grab my iPod. Looking right before I turned onto the road, I noticed my iPod lying on the passenger seat. Shit. Okay, so if mine was here, then whose was at the site? Fuck it. I decided to head over anyways. With any luck we might be able to figure out who owned the one that Emmett found. I had to assume he already asked the guys but who the fuck knows. Other than the work crew and the canteen truck, the only others there were some of the staff from Wolf's. One of them must have dropped it by accident.

I walked over to the trailer and opened the door to let myself in. Emmett was sitting behind one of the desks, on his cell phone.

"Babe, settle down. Of course you are going to gain weight. You're pregnant."

Emmett rolled his eyes at me as he continued talking to Rosalie. At least I thought it was Rosalie. I was being a dumb ass. Of course it was her. I smiled and winked at him.

"Rosie, I will be leaving in a few minutes. When I get home I will give you a nice massage."

I could hear Rosalie loud and clear from where I was standing. Fuck she was in a pissy mood. What is else is new. Poor bastard. I don't know how Emmett did it. But if anyone deserved saint hood my brother did.

"Fuck man. She's only three months along, what the fuck is she going to be like when she's farther along?" Emmett had this glazed look on his face, as if he had been sucker punched.

"Emm, I have no experience with pregnant women. But from what I have been told from friends of mine, who went through it, just nod and agree. Everything is going to be your fault. Better develop a thick skin bro, and be prepared for her to unleash her bad ass on you when it's time to deliver." One thing I knew for sure I was going to stay clear of the delivery room when Rosalie went into labor. Collateral damage was something I had no interest in being.

Emmett got up from his chair and stretched as he put his phone back in his pocket.

"So Emm, where's the iPod you found?"

"Hold on, I put it here inside." He motioned to the desk drawer. "I bet you're psyched I found it huh?" I reached out to take the iPod from his hand.

"Actually I have mine. Not sure who this one belongs to. But we'll find out soon enough."

Well I hoped we would. I turned the device on. It took a few seconds for it to power on. Once the display appeared my eyes were focused on the one word I was hoping I would see there. The one name I wanted to see. Fuck if this wasn't Bella's iPod. I broke out in a huge grin.

"Okay asshole what's the smirk for?" Emmett glanced at me then at the device in my hand.

"It's Bella's."

My day just got fucking better!

**A/N: Thanks for reading...any comments? New followers welcome! To Jlyn & DennaRose you make me smile! xoxoxoxo**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made; only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 9

**Bella's POV**

Sitting in a waiting room in a doctor's office was one thing that always put me on edge. I didn't like going to the doctor, I guess not many people do. I forced myself to make my yearly appointment for my physical. However this one was long overdue. The last time I had been to an OB/GYN, let's just say it had been years. Memories I cared to leave just as that.

"Miss Swan?" A young woman with pale blonde hair holding a clip board surveyed the waiting room.

"Um, that's me." I replied quickly. My heart was beating out of my chest. God why was I so nervous. This was just an exam. I need to get on the pill which will help to regulate me. Just relax. Angela had offered to come with me to give me moral support. Any normal young woman would be able to do this without having to hold on to her best friend's hand. _What was normal anyways? _It sure wasn't me. I decided that I was a big girl now. I could handle this. I mean what was the worst thing that could happen? _Have a panic attack?_

I was led into an exam room and asked to remove all my clothing and put on a thin cotton "Johnny." I often wondered who thought of that term. I had to guess it was a man. Who else would come up with some article of clothing that left your ass completely open to the viewing public? My mind wanted to concentrate on anything that wasn't centered on me naked and sitting on a metal table. As much as a tried I couldn't help but swing my legs back and forth. There was a knock on the door asking if it was okay to enter.

"Yes." I answered watching the door open. It was the same woman who had called my name out in the waiting room.

She was a tall woman, probably in her late twenties her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail with vibrant blue eyes. Her name tag read "Kate." She had wheeled in a cart that appeared to contain a blood pressure kit and a few other items.

"Hello Isabella. How are you feeling today?" She was pleasant enough but my nervousness didn't allow me to want to exchange pleasantries.

"Fine, thank you." That was quick and to the point.

"That's good to hear. If you don't mind getting up from the table for a moment I would like to get a weight on you."

Oh great, I had not weighed myself in a while. I know I had probably put on a few pounds from indulging in ice cream on regular basis over the last couple of months. I did this off and on. I had a feeling I would be going off as soon as I saw the number.

"One hundred and twenty five, okay Isabella hop back up on that table so I can get your other stats."

Ouch, I had put on five pounds. _Crap! _ Well that made my decision for me. I was on ice cream hiatus until further notice. Not only that but I was going to get back to walking. To some five pounds didn't seem like much, but I wasn't a tall person. And if I wasn't careful five pounds could easily turn into ten pounds and then….not going there.

"Kate" took my temperature, pulse and my blood pressure which no surprise to me was a little elevated. "Are you nervous?" She asked while jotting down whatever on to what had to be my chart.

"I guess just a little." I replied in a hushed tone.

"Don't be. Dr. Mills is one of the best in this field. You will love her. She will make you feel comfortable."

Dr. Mills, thank God was a woman. I don't know if I would have been able to get through this if I had selected a male physician. I was told to just sit tight and the doctor would be with me shortly. That's another thing I hated. Doctor's appointments never ran on time. It irritated me that you would be scheduled for a certain time and almost always you would be left sitting in the exam room waiting…and waiting. As much as their time was precious, guess what? So wasn't mine. The reason I made the appointment for first thing in the morning was so I could get to work without missing too much of the day.

After what appeared to be at least fifteen minutes since Kate left another knock was heard. The door opened and this petite woman with dark red hair walked in. She was younger than I had imagined. And she was very pretty with gray eyes.

"Isabella, I am Dr. Mills." She extended her hand and I grasped it firmly. "From what I have read here you are having or have been having issues with your period?"

"Yes. I have been irregular and my flow is normally heavy."

"Are you heavy for the entire time?"

"Yes." _Not fun trust me._

"Okay, well we can do something about that. When was the last time you had an internal?

I had to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. Did I really think that this was one question that would not be asked? Answering it would bring everything back. Memories I had worked so hard to bury but no matter what they would always resurface. I guess that's what happens when you refuse to come to terms with them. Or in my case I had come to terms with them but not in the way that was healthy. Even now I could feel hands…

"Isabella?"

"Oh, um…I was ten." I could have lied. I could have said never.

"Ten? Well you started your period early."

That's where telling the truth stopped. I wasn't going into the reason why I had to be seen by an OB/GYN at that young age considering I didn't actually start my period until I was almost fourteen. I laid down as she asked and closed my eyes as I appealed to my subconscious to take me somewhere far from here. Away from Dr. Mills's poking fingers, the cold metal. She was gentle, and sensing my uneasiness she explained each step of the exam. Still, I felt the burning sensation and I knew I was tensing up. _Just hold your breath. You remember. It will be over soon._

"Alright Isabella, you can sit up now, I'm done with the exam. Everything looks fine and we will send the tissue sample out for the required testing. Your hymen is partially intact." She looked me as if she was waiting for a response from me.

_Damn._

Relax no need to rush in to a full blown panic attack. There could be plenty of reasons why my…. I couldn't even bring myself to say the word. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I could tell my face was heated which meant I was blushing, and blushing profusely.

Dr. Mills didn't push me to respond, not that I felt it was any of her business. I was relieved when she told me to get dressed then meet me in her office to discuss the birth control options.

I had grown up without the benefit of my mother_. _ As I was getting dressed, I realized how much I had missed not having her in my life. Even Aunt Jane…that familiar sting of tears began to threaten.

_Bella get a grasp of your emotions._

Dr. Mills's office was nicely appointed with lots of pictures of babies which I could only assume were those she had delivered. It made me wonder if I could be wrong about her age. Or the simple fact that many women had babies every day. Would my baby be on her wall one day? _My baby? _ I might be inexperienced but I certainly knew what it took to make a baby. I didn't have it.

"If you decide to be sexually active I don't see you having any difficulty." Dr. Mills broke the silence that had shrouded us.

"Um, that's good to know." What else was I going to say? _Don't worry doctor, fact chance of that happening._

Her voice was like white noise as she explained what options were available to me, the importance of practicing safe sex. _Safe sex?_ If you didn't have sex you were safe right? I continued to listen, nodding at all the appropriate pauses.

"Do you have any questions?"

"About the pill, can I start that immediately?"

"Yes, you can. My office will call the prescription in. I am going to start you off with a three month supply. Some women can have some side effects. If so we can adjust levels. "

"Thank you Dr. Mills."

I walked out of the office breathing a huge sigh of relief. God, that went better than I had expected. Seriously what did I think? The Spanish Inquisition? I was just grateful she didn't probe further. Enough time had passed that any evidence of physical trauma had long since healed. The physical pain I had overcome. However what was left in its wake wasn't necessarily as easy to heal.

_**~~SyP~~**_

I made it to work only two hours late. I wasn't happy about that. I would make up the time. I knew Fred would have no issue with that. Dr. Mill's office had called in my prescription and I did pick it up before I got to work. I was going to be working late tonight which meant I would never make it in time to the pharmacy. I felt odd having the pills in my bag. I was probably in the minority of the women who were taking the pill for her cycle instead of preventing pregnancy. _My form of birth control = abstinence. _

My cell buzzed with an incoming text message.

_**Bella, hey how r u? – Jacob**_

_**Fine. How are you? – Bella**_

_**Good, hey u want 2 grab dinner tonite? – Jacob**_

_**Working late, raincheck? – Bella**_

_**Sucks, but sure. – Jacob**_

I had a great time the other night when Jake came to the house for dinner. I wasn't opposed to striking up our friendship again as long as he understood that's all it was. But I was exhausted. I had not been sleeping too well lately and this visit today really put me on edge. What I wanted as soon as I could get out of here was a nice hot bath and my bed.

I had called Angela from the car on my way to the office…she made me promise that I would as soon as I left the doctor's office. She was thrilled to hear that I managed to get through without any incident. I did have my doubts. I have to admit I was rather proud of myself. I knew I would most likely never be comfortable having these exams but I did it.

I had a stack of orders that had been already entered but needed filing. As I walked towards Stacey's desk to have her file them I heard my name called. The voice was familiar.

"Bella!"

I turned my head in the direction of the voice.

Oh God….

Mike Newton. Why was he here? My hope was it had to do with a meeting with our Sales Manager Jack Watkins. The sheer thought of him wanting to ask me out again gave me a stomach ache.

"Hey Mike. How are you?" _Be courteous, he is a customer first and foremost._

"I'm good, thanks. I have a meeting with Jack to go over our needs for the upcoming sales event."

_Yes, thank you Lord. _

"That's great Mike. I will let you get to that meeting."

I was practically home free when I heard him call my name again.

"Bella"

_Crap! _

I turned around to face him. He did have that all American boy look going on. For many girls I am sure they would fall at his feet. He just didn't do it for me.

_Well who does "do it" for you? _ Green eyes came to mind.

"Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner again sometime. I had a really good time last week. You have some pretty cool friends." All the while he was checking me out like I was the latest edition of _Hustler_.

Angela and Ben had been very cool. I felt bad subjecting them to Mike but I couldn't be the bitch regardless that he was a good customer or not. And why did I get the feeling that he already thought last week was a date?

"Oh, dinner? Well I am not sure. The next few weeks are going to be hectic for me."

_Lie through your teeth._

I heard him let out a sigh. I didn't want to feel pressured into saying yes. Could I lie to him and say that I was seeing someone? I mean Jake had come back. Okay so we're friends but Mike didn't have to know that right? I didn't see any harm in it. And last week's chance meeting there wasn't any need for me to have mentioned a boyfriend. But now…well now I had the need. _Sorry Jake but I am going to use you._

"Actually Mike, I can't have dinner. I am sort of dating someone at the moment."

There I said it. It was wrong I know. I didn't think that God would condemn me to hell for a little white lie. It was a partial lie, after all Jake had wanted to be my boyfriend. I think he still did. _Focus Bella!_

"Oh, I didn't realize that." He was deflated. I could hear it in his tone. I did feel some remorse but knowing Mike Newton, (actually I didn't know him that well), he would get over it. Maybe I should introduce him to Jessica…on second thought that wasn't a good idea. He was one of our largest customers. All we needed was Newton's to drop us after an ill-fated affair with that..with Jessica.

"That's fine. How would you know right? Mike, I have to run I have some reports that I need to complete for my boss. "

"No problem. It's was great seeing you. Take care."

"You too."

God, that was so uncomfortable. He's a nice guy but definitely not my type. What was my type? Up until a week ago I would have said I didn't really know. Now if you asked me I had a list.

_**Tall, I mean over six feet tall **_

_**Lean and well-toned**_

_**Wild brown hair with bronze highlights**_

_**Blazing green eyes**_

_**Long fingers**_

_**Perfect profile**_

_**Sideburns that made my fingers itch**_

_**A smile that could melt your heart**_

_**Soft velvet voice**_

My face was blushing I could feel the heat. Here I was sitting at my desk pondering everything that I found attractive about Edward Cullen. And that list was incomplete. There was more I could add to it. Was I insane? _Don't answer that._ My attention to detail wasn't lost on this man. I might not be well versed in terms of the male species, but even I could admit that Edward was one of God's masterpieces. In my own personal fantasy he was as beautiful inside as he was outside. However the operative word in that statement was _'fantasy.'_

It was four thirty and I still had a couple hours to go before leaving for the night. I hated Mondays like most people. The good thing about Mondays, you were one day closer to the weekend. This led me to think about the shopping trip Angela and I were taking to Port Angeles on Saturday. I had agreed to attend the hospital benefit with Jake after he begged me. I still didn't know why I agreed to go. But I did so now I was left with finding something appropriate to wear. I knew without a doubt I didn't own anything that was currently hanging in my closet that would be suitable. A new dress would also mean new shoes which meant heels.

_Have I told you I am vertically challenged?_

I just hoped I would find something that would flatter me in a way that would not be too flashy. I also hoped the pair of shoes I found would not end up being the death of me. It's not that I didn't own heels but what I owned were either chunky or no taller than three inches. That was not going to work for what I needed for the benefit. Jessica always left me stunned how she managed to walk in the '_come fuck me pumps'_ she wore. I am sure she wore them doing everything and anything. I would say that was the only thing I admired about her. The way she walked in those stilts she wore equated to the way I walked in my sneakers. Actually that wasn't even a good analogy considering I had been known to even trip wearing my Nikes. I was such a lost cause. Why did I say yes to Jake again?

The phone at my desk rang. "Hello Sarah. I wondered what she needed, maybe a quick trip to the ladies room.

"Bella, you have a visitor in the lobby."

I had a visitor? Really?

"Can you tell me who it is?" I asked in a very surprised tone. I never got visitors here.

"A very nice young man is here to see you." Sarah replied.

_Nice young man._

Then all of a sudden it dawned on me. Jake. It was Jake. He obviously came here to plead his case to go to dinner tonight. God, I guess he doesn't take no for answer.

I walked out to the lobby. What I expected was not what was standing in the reception area.

_Edward Cullen_

This was a dream. I mean I had been dreaming about Edward. In fact a few of those dreams were Edward coming to the office to whisk me away. I felt like I should pinch myself. But I knew this was no dream. I was about to come face to face with Edward Cullen. For the life of me I couldn't understand why he was here to see me. Again, me Bella Swan.

"Hello Bella." His voice could melt butter. And he was back to calling me "Bella."

He was still wearing what he had on earlier today when I saw him at the construction site. It was safe to say that he looked even better. How was it possible that this man can look this hot towards the end of the day when I'm looking most likely like crap!

"Hi Edward." I didn't know what else to say to him. I wanted to say something like, _'What the hell are you doing here.' _But of course I could never. In fact I somewhat got the feeling after seeing him this morning he had done his best to ignore me, although I couldn't fathom why. But here he stood; the man was sex on legs flashing that killer smile.

He removed something out of his pocket and held it out in the palm of his hand.

"It seems you dropped this at the site this morning."

My iPod, yes I knew that it was missing. I couldn't remember if I had left it at home or left it elsewhere. I had no idea that it had slipped out of my bag. I blamed it on being distracted. It was partly Jacob's fault but mostly Edward's. He had the power to divert my attention. It was unsettling. Even now I was lost.

_Focus_

"Oh my God, that's my iPod! I thought I had left it at home. I would have gone crazy tearing up my house. Thank you. It was incredibly kind of you to bring it by." I smiled shyly into his eyes while secretly feeling a sense of excitement. God, he actually went out of his way to bring this to me.

"Well 'kind' is my middle name."

I was awarded another smile. He belonged on the cover of a magazine. This man was dangerous. I could feel the crack of electricity like a bolt of lightning from a summer thunder storm. I didn't understand it. I wasn't sure I wanted to. And yet a larger part of me needed to know him, to fully comprehend what it was about him that called to me. His voice, his physical beauty lured me in fueling my demand to learn what lay beneath his flesh and blood.

Who was Edward Cullen?

I blushed again. By now my blood pressure had to be off the charts. I am sure it was even higher than what it was this morning during my doctor's appointment. I wasn't certain if I would have rather suffered through that exam again than attempt to make small talk with Edward.

I gingerly took the iPod from his hand; I felt mine tremble a bit.

_So smooth Bella…_

He winked at me as the iPod shifted back into my possession. It felt warm and I couldn't help having a perverted moment when I realized this had been in his pocket. _Close to his body._

Oh. My. God. I needed help. Seriously, where was my mind going? _In the gutter._

Before either one of us said another word I saw Jack walking Mike Newton into the reception area.

I normally didn't make it a habit to use the 'F' word often, but this was one of those moments where that word was the only word to best describe the situation. _FUCK!_

"Thanks Jack. We'll definitely follow up next week." Mike and Jack shook hands then Jack turned around to walk back to his office. Mike turned to make his exit.

_Keep walking Mike…_

"Bella, we meet again."

Of course, why did I think Mike would just leave? He came up to me and purposely brushed his shoulder against mine. Was it possible to have a nightmare…while you're awake? It sure felt like I was in the middle of one.

"Mike, all set with your meeting?" Edward stood exactly in the same spot he was in before Mike barged in. He seemed to give him the once over. As if he was sizing him up, for what I had no idea.

"Yup, all set. So this must be the boyfriend you were talking about earlier?"

I just wanted to find a hole and crawl inside and die. He didn't just say that? My eyes glanced over to Edward. I had made that comment to Mike; I had intended to use Jake. But damn if my plan didn't blown up in my face. I just hoped that Mike didn't recognize Edward from the night at New Moon. Suddenly Edward's eyes were on me and his mouth lifted into a crooked smile. Oh dear Lord.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen; it's a pleasure to meet you." Edward extended his hand to Mike who took it.

"Yeah, um…Mike Newton, good to meet you too." It was apparent to me that even Mike was affected by Edward's air of confidence.

Before I knew it Edward was by my side placing his arm around my waist, staking his claim.

_Edward Cullen is touching me._

A burning sensation, that's what it felt like. It was as if I had been branded. His arm snaked more comfortably around my waist as if this was a common occurrence.

_Why did I feel somewhat at ease?_

The level of intimacy from just this simple touch made my heart skip a beat. Mike on the other hand was giving Edward the stink eye. As if he had some claim to me himself. This was more than surreal, like I was in the middle of a romance novel where the heroine is caught between two lovers. The problem with that parallel, I definitely didn't want Mike Newton, but Edward Cullen? He elicited feelings within me that were foreign and yet I wanted to explore them, find their meaning.

I was thanking God that Edward was playing along for me, while secretly a bigger part of me wanted this to be anything but a ruse.

Edward's eyes locked on to mine gazing at me lovingly nearly taking my breath away. I certainly wasn't prepared for the words he spoke.

"Baby, you left your iPod at my place, I knew you would go crazy looking for it."

_Baby…_

Mike's face was flushed, a mixture of anger and embarrassment from witnessing Edward speak to me so intimately. _Baby_. How many times had I read a romance novel where the hero referred to his love of his life by that term? How many movies had I seen? My physical reaction completely caught me off guard. I wasn't only warm, but shit my panties were wet. I was mortified by my treacherous body. What would it be like to really call him mine? For the first time in my life I wanted to find out.

"Edward, you're a lucky guy. Bella's a great girl." There was no mistake in Mike's tone, jealousy marked with bitterness thrown in for good measure.

I expected any minute they were going to whip out their male anatomy and compare who had the bigger tool. I was beginning to see just how much Mike had been attracted to me. I suppose I never gave it any real credibility. He just seemed like one of those typical guys who only wanted to hook up. I was entirely convinced he still wasn't looking for that.

"Yes, I am. She's very special." Edward squeezed his arm around my waist tighter.

I couldn't help but look up at him. This was the closest I had been to him since meeting him. I don't believe there really was a word in the English language to accurately describe the beauty of this man. He was more than captivating. His eyes so green even the lush rain forests of the Olympic Peninsula would be envious. Those same eyes held mine smiling at me tenderly. One of the most beautiful smiles I think I had ever seen. What was this man doing in the construction business? He belonged on billboards and in magazine spreads. He could rival some of the most handsome men of Hollywood. Who was that actor that was all the rage now? You know the one, he's British I think. I couldn't remember but Edward could put him to shame. And his scent, it was hard to explain but it was inexplicably male and all Edward and I wanted to drown in it.

"Thank you Edward. That's very sweet of you to say." Okay, I'll play along. Why not right?

"So, are we still on for dinner tonight?"

Now that totally threw a monkey wrench into the show we were putting on for Mike's benefit. Was he serious? Or was this just part of the game?

"Dinner?" It was all I could I think to say, he totally caught me off guard. Mike's expression was now a cross between annoyance and needing to pass gas.

"Can I borrow your cell phone baby? I left mine in the car."

My cell phone, crap. What did he want with my cell phone? I handed it to Edward not wanting to give Mike any reason to think something was awry.

"Thank you, I just wanted to confirm our dinner reservations tonight."

_Dinner reservations_

Edward had my cell phone and was doing God knows what with it. I heard him speaking to someone asking about a reservation this evening. Oh. My. God. He was serious! He actually was making a dinner reservation. He had walked away but was close enough that I could hear him but far enough that Mike didn't realize he was actually making the reservation instead of confirming it. This man was one smooth operator. This spelled _TROUBLE _for me.

He finished with my phone and handed it back to me with a gleam in his eye.

_What was going on behind those brilliant eyes of jade?_

"Well, I better get back to the store. It was nice to meet you Edward. You take good care of Bella." Mike extended his hand out to Edward.

Shaking Mike's hand Edward replied, "Don't worry, I plan on it." He walked back to my side and grabbed my hand in his holding it tightly. Had I died and gone to heaven? _This could not be happening to me. _My hand fit perfectly in his, and within his grasp not only did I feel his strength, but I found refuge. It was as if this man's hand was enough to wipe away all my fears, never allowing anyone to ever hurt me again.

I was in the reception area and I was holding Edward Cullen's hand. What started out as a simple means to dissuade the attention of Mike was now feeling like the start of something else. To make matters worse I felt like I had a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. No man had ever made me feel this way. Of course my dating had been limited, but this was like nothing I had ever encountered. Edward made me want to throw caution to the wind and explore the possibilities he presented. At the same time I kept thinking that he had acted this way to help me out of an awkward situation.

"So Bella, can I pick you up at 7?" He asked me while his hand was still in mine, no sign of releasing me from my personal torment.

"Are you serious? I mean, thank you for helping me out there with Mike, but there's no need to take me out to dinner."

It was an honest reply. And why were his eyes twinkling?

"Yeah, I'm serious. Look I know you were in tight jam there so I helped you out. But I have to be honest Bella. When I found your iPod it gave me the reason to see you again."

What. Did. He. Say?

"Why?" Edward chuckled at my response. Someone could have knocked me over with a feather. What could he possibly see in me? I wasn't anything like that Blonde Barbie he had been with last week. Which gave me cause to wonder who she was and what she was.

"I find you…intriguing. I'd like to get to know you better. So what do you say?"

I couldn't help myself so I just had to say it. "I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate that."

_Bella you have balls, who knew?_

Apparently it wasn't the right thing to say. He released my hand and took a step back from me.

_Way to go Bella._

"What makes you think I have a girlfriend?" He seemed to go on the defensive by the sound of his tone.

"Well, I just assumed that blonde woman you were with last Monday at New Moon was your girlfriend."

"You assumed wrong."

I was right, this was a touchy subject.

"I apologize; I didn't mean to upset you." I bit my lip because I felt nervous, but more importantly I felt like an idiot for even bringing this up. Never assume anything; after all I didn't know him. I shifted balance from one foot to the other, another nervous habit.

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to snap at you. I don't have a girlfriend and I would really like to take you out to dinner tonight. So how about it?"

Those damn eyes were glued to me again. I was squirming inside. My subconscious was screaming JUST SAY YES!

Didn't I want to learn more about him? He seemed like a nice guy. He was polite, articulate, and I was sure he had a sense of humor. What was the harm in having dinner with him? One date that's all it would be. And yet, I speculated if he would be the first guy who would actually ask for a second date. _Putting the cart before the horse? _You have to go out with him first before there can even be a possibility of a second date. My thoughts were a befuddled mess, and he was directly responsible.

_He's waiting for an answer, what do you want?_

"Yes, I would like that. Um…I was going to work late to make up some time but I think my boss wouldn't mind if I just came in earlier tomorrow." Fred would be more than okay with that.

"Great! I'll call you later. Plan on being ready by 7, I'll pick you up then."

"You don't have my number?" I didn't give him my number did I? I would have remembered that.

"I got it. When I called to make the reservation I took the liberty of sending a text to my cell. But I don't have your address, although I am sure I could find it." He winked at me, God I felt giddy, as if I was having my first boy crush. Maybe I was.

He needed my address. This was real, very real. My heart was pumping out of my chest and my face had to be three shades of red.

"Oh, yeah you would need that. I live at 775 K St. in Forks."

He beamed one of the most electrifying smiles, gave me one more wink then made his way out the doors.

I was thoroughly and completely over my head.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope that you are finding this worth your time. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. **

**Jlyn & DennaRose…love you girls! xo**


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made; only fulfilling a creative whim.

Chapter 10

**Edward's POV**

I didn't know what the fuck just happened, but damn if fate wasn't smiling on me tonight. My game plan had consisted of showing up at Bella's office to return her iPod. After that I was flying by the seat of my pants. I discovered that that blonde douche was Mike Newton, a customer of Wolf's and he _wasn't_ Bella's boyfriend. I would be a fat fuck of a liar if that wasn't music to my ears. However there was still the matter of one Jacob Black. I still didn't know how he figured into the equation. But one step at a time, which wasn't something I wasn't good at. I was an impatient motherfucker.

I never imagined in a millions years the boon I was given. Her face drained of all color when I decided to play along with whatever the fuck she was up to with this Newton dude. I made the assumption he wanted to take her out; she on the other hand wasn't interested. From what I pieced together on my own she must have told him she had a boyfriend. Give the girl some credit for showing some moxie. I guess she never realized however, she would have to produce one. Bella looked uncomfortable when Mike asked if I was _the boyfriend_. This was an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. So I turned on the Cullen charm and introduced myself. From that point on I was no longer flying by the seat of my pants. Enter Edward Cullen, Bella Swan's significant other. Fuck me, I was in heaven. Newton wanted her. I could smell the want on him, the fucker. Why I entered into a pissing contest with this asshole was beyond me.

_Because you want her you dick! _

This girl pushed buttons I didn't even know I had. I kept thinking of the night I had seen her with this fucker and I was filled with unbridled jealousy. It was a feeling I was unaccustomed to. None of the chicks I known in the past made me feel anything other than just lust. With Bella, it was as if every emotion under the rainbow resided within me. It was exhilarating but at the same time it scared the living shit out of me.

It was nearly five thirty when I pulled into my driveway. I needed to take a quick shower before calling Bella. My luck continued to go my way when I had called Rain before leaving Wolf's to make the dinner reservation. At the rate things were going I thought playing the lottery wouldn't be a bad idea. I shed my clothes leaving a trail as I entered the bathroom and turned the shower on. I immersed myself under the spray of water immediately letting go of some of the tension I was feeling. It wasn't going to be enough to relieve the boner I was sporting. Fuck, she had left my body an inferno and my dick harder than granite. I was so hard I could hammer nails with my dick. I needed to jerk off. There was no way I could pick her up harboring the need for sexual release. I couldn't remember any other woman making me this stiff, even when I was fucking them.

It had been over a week since I had sex, well except with my hand. It's not like I had never gone without for a while before, but I was so jacked up that I knew as soon as I started to stroke my dick I'd come. Like a shot out of a canon. I was suffering from such a high level of sensitivity that just breathing on my dick would be enough to blow my load. I held my head down as I started my fantasy. _Dark brown eyes teased me, waves of long chestnut hair spilled across my chest as she made her way down my body. Soft lips trailed kisses and nipped my skin causing my breath to catch in my throat._ That's the visual I was using while I stroked my dick feeling the warm water cascading against my back. I had one hand pressed against the shower wall in front of me as I picked up the pace and stroked myself harder. It wouldn't be long now. I felt my release starting to coil inside my stomach and unleash its power while I palmed my dick into submission. Mingled with the running water was my panting and loud shout 'Fuck!' My release splattered against the tiles, my heart raced as I took deep breaths to gain control over my body. I felt better but not by much.

I had more than a few encounters that had been solely based on two people who were instantly attracted to one another. This resulted in the simple desire to satisfy that animal craving to mate, that crazy frenzy to achieve physical gratification. I was attracted to Bella, more than attracted to her. I couldn't lie and say I didn't want to fuck her. I had never wanted a woman the way I wanted her. And yet she was so different than any of the other women I had known. She was the first girl who actually made me feel that there was more than just the physical connection between us. I saw her as more than a quick fuck. I knew she was more than that, better than that, making me feel somewhat guilty about my past behavior.

When I stood in the reception area with Bella, I wasn't surprised by the jolt of energy that passed between us. I had come to expect it. But nothing prepared me for the overwhelming sensation of heat when I had placed my arm around her. I could still feel the warmth even now. The need to touch her only grew leaving me wanting more. Bella's hand felt so small and vulnerable in mine. She was nervous but as soon I threaded our fingers together, I could feel the tension slowly fade. As if she knew her hand belonged in mine. Newton's scorching perusal of Bella incited something primitive within me. Like I was some caveman, beating on my chest as I carried my woman over my shoulder. This was fucking crazy right? Did I sound like a pussy? Is this what it feels like when you meet your soul mate?

_Soul Mate?_

_What the fuck am I saying? _

Settle the fuck down Cullen.

I grabbed my phone to call Bella. I had to give myself a pat on the back for managing to get her number. I think I surprised her when she realized that I had done just that. I didn't want to scare her away but I wanted her to know that I was serious about tonight. Apparently she was under the impression that Tanya was my girlfriend. I was fucking pissed when she made that assumption. I had only known her a short while but I could see that she knew I was upset over her remark. There was no mistake she believed she had pissed me off. I wasn't perfect. _I know imagine that? _ But one thing I would never do is cheat. Infidelity and I were not strangers; I had lived with the fallout, and no way would I ever live through something like that again. When I finally thought about it reasonably, I realized I had been guilty of the same thing. When I saw her with Mike Newton at New Moon on the surface it appeared that they were together.

_What was that about jumping to conclusions?_

"Hello."

_Did I say she had such a sweet voice?_

"Hey."

I could have sworn I heard her catch her breath, was it possible I had the same effect on her?

_Christ I hope so._

"Edward, um, hi." She was nervous. Fuck if that wasn't just too damn cute!

"Bella, I'll be by in about 30 minutes."

"Okay… Edward?"

"Yeah."

Was she having second thoughts? I didn't like the question mark at the end of my name. I held my breath but sighed with relief when she spoke again.

"I was wondering, I don't know where we are going, so I have no idea what I should wear."

I chuckled softly.

She really was unique. Most of the women I had been with never needed my direction on what clothing to wear. Typically their dress code constituted something that could be removed easily by the end of the night. _I've had a lot of sex, so shoot me._

Bella was a rarity in my world. _That's because you never cared to date a "good" girl._

"I made reservations at Rain. Have you ever been there? It's casual and yet sophisticated."

"Well would I be out of place if I wore a pair of jeans and a dressy top?"

She could make a pair of jeans look like an evening gown as far as I was concerned.

"Bella, that's more than fine. Don't worry, you'll see a mixture of dressed up and dressed down. It's one of the reasons I like this place. You can pretty much wear anything and it's acceptable, well within reason of course." I laughed.

I hoped that I had put her mind at ease. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable. I had a feeling she was going to be on edge no matter what, but I didn't want to add to her anxiety by making her feel out of place in the wardrobe department. It wasn't like I was a fucking expert either; I left that up to Alice.

"Okay, thank you. Do you need directions?" She sounded apprehensive. I was going to do my best to make her feel as relaxed as possible.

"Nope, I got my GPS all set. I will see you shortly."

"See you soon."

It occurred to me that this was really the first time I was taking a girl out on a date. I mean a real date. It's not that I had never taken a girl out to dinner, I certainly had. Not often, but when I did it was just a formality. I know I sounded like a fucking dick. I guess I was. Those dates always ended with a good fucking. Half the time we barely made it back to her place before we went at it. Did I regret some of my past relationships? _Whoa!_ Where did that come from? I didn't have relationships, I had _relations_. _Sexual relations._ All of sudden I was the nervous one. She wasn't some chick I picked up from a bar, she wasn't remotely similar to anyone I had ever been with. What if I was a fucking disappointment in her eyes? Girls like her wanted to be courted right? '_Courted_' Where the fuck did I come up with that word? Did I just travel back to 1918?

After a shot of Jack, to settle my nerves, I decided to get going. As I pulled out of my driveway, I had an epiphany. Girls liked flowers right? I should stop and pick her up something before arriving at her house. That would be the gentleman thing to do. My parents had raised me to be one, although there would be few females who would beg to differ on that point. Yeah, well fuck them. _That's the problem asshole, you did._

I was lucky that The Timeless Cottage was still open. I parked my vehicle right outside the shop and quickly got out. I opened the door and immediately was greeted by the sound of one of those annoying door bells alerting the staff a customer had entered.

"Can I help you?"

A guy maybe around my age approached me as I walked towards the middle of the shop. He had blonde hair, which didn't appear to be his natural color. He was tall and thin wearing jeans, a while button down with a black vest and bow tie. To top it all off he was wearing some crazy ass boots. I don't know maybe this guy was gay. He was ogling me; actually it was more like eye fucking me. I had done my fair share of that so I knew the signs.

"Yeah, I'd like to pick up a bouquet of flowers." I gave the shop quick look around, it wasn't very large but it was jam packed with all different types of floral arrangements and plants from wall to ceiling. I had never been in one before. I had bought Esme flowers for Mother's Day, but I always ordered them online.

"Do you have anything in particular in mind?"

Do I? How the fuck would I know what to get her? I didn't know the girl, not really. I was completely at this guy's mercy.

"No, I don't." He gave me the once over, not even attempting to be discreet.

_What the fuck._

"Well, perhaps you can tell me what type of occasion it is." He had a small lisp that was just barely discernible.

"Occasion? Um…it's not really an occasion. I have a dinner date tonight and thought bringing her flowers would be a good idea." Now I wasn't so sure.

Out of nowhere his face lit up like the 4th of July. _Have I entered some alternate universe? _This guy was starting to fucking creep me out.

Flower dude walked over to me getting up into my personal space and started asking all kinds of questions. Did my girl (_my girl)_ have any favorite flowers? What about her favorite color? What was her favorite season? Shit, I just wanted a fucking bouquet. I began to sense that dating might be more than I had bargained for. I was out of my element, and yet something inside me said, this girl was worth it.

"To be honest, this is our first date so do you have any suggestions?" What the hell, this guy was in the business. I couldn't be the first guy to come in who was totally clueless about any of this shit.

He ushered me over to the refrigerated display case that ran the length of the right hand side of the shop. Scanning the display case, I could see numerous arrangements, everything from roses to carnations. I made no bones about the fact I knew nothing about flowers, but what I did know, roses were out. One they were much too serious for a first date, and second didn't most guys buy roses. I had no idea why, but Bella didn't strike me as the 'roses' kind of girl. _Oh, and how would you know that genius? _ I didn't, but it was just a feeling I had. I found her unique, and I wanted to present her something that wasn't so typical.

"Roses are always a good choice. You don't necessarily have to go with red. A lovely pink arrangement would make any girl blush." I had to admit I did love to see this girl blush. She was fucking adorable with her cheeks all rosy. Still. Too soon for roses. He motioned to the vase that was in the center of the case.

"Actually, I think I would like those." I pointed to the far left corner of the case.

"Ah, wild flowers, yes that's another way to go." He slid the door open and took the vase out.

They were beautiful. Wild flowers reminded me of Bella. Why I couldn't really tell you other than I thought she was a natural beauty. They also reminded me of the flowers that grew along my parents' property by the river. They were understated and yet perfect. It's how I saw Bella.

_**~~SyP~~**_

The house was modest, a white two story with a one stall garage. It was simple and unpretentious, so Bella. It crossed my mind if she lived here alone or with her parents, roommate? Like I said, I knew virtually nothing about the girl who had been occupying so much of my mind of late. What if she did live with her parents? Fuck, I didn't even think of that. There was a real possibility that I could come face to face with her father. The last time I met some girl's father was senior year high school when I picked up Sharon Matthews for prom. Shit, that was uncomfortable. The guy had given me the third degree, no drinking, and drugs and to forget about touching his daughter other than twirling her on the dance floor. Fucker, what he didn't know was his daughter was one of the easiest lays at Chicago Academy High School.

I found myself at Bella's door ringing the doorbell with a bouquet in my hands. Oh how Emmett would have loved to have seen this first hand. Fuck me. I was starting to sweat, what the fuck was wrong with me? No explanation was needed, I was venturing into unchartered territory. For the first time in I don't know how long, I felt unsure. I normally was the cocky bastard who had no problem with getting women. I couldn't ignore the nagging voice that kept saying 'she's out of your league.' Maybe that was true, but fuck I needed, no I wanted her in a way I couldn't even begin to comprehend. I was going to throw caution to the wind and let it lead me down an unfamiliar road. How many times had my father told us, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'?

_I guess I'm going to find out._

The heard the click of the door opening. There she was in all her natural radiance.

"Hi Edward." She greeted me with a shy smile, her eyes somewhat fearful in meeting mine.

Bella looked stunning, nothing over the top and yet she just took my breath away. Her makeup was flawless. Smoky gray eye shadow, a hint of blush, topped off with pale pink gloss. My mouth was watering. The scoop neck sweater was the deepest shade of blue; it was like the color of sapphires. The swell of her breasts were proudly on display as was the familiar medal she wore. Dark denim pants fit her slim figure nicely, giving me pause to imagine what I would find beneath them. She was petite but there was no mistake she had some legs that I was itching to feel wrapped around my waist.

_Seriously Cullen? _Okay, some old habits are hard to break.

"Hello Bella. You look lovely." I nearly forgot I had the flowers in my hands and nearly shoved them in her chest causing her to jump back. _Smooth, fucker! _"I'm sorry, these are for you." I managed to steady my hand as I gently motioned them towards her again.

"Thank you Edward, you look very nice too." She had such long eyelashes that were fluttering like butterflies at the moment. Yeah, she was nervous. "And thank you for the flowers. I adore wildflowers, they are so beautiful. The colors are always so bright and I love their fragrance. They're like having a little of the outdoors indoors."

_Score one for Cullen._

"Oh, God. I'm sorry, where are my manners. Please come in." Bella's face turned a pretty shade of pink, prettier than the blush she was wearing. Besides seeing her in blue, which I fucking loved, pink was now my second favorite color. God, she looked so adorable.

She opened the door wider so I could pass through.

"Please, make yourself comfortable. I'm just going to put these in a vase."

I found myself immediately standing in her foyer, the living room was to right and a staircase leading to the upstairs directly in front of me. The décor was simplistic and tasteful, I had a feeling she was a firm believer in less is more. I felt eyes staring at me across the living room coming from the back of the couch. _A cat!_ An all gray with green eyes was suspiciously sizing me up. Fuck, a cat really? Under the table in the middle of the room was another one. This time the feline was black and white and again green eyes latched on to me. It was smaller than the other and appeared to be a little timid. I felt something brushing up against my calves. I looked down. _Are you kidding me?_ This chick had three cats! The one that apparently had taken a liking to me was a gray white tiger, green eyes (suddenly the fact I had green eyes was proving to be one thing in my favor) and purred as it made its way in between my legs.

"Shack!" Bella's highly charged shout startled me. She quickly walked over and bent down to pick up the new friend I had made. "I'm sorry, he's very friendly."

No shit.

"No worries. So…three cats?" Did that sound rude? I didn't want to come off sounding like an ass. It's not that I didn't like cats. But I was a dog person. We had several growing up. Cats always made me feel a bit uneasy. As if they knew something I didn't. I remember hooking up with one chick and waking the next morning in her bed with five fucking cats lying across and along my body. It totally freaked me the fuck out.

"Um..yeah." Her tone was laced with trepidation. She probably thought I hated cats and this was going to be an issue. "Do you not like cats?"

"Oh, no. I mean, yeah I do. I guess. We never had cats we always had dogs growing up. Shit, sorry. I must sound like a real ass."

_You are an ass!_

She laughed. I decided then, that was the best sound I had ever heard. She nervously bit her lip while timidly raising her eyes to meet mine.

"This handsome man in my arms is Shackelton. He's six, the sleek looking devil who is laying on the back of the couch is Rudy. He's fifteen and that little darling under the coffee table is Dexter. He's the baby, he's almost two."

"So is it just you and the cats or do you live with your parents?" I hoped I didn't sound too forward. But I was curious.

Her smile faltered and she looked down at the floor. I sensed I had touched upon sensitive territory. _Shit._

"No, it's just me and my cats. And please no comments about being a single girl living with cats." Bella smiled and I breathed a small sigh of relief. However it didn't go unnoticed that she didn't answer further about her parents. Maybe a topic I could broach later.

"I see, so you have been teased about living alone with cats?" I chuckled. Her hair fell in waves around her small shoulders. It was thick and shined brightly. In the back of my mind I envisioned that hair draped across my chest, just like in my fantasy. Fuck, now is not the time for my dick to stand to attention for roll call!

"You could say that. Well, do you want anything to drink?" Bella placed Shackelton on the couch then turned back to me.

"No, thank you. Actually, we should get going." I glanced at my watch, it was 7:15.

"Oh, okay. Just let me get my bag and jacket."

She made her way upstairs which I could assume was to her bedroom. I was left alone for just a couple of minutes but long enough to walk around the living room viewing pictures that adorned the walls. I noticed several of a man and woman with a small little girl. This must be her parents and a young Bella. At least I thought so. There was no mistake the little girl was Bella. She had long brown hair and those eyes. I would know them anywhere. Even as a child she was breathtaking. The three of them looked happy. The photograph was the embodiment of family. Interestingly enough I didn't see any of the happy family as Bella grew.

The clatter of heels coming down the stairs caused me to move back to where I was before Bella left. I didn't know why I felt as if I was intruding by viewing the photographs but somehow I did.

"I'm ready." She stood at the bottom of the stairs, a vision of purity. Well at least it was the vibe she gave off.

"Well, then let's get going."

I winked at her.

She blushed.

I believe I found my new favorite pastime.

_**~~SyP~~**_

Bella was quiet on the drive over to Rain which took maybe ten minutes. Since I was able to sense her anxiety I decided to help take the edge of by playing some music.

"This is so beautiful." I heard her whisper.

"It is isn't it?"

"What is it?"

"Love theme from Cinema Paridiso."

The composition was achingly beautiful. It was gratifying to hear Bella appreciate it while giving her some sense of calm.

We arrived at Rain and I decided to make use of the valet service. I got out and rushed over to open Bella's door and helped her out. _Like I said I could be a gentleman. _I knew very little of her, but what I had discerned, she was definitely a lady. I had not been with many I admitted to myself. My past had been comprised with fucking plenty of "easy" women. This was different. Bella was different. This was all new to me and I was afraid of fucking this up but something inside encouraged me to see where this would lead.

After handing the keys to the valet, I escorted Bella into the restaurant. Placing my hand on the small of her back I ushered her towards the hostess. I felt her tense slightly, not convinced if it was from pure nerves or the electricity that charged between us. I wanted to think the latter.

"Hello Edward." A husky hushed voice greeted me.

_Charlotte_. She was tall, blonde and yeah I had been with her a couple of times. Fuck, I had no idea she was the hostess here. Bella was tense enough, the last thing I needed was to add awkward to the equation. Why did I feel this way? It wasn't as if we were in a relationship. _No, but you want to be. _Did I? The only thing I knew, I didn't want my past barging into my here and now, or my future. _Future?_

"Hello Charlotte, we have reservation under Cullen." I played it cool, not wanting to tip Bella off that I had known Charlotte outside of Rain. She on the other hand had the common sense not to insinuate that there had been anything between us. Actually when I thought back on the few times we had been together, she wanted the same thing out of our 'relationship.' Not that we had one, it was just about fucking. I was able to breathe a little easier when I recognized she posed no threat to me, or more importantly Bella.

"Right this way."

Charlotte grabbed two menus and escorted us to our table. It was tucked alongside the back of the room not too far from the piano bar. The restaurant was well known for its organic cuisine which favored fresh seafood. The menu however, did feature several choices of beef, pork and chicken. All again cooked organically and to order.

I pulled Bella's chair away from the table to seat her and brushed my fingers lightly over her upper back as I pushed the chair in. I just couldn't help myself.

"Ashley will be serving you this evening."

With that Charlotte was gone leaving me with a smile and understanding that there would be no further contact.

_Thank you Jesus. _

I gazed at Bella as she surreptitiously examined the large dining area. I know she had never been here before. I would have loved to have taken her to Trattoria Amalfi in Port Angeles, but this had been the spur of the moment kind of thing. Not that I was complaining. Rain was classy dining establishment. Everything about it screamed organic. Why the name Rain? The owners were actively involved in saving the rainforests around the world. The interior design of the restaurant depicted exactly like one. Well, as close as you could replicate that confined to the indoors. They had gone as far as creating the effects of a natural waterfall. In reality it was rather spectacular. No wonder Bella found herself in a trance as she surveyed her surroundings.

"Edward, this is truly amazing."

"Yeah, I thought you might like it here. Besides the ambiance, the food here is fantastic."

Before I could further our conversation Ashley, our server, came over to take our drink order.

"Do you come here often? I mean, I noticed that the hostess knew you." She asked as her eyes were having difficulty focusing on me. She kept glancing to my face and to the napkin in her lap which was undergoing some type of experiment with her hands. I wasn't able to read her completely but I certainly was able to tell that she was definitely on edge.

So how do I answer this? _'Oh yeah, I know her. I've fucked her a few times.'_ Did I have to even acknowledge with an answer? _Yes, you do asshole. _Take the bull by the horns and say something.

"Yes, I've been here several times." Okay not exactly the truth but not a lie either.

The drinks arrived, and we placed our dinner order. I frowned when Bella opted for the salmon salad. This was dinner for fuck's sake! I was starving and had no problem ordering one of their signature dishes.

"Bella, are you okay?"

Maybe she didn't feel well.

"Yes, I'm fine." She replied as she picked at the dinner roll in front of her.

"I was just wondering since you ordered a salad for your entre. Or are you eating light so you can save room for dessert? They do have an incredible list of freshly made pies, tarts and so much more. I kept it light by laughing as I finished the sentence.

"Actually, I am just watching my weight."

_What?_

Watching her weight do what? The girl couldn't weigh more than a hundred twenty pounds. I wasn't saying that I didn't appreciate a slim figure. I had certainly had my share of hard rock bodies. I couldn't see where she needed to lose an ounce. But what the fuck did I know right? I had sister and still couldn't figure her out.

You remember when I said I was an impatient mother fucker?

We sat in silence for several moments when I decided to break the ice. Oh and I broke it alright.

"So Bella, how do you know Jacob Black?"

**A/N: Welcome new followers. So what did we think about Edward and his visit to the florist? Is he getting in over his head? Give me some thoughts, would love to hear from you guys.**

**Jlyn & DennaRose - you make me smile. xoxoxoxo**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 11

**Bella's POV**

All I had wanted was to finally get Mike Newton off my back. I told one little white lie, something I didn't do often. But I felt it was necessary. Have you ever been in a situation where it was your only option? I guess God and the universe decided differently.

_Well Bella, I think you have learned your lesson. Do Not Lie. _

So here I was faced with the fact that I was going out with Edward tonight. _Edward Cullen! _ I was having difficulty breathing and my heart felt like it was the track at the Indy 500. Could I be having a panic attack? Just breathe. A shower would relax me, however in my haste I nicked myself while shaving my legs. _I know what a shocker!_ And of course the sight of blood has never been a good thing for me so I quickly grabbed the face cloth, and began blotting the spot. I got the damn thing under control and placed a bandage over it. I wasn't sure what to wear tonight. I didn't know where Edward planned to take me, but now with my leg bandaged I was definitely ruling out a skirt.

I wanted to call Angela and get her opinion but thought better of it. I couldn't run to her every single time I felt unsure. Nor did I need the Angela pep talk along with her opinion that this was _fate_. No thank you.

I was rummaging through my closet when I heard my phone ring.

_Edward_

I was literally shaking when I answered, my voice nearly cracked I was so nervous.

_How are you going to react when he's here, in your home! _

The timbre of his voice was just as silky and sinful as it was in person. Did I expect that it would sound any different? This man could read the phone book out loud and I would be under his spell.

"Bella, I'll be by in about 30 minutes."

Oh God, this was really happening.

"Okay… Edward?"

I could hear how uncertain I sounded. I attempted to bolster my confidence as I desperately wanted to ask him what dress attire would be appropriate for this evening. I nearly laughed, not that I thought this was amusing, but that most likely I was the first girl to ever ask him such a question. I could feel the heat radiate to my cheeks. This was an awkward moment for me, believe me I knew awkward. We were on a first name basis. I felt so stupid having to ask him what I should wear but he put me at ease letting me know Rain was a casually sophisticated place and I could dress it up or down and still fit in.

I looked at the clock; I had twenty-five minutes, I only hoped he might be a few minutes late by getting lost. _Are you kidding me? _Number one, how does one get lost in Forks? It's nearly impossible considering how small the town is. Second, who gets lost today since the invention of GPS and Mapquest? This was just wishful thinking on my part. I wanted to delay as long as possible. I began to bite on my thumbnail then quickly stopped. I had done so well curbing this nervous habit. Well up until a certain bronze haired green eyed Adonis entered my life.

"Why am I having such a hard time deciding on what to wear? " As I mumbled to myself my cats were stalking my every more. Before I took a tumble because they were weaving in out of my legs, I decided I better feed them. Once that was done I rushed back up to my bedroom to find the perfect outfit. Or as close to perfect considering I wasn't exactly a fashion expert. I finally settled on a pair of black Levis and after making a chaotic mess out of two dresser drawers I reconciled pairing the Levis with a midnight blue sweater.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

_Was the top too much?_

The neckline dipped a little low, but I didn't think it exposed too much. It hugged my curves nicely, whatever curves I had. I mean Jessica certainly wore plenty far more revealing than this and tighter. I just didn't want to make a bad impression or give him the wrong idea.

_And just what would that be?_

I really had no idea why he would even want to go out with me. Although secretly I was relishing the thought that he actually found me attractive. It could be possible right? After all, I knew I was certainly attracted to him. I think one would have to be dead to not be, and maybe even then. Other than the medal I always wore, I put on the gold hoops that had belonged to my mother and headed for the bathroom.

As I was putting the finishing touches of my make-up, which I wore sparingly I thought about the type of women Edward dated. If the one I saw him with at New Moon was any indication, he was attracted to tall, blonde, sophisticated and all woman. We couldn't be more polar opposites. How could I even compare to that?

_You can't._

_Don't even try._

_Do I even want to?_

_What the hell am I saying?_

I wanted to turn off my internal monologue but that was a lost cause. So I brushed my hair I don't know how many times until I was satisfied that it hung as near perfect as I could get it. I had not put this much effort with any of the other dates I had. Why?

_Could it be that you like him? Really like him?_

The house was in order, not that I intended to give him a tour. The last guy who I had over was Jacob, and he didn't count. This would the first time I actually had a guy come to my house to pick me up for a date. The handful of times I had gone out I always met them. He didn't even give me an opportunity to tell him that I would just meet him at the restaurant. I wondered if he would have agreed. Well it was too late for that. In fact it was more than too late. The doorbell rang.

I gazed at myself once more in the full length mirror in my bedroom, running my fingers through my hair and made my way to the front door. Taking a deep breath I turned the door handle. There he was, one of the most beautiful images to grace my doorstep. Eyes of forest green immediately locked onto mine and he was wearing that crooked grin. My insides were screaming 'run for the hills' – I can't do this. But I reminded myself, this was one date, nothing more_._

Before making a complete ass out of myself I finally acknowledged him. "Hi Edward."

My God he looked incredibly handsome in the charcoal jacket with a light blue dress shirt with the collar opened. From the first time I saw him in that conference room something about his exposed neck and glimpse of chest hair made my stomach flutter. His dark blue jeans fit his slim hips and legs certainly outlining his fine form. This from a woman who rarely ogled the male anatomy, but he made me want things. Things I knew I couldn't have. But what was the harm pretending just for tonight that I was normal? He frightened me because he had awakened feelings within me I never knew existed. I could see how easily he could make me lose control if I let him in. That was what scared me the most, because I knew I could never hold him.

"Hello Bella. You look lovely."

If it were possible I would drown in the sound of his voice. My mind flashed to lying in bed wrapped in his arms while he spoke softly lulling me to sleep.

_Earth to Bella._

A bouquet of flowers was roughly thrust in my face which startled me that I took a step backwards.

"I'm sorry, these are for you." This time he was far gentler as I took the bouquet from him. He appeared a bit nervous as he jammed his hands in his pants pockets. I was surprised because of the few times we had met he was always so confident.

_He had brought me wildflowers. _

I was stunned that be brought me flowers, but even more that he chose these instead of the cliché bouquet of roses.

I took them thanking him and boldly told him I thought he looked really nice. Nice? That was the best I could come up with? _What did you want to say? Oh Edward you are so beautiful? _

I stood there like an idiot when I realized he was standing outside while I was in the doorway. I apologized and asked him to come in. Do you understand now? All common sense had apparently vacated the premises. I was so embarrassed; I knew I had to be blushing profusely.

The bouquet was simple but yet beautiful. The fragrance reminded me of meadows and wild fields of color. And they certainly brightened up a room. More importantly they reminded me of my Mom. I had held on to a few memories, one that was clear was her love for wildflowers. I excused myself for a moment so I could put them in a vase.

Walking back into the living room poor Edward was getting the bum's rush from Shack. He was the friendliest cat out of my three. Edward looked a bit stiff and unsure as to what to do. I had no idea if Edward liked cats and more importantly I didn't want Shack to get hair all over his pants. Shack loved to mark you as his own. At that moment I wondered what would it be like to be marked by Edward.

_As if you will ever know._

"Edward, I'm so sorry. Shack, shoo now. He apparently is quite taken with you." With my foot I removed Shack from Edward's legs. I didn't think bending down in front of Edward to pick up my cat would be a good idea.

Edward was gracious and didn't seem to be bothered by Shack. Of course he made a comment about the fact I had three cats. Actually is more like a question as if I might have more hiding somewhere. I began to wonder if in his past he had been traumatized by cats. I introduced him to my three beauties which always made me feel less nervous.

He asked me if I lived with my parents. From a brief moment I felt a lump in my throat. The room suddenly felt too small but Edward suspected this was a delicate subject not asking anything further. I told him it was just me and the cats. I couldn't resist and asked him to refrain from making any jokes about single girls living with cats. Trust me I had heard enough of them from my co-workers, and yes Angela too. Quickly the mood in the room was light again.

We chatted for a few more moments and I even offered Edward something to drink but he declined saying that we needed to get going to make our reservation. I swiftly ran upstairs to my bedroom to grab a jacket. I kept telling myself to just relax and try not to do anything embarrassing. You know trip over my feet as I did on the first day I met him. It seemed to be my favorite pastime. Edward was waiting for me in the foyer when I announced I was ready to go. He gave me a wink and my cheeks warmed again.

_I think he liked to make me blush._

_**~~SyP~~**_

Seated in Edward's vehicle, which was a Porsche, I was further reminded that I was in the company of a man who had expensive tastes. I felt so small sitting on the leather seat, the SUV was luxurious and there was no shortage of comforts. No doubt this vehicle was worth more than what I made in a year. That it was black made even more desirable. It reeked of class and affluence. _And how do I fit in? Don't answer that._

I knew I was quiet on the ride to the restaurant. Edward must have sensed it as well because he turned on his audio system and the piece that filled the cabin was hauntingly beautiful.

_Cinema Paridiso_

I wasn't familiar with the piece but it seemed to fit the mood for both of us. I vowed I was going to download it onto my iPod as soon as I was able. It would forever remind me of tonight and Edward. No matter what the outcome. I wanted something tangible as a memory. There was so much I wanted to know about the man seated beside me. I ached to peel back the layers and discover him at my leisure. But always in the back of my mind loomed the shadow bringing me back to reality.

_**~~SyP~~**_

Rain was definitely unique. It was distinctive and the fact that the interior was made to look like a rainforest just blew my mind. Silently I praised myself for not missing a step at the shock of feeling Edward's hand on my lower back as he escorted me further inside.

The hostess and Edward were on a first name basis. In hindsight, I wasn't surprised. I would imagine a man like him certainly had more than his share of women. What did surprise me was the fleeting moment of jealousy that this woman knew Edward intimately. _Aren't you being presumptuous? _I had tried giving my inner monologue the night off but apparently she wanted the overtime. Reflecting for a moment, she was right. Couldn't it just be that he had dined here before? That caused me to ponder that perhaps he frequented Rain with the other dates he brought here. Had he brought that Blonde Barbie here?

Our waitress, Ashley, brought our drinks over. She seemed to be eyeing Edward although he paid no mind to her. He was rather hard not to stare at. Everything about him exuded sex. From the way he sipped his beer to the way he raked his fingers through that gorgeous mane of hair. He wore it a little longer than some of the guys I knew from the office. If it wasn't the hair, it was the eyes, the mouth, the strong jaw, his neck; the wisp of hair from his chest that peeked from underneath his shirt, everything about this man was captivating. The butterflies in my stomach were jockeying for position. I was such a bundle of nerves I ordered the salmon salad, which didn't impress Edward in the least. I nearly laughed when he asked me if I was feeling okay. And then his eyes nearly bugged out when I told him I was watching my weight. In reality I wasn't lying. But I knew I couldn't eat.

"So Bella, how do you know Jacob Black?"

_Jake._

_What's it to him?_

I just stared at him for what felt like minutes when I knew it wasn't more than a few seconds.

_Well answer him you idiot!_

"Um, Jake?" I could hear the apprehension in my voice. Why I had no idea. Jacob was a good friend of mine. Why would Edward ask? And more importantly why would he care?

He was twirling his spoon between his index and middle finger. "Yes, Jake."

"Jacob and I attended college together."

His green eyes were blazing into mine, daring me to look away.

"Oh really? You seem to be very close."

He was fishing. At least I thought he was. How would I know? He was the first guy I dated who didn't center the conversation on them.

"We were in college. I actually hadn't seen him since we graduated. I was surprised to see him at the job site a few days ago."

He seemed to like that answer. The furrow between his brows eased. At this particular moment the one thing I wanted above all else, and yes that even meant Edward, was the ability to read his mind. Just what was going through that beautiful head of his?

"Mmmm, yes. What small world. Jake works for me and E & E is building your new corporate headquarters. How ironic. By the way how was your _date_?"

_My date?_

_What date?_

_And why did he give emphasis on that word?_

It dawned on me that he had overheard our conversation about getting together later that night. I was surprised because as I remember Edward seemed to be annoyed at me. I didn't particularly care to be grilled and frankly it wasn't any of Edward's business.

"It was great."

I noticed a twitch from the right side of his face and his eyes narrowed. If I didn't know any better I would have said Edward was jealous.

"Great."

_Was that laced with sarcasm? And was he smirking?_

Thank God our dinners arrived because I was becoming entirely too uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. We ate in silence, well I attempted to eat. Instead I arranged the salmon several times on the bed of fresh greens and tomatoes. It was inviting if I had an appetite. Edward seemed to be enjoying the Dungeness crab he ordered, looking at me occasionally. I took a sip of water, since I had drained my cocktail. _I did say I was nervous remember? _ The silence hung like a curtain between us.

I didn't know where I mustered the courage but the next thing I knew I opened my mouth and spoke.

"Edward, how long have you and your brother been in business?"

"About four years now."

"Oh really, so how old were you when you started?" Was I being forward? I didn't think so. I mean asking a guy his age didn't have the same connotation as a man asking a woman. And I really wanted to know his age.

"I was twenty-three and Emmett was twenty-five."

_Wow, that's young._

"Really? That's amazing."

He looked at me like I had three heads. What did I say? I mean starting a business at the age was not the norm for someone so young. I would be lying if I didn't find that unbelievable. Not that I thought he was lying to me. I just had never met someone who was that driven at such a young age.

"What?" It was as if he could read my mind. Or I was very poor in masking my facial expressions.

"Oh, nothing. It's just I find it incredible that someone so young would be that ambitious." I smiled at him, wanting him to understand that I admired this quality.

"Why would you say that? I don't mean to sound rude. I'm just curious."

"Most guys at that age are not interested in starting a business."

He positioned his elbows on the table and motioned his body closer to me across the table.

"Well, Bella I guess I'm not 'most' guys."

_Damn, he could say that again. _

This time I felt the heat emulate from my toes and work itself up. I didn't need a mirror to realize that not only were my cheeks red but the exposed area of my neck and upper chest were flushed. Now I was wishing I hadn't worn this top.

_Did I say this man was dangerous? Well he is._

I took a moment to compose myself to get my pulse under control as well as lodge the boulder that had found purchase in my throat.

"No, I guess maybe you're not. I find that quite admirable really. Both you and your brother must be quite driven."

"Driven? I suppose so. But we both knew what we wanted to be since we were kids. So I guess you could say we had some goals early on."

"Your parents must be very proud."

How could they not? What parent isn't proud of such an accomplishment at a young age? A momentary pang of anguish settled over me as I wished my parents were still alive. Would they have been proud of me?

"Yes, I think they are. At least I hope they are." He snickered then cleared his throat. "So Bella, tell me a little bit about you? What drives you?"

What was there to tell? I certainly wasn't the success that he was. I didn't drive a fancy car or wear expensive clothing. Everything about him suggested he led a privileged existence.

"Oh there's really not much to tell." Focusing at my hands on my lap, my thumbs dueled with one another as I attempted to rein my nerves under control.

He wasn't going to buy that line. I'm sure I was giving him the impression that I was shy. Well I was, but more importantly I was very uncomfortable talking about myself. Even without the baggage I had I would most likely have been the same. I led a very boring life, with a job that wasn't exactly exciting and spent most of my free time either at home or with Angela. As I said there wasn't much to tell.

"I doubt that Miss Swan. We all have a story to tell."

_And some are meant to be shared, while others must remain silent. _

Those emerald orbs held my gaze in such a way that I was willing to believe he could hypnotize me unleashing my secrets.

"Bella, so how long have you been working at Wolf's."

Apparently he wasn't impressed with my vow of silence. Well to be fair he did answer my questions and without hesitation I might add.

"Um…I've been there for about three years."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes."

"Fred seems like a nice guy."

"Yes."

"Have you always lived in Forks?"

Get ready for another one word answer. I know I was being a bit of a bitch wasn't I?

_Don't answer that._

"No."

I could tell by the expression on his face that he wasn't exactly pleased with my responses.

"I bet you give one hell of an interview." He laughed, even snickered.

"I'm sorry?" I spat back.

Now I was getting a little irritated. My teeth clenched, and I gripped the edges of my chair to the point my knuckles were turning white. While I admit I wasn't making it easy for him but to laugh at me? I can handle most anything but what I would not tolerate was being laughed at.

"Excuse me? " He was toying with me.

He sat back against his chair with his arms crossed against his chest with that damn grin on that damn beautiful face. He could be unnerving!

"Just what did you mean by that comment?"

"Simply that you seem to be a woman of few words. Look, I didn't mean to piss you off but really Bella, I was only asking to satisfy my curiosity. It's one way to get to know a person."

Then he smiled at me. That damn crooked smile that melted my heart. I was being rude and looking at this logically, he wasn't asking me my bra size for Pete's sake!

"I apologize. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Apology accepted. How about starting over? "

I nodded giving him a tentative smile.

"Do you like your job?"

"Yes…" I hesitated but only for a moment as I gathered my thoughts. My job couldn't compare to what he did and there wasn't any reason to be ashamed, but it paled in comparison. "I do, it's fast paced and I work with a great group of people."

"What exactly is your day like?" He seemed to be genuinely interested.

"Well as you know we manufacture ski equipment so our customers are ski retailers across the country. My department is responsible for the supporting all the needs of our retailers. From processing their orders to resolving issues related to product, orders, shipping. We pretty much do it all."

"Sounds like they keep you on your toes." Another wink! By the end of the night I was sure to be in a coma.

"Yes, if you only knew." I let out a nervous giggle.

"And Forks, have you lived here all your life?"

"Have you?"

Oh now that was cute, answering a question with a question.

Edward sat forward letting out what sounded like a groan. His expression didn't give away whether he was angry or annoyed. But I doubted he was impressed with my reverting to being evasive.

"No. I was born and raised in Chicago. My family actually moved to Forks when I was in my second year at UW."

"So how old are you?"

I was back in the driver's seat. Maybe Edward decided to just let me control the conversation, for now. He didn't strike me as the type of man who relinquished his control to anyone. His body language said as much.

"Miss Swan, asking my age isn't that a little forward?" He laughed again and I blushed.

"Bella, come on. I'm just having a little fun with you."

"At my expense?"

"What can I say, you're an easy target."

Now he definitely was teasing me. I wanted to be infuriated at him, but I was finding there was a bigger part of me enjoying the banter. I could do banter…

"You would make one hell of a spy. Extracting information from you is like pulling teeth. Actually I think pulling teeth would be easier. Okay, let's try this. I ask a question you answer, then you ask me one and I answer. Agreed?"

"Okay. So how old are you."

"Ha! I would have thought you could have figured that one out on your own."

"What do you mean?" Was this another game? If so I was beginning to find him more annoying than charming, even if he brought me wildflowers.

"Only that you have already asked me how long I've been in business and how old I was when I started the company."

I had asked him that. I cringed thinking he must have thought I wasn't listening to him. When the truth of the matter was I hung on every word he said. It had totally put my axis off kilter.

"You did, I apologize. You must think I have been listening half-heartedly."

He only shook his head while his hand ran through his hair which he seemed to do often.

"It's fine. I'm twenty-seven. I know it's rude and my mother would be ashamed but what the hell, I'm going to ask. How old are you."

"I just turned twenty-four."

"When?"

"September 13th."

"Happy Belated Birthday Bella. Say _that_ three times fast."

We both laughed and at that moment I started to let go of feeling apprehensive and allowed myself to enjoy the conversation. It's what I did on a day to day business at work right? Think of this as just one of those conversations. Suddenly I felt a bit lighter and could breathe easier.

_**~~SyP~~**_

The drive back from Rain was far different than when we had driven there. Both of us couldn't stop talking, we continued to ask questions. He had yet to ask me about Forks again or anything about my family. Although I knew the topic was going to resurface and when it did I would answer truthfully. I would divulge as little as possible surrounding my circumstances.

As we drove closer back to my house, I was wishing that he would ask me out again. He was charming, funny and honest. Oh and the fact that he is drop dead gorgeous didn't hurt either.

_Who are you and what have you done with Isabella Swan?_

"I really like your car, or whatever you want to call it."

I don't know why I blurted that out. For some reason I was being afflicted with diarrhea of the mouth. That can never be a good thing. I needed to get my filter back into place.

"Oh thanks. I bought it about three months ago."

I was waiting for him to mention the model and make but he didn't. I knew it was a Porsche. It was an SUV and I believed it was called the 'Cayenne.' I think I was a bit surprised that he didn't fawn all over the fact he owned a Porsche. I was going out on a limb to say that he seemed to be down to earth. He didn't need to impress anyone. Then again with his looks and the way he swaggered, there was no need. It came natural to him without having to say one damn word.

"I've never ridden in a Porsche before. It certainly rides better than my car."

"Oh, what do you drive?"

"I have a Ford Focus. It gets me to point A to point B. I mean I love my car don't get me wrong."

"I use to have a Ford F-150 when I was teenager. My dad had bought it for me to learn with. I loved that truck. Ford makes some damn fine vehicles."

Did I make him think I was embarrassed that I drove a Ford? I hope not. I didn't want him to think that my car was beneath me. Anyway a car is just car. As long as it was comfortable and reliable it didn't matter to me what make and model it was.

We pulled up outside my house, all too aware that the evening was coming to an end. I was sad and relieved all at once. Did that make any sense? Sad for the obvious, he was going to leave. I was relieved that I managed to get through the evening without any mishaps.

We sat there for a few minutes, and all the chatter we had enjoyed came to a screeching halt.

Until I blurted out words I never expected to come out of my mouth.

"Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee or tea?"

**A/N: So, Bella survived the date with Edward. Wonder what happens next? **** Thanks to everyone who is still with me. Huge thank you to Jlyn and DennaRose! **


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 12

**Edward's POV**

The night started off promising. At least I thought so. I know her cat Shack was digging me. Fucking cat! But what can I say; I've yet to meet a pussy that didn't love me.

Our conversation during dinner was light and I felt like we were connecting. But when I wanted to learn a little bit about her it was like someone flipped a switch. Bella became detached, indifferent and almost hostile. What the fuck? It wasn't as if I had asked her to share with me her deepest darkest secrets. Didn't I answer all the questions she had thrown at me? So what was this chick's problem? I had never had to work so fucking hard in my life to make conversation with a girl before. But then again I had never been with anyone like Bella before. I was willing to admit that the others girls I'd been with were not true conversationalists. After all, those girls were all about the end result and that was getting laid.

Miss Ice Queen was beginning to make me think she wasn't worth my time. When I finally had enough of her monotone single answers I decided to have a little fun with her. I pissed her off, and I loved it. But guess what? It did the trick. A change of tactic led to a new attitude.

Maybe she was worth my time.

So here we were sitting in my car outside her house. I could feel the air crackle with the energy that was pulsing between us. If she was any other girl you know what I would be doing right now? Yeah, fucking her into next week. But she's not any other girl. She's shy, almost childlike in some of her mannerisms. _Angelic. _Now where the fuck did that come from? And yet she appeared like one to me. _What would you know about angels? _ Not much, but this girl was sweet and unassuming. What was I doing with her? Damned if I knew, she was far better than I deserved. And yet at this moment there wasn't anywhere I wanted to be more.

So when she asked me if I wanted to come in what do you think I said.

"Are you sure it's not too late? I know you have to work tomorrow."

"Don't you?"

Fuck, here we go again, answering with a question. Shit, I thought we had moved on from this. Or maybe this was just her. I knew she was uneasy, leaving me to wonder if she dated much.

"Yeah, but I don't need to be at the office at the crack of dawn. I'm more concerned about you."

Those beautiful brown eyes locked onto mine as she smoothed her hands over her thighs. _Fuck me, don't do that._ I wanted to touch her so badly but I knew that would be bad form, at least with this girl. You can bet your ass if this had been Tanya, or any of the other girls I had fucked, my hands would have been doing more than skimming her thighs right now. I really needed to get a grip on my over active libido. What was it about this girl that had me wanting to beg to have her just touch me? I'd settle for a light stroke against my hand, anything.

I needed to remember that I was on a first date. Although I was a bit unfamiliar with what a real date was like. I think I knew enough to know that anything other than a quick kiss to the cheek at the end of the night would be over stepping her boundaries. Boundaries that I would love to push, but if I wanted a chance with her, I needed to play this cool and safe. All indications from Bella read _proceed with caution._

_Let her lead the way._

She turned to me with that shy smile of hers. "It's not 10 yet. I'll be up for a little bit. But…I mean if you are too tired, I understand. I had a really nice evening. I don't believe I thanked you for dinner. Rain was quite an experience. Thank you."

Okay Cullen, the ball is in your court.

"If you're sure it's okay, I would love to come in for some coffee."

She blushed again. Fuck, that shade was made for her and if I had anything to do with it, she would be wearing it often. _I know where you're going, stop right there._

"Um…great. " She turned to get out of the car but I made a mad dash to open the door fully for her. "Thank you Edward."

"You're welcome, and you're welcome for dinner."

I followed her up the stairs to her front door. I noticed the lights were on as she unlocked the door and led me into the living room. She had me take a seat while she excused herself to put the coffee on.

Given that I had a few moments while Bella was busy I scanned the room again. The furniture was nothing extraordinary and yet it was very homey. The couch and two chairs were earthy tones. Brown and beiges that made the room feel warm. She had a small table in the middle of the room, it was light color wood, oak? Glass in the middle which was spotless. She must be a clean freak. Of what I had seen thus far, the house was immaculate. On the middle of the table was a porcelain figure of a fisherman, interesting choice for a young woman. Maybe there was a story behind it. Or maybe the girl just liked the piece. _Stop analyzing shit!_

Other than a few of the family photos, at least I think they were, her walls in the living room were decorated with natural prints. Bella seemed to have an appreciation for nature. Now there's something we had in common. The prints were fucking gorgeous. Some I recognized were parts of the Olympic Peninsula and others were just abstracts of butterflies and foliage. All were bright and full of color, all but one. Above the couch was a black and white print. A starry night looking over a lake nestled within a mountain range. "Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness" was written in bold white lettering. I wondered was there a reason she chose this. Bella interrupted the moment by asking me to come into the kitchen before I could entertain any further thoughts.

The kitchen was modest, smaller than mine; and it was so Bella. Why I had wanted such a big fucking kitchen I'll never know. I mean I loved to cook but with my job that kitchen didn't get the near the workout it should. Big wasn't always better, well except for…. _Really Cullen? _Bella's was quaint, pale yellow walls with white cabinets. Everything seemed to be in place, countertops were spotless. Safe to say this girl was not only neat but fuck you could eat off her floors. The shine even at night was glaring me in the face.

"Would you like some dessert? We didn't have any at the restaurant. But if you only want coffee that's fine too."

The first thought that popped in my head (because I am a sick bastard) was I would have her for dessert. She would be spread eagle on her clean countertop while I fucked her hard. _I told you, sick bastard._

She was biting that God damn lip again while attempting to maintain eye contact. This girl had my head spinning. There would be moments of self-confidence only to be replaced with self-doubt. And she was adorable rambling the way that she was. I decided to put her out of her misery.

"Yeah, dessert sounds great. " Then I winked. I couldn't help myself, because every time I winked at this girl she fucking blushed like a rose. I was addicted. But I was also scared shitless over what she was doing to me. Causing me to act in ways I had never in my wildest dreams imagined I would.

_Who was I? _

Edward Cullen who just might be infatuated, I think the last time I felt this way I was a freshman in high school. I had a crush on Emily Daniels. I had lost my virginity to her. What I was feeling was reminiscent of that but so different at the same time. Fuck, I was older. I wasn't a 14 year old boy whose hormones were raging 24-7. _Yeah, right. _Okay, I'll admit I like having sex, without any romantic attachments. Meeting Bella suddenly changed things. Shit, I bought the girl flowers? What the fuck?

"I hope you like coffee cake?"

"Uh..I'm sorry?" Fucker get back to the subject at hand.

Those expressive eyes met mine and she smiled shyly. "I baked a coffee cake, would you like a piece."

"Oh, yeah. I'd love a piece." Don't even say it asshole. Why was my brain acting like an immature fuck? I'm not a huge fan of pop but suddenly I was thinking of the title to one of Katy Perry's songs. Teenage Dream. Shit…those lyrics couldn't be more appropriate at this moment.

Bella had already set the table with plates, napkins and cutlery. I watched her every move. It was more than clear to me that she knew her way around the kitchen. I didn't want that to sound sexist. I'm all for women and their right to do whatever the fuck they want and get paid fairly just like the rest of us. Seeing her make her way around was a thing of beauty. I knew that she had been nervous at dinner. Now, in her home, more importantly here in the kitchen, she was at total ease, least for now. I was curious if her comfort level would be compromised once she sat down across from me.

"So, you like to bake?" Break the ice Cullen.

"Ah, yes. I do. It's one of my favorite pastimes."

Like Esme. I could see it now, my mother and Bella swapping recipes. Esme would be in fucking heaven. For a moment I let my mind wander to images of Bella, here in the kitchen. A beautiful mess with flour streaking her face and hair and I wouldn't be able to resist tasting her. Lavishing my tongue across her neck up to those full sweet lips all the while feeling myself harden to the point of being in excruciating pain.

_Jesus Christ!_

If I didn't get myself back in check and soon I was going to, not only embarrass myself, but Bella. The last thing I wanted was to see how easily she affected me. This was so out of character. I was waging a war within myself and felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I was two people. The Edward Cullen who liked to enjoy a warm body, slake his sexual thirst then move on. Now this new Edward Cullen was emerging. He wanted to feel more than the exchanging of bodily fluids. For the first time since I even knew girls existed, I was on the cusp of actually opening up my heart and letting someone in.

I was so fucked.

"My mother enjoys baking too. Actually she is an amazing cook."

Bella placed a slice of cake on my plate than poured me a cup of coffee.

"Oh is that right? Well then I hope you won't be disappointed."

_Shit! _

I didn't mean to come off as saying she wasn't as good a cook as Esme. Was there a "How to Date for Dummies" that I could buy at Barnes and Nobles?

"I doubt that. It smells wonderful."

Hopefully that absolved me from my insensitive comment.

"You take your coffee black right?"

_She remembered._

"Yes. Well Miss Swan you have a good memory."

She gave me another sweet smile which I rewarded with another wink.

_Blush_

Once I found the Achilles heel I was relentless. It certainly came in handy in business, it was one of the reasons Emmett and I had been so successful. Not that I thought of Bella as business (well I'd like to make her my business that was no lie) but knowing that I could affect her so easily, I was going use this to my advantage.

She was waiting for me to take my first bite. Esme had baked her share of coffee cakes over the years. Weren't they all the same? As soon as my tongue met my fork the cake melted like butter inside my mouth. It was so moist, and the flavor? I think I died and went to heaven. I couldn't find the words to really describe how it tasted, other than it was fucking delicious.

"Bella, this is probably the best cake I've ever tasted."

Her face and neck turned a beautiful shade of crimson as she took a sip of her coffee. Those lips…I wanted to…I felt myself harden again and prudently adjusted my dick ensuring Bella was unaware of my condition. I was beginning to think I shouldn't have agreed to come in.

_Fuck me_.

"Thank you. But the best…?" She shook her head. "You're being too kind."

"Fuck no!" Now I was blushing. I didn't mean to swear. I know I had a gutter mouth. I had a feeling that this girl likely frowned on this type of language.

"I apologize for my colorful language that was rude of me." I chuckled. "And I'm not being too kind. If I'm anything at all, I'm honest. I'm laid back and I tolerate most things in life. Except for lying, that definitely is a hard limit for me. So when I say your cake is the best I've tasted? It's the fucking truth."

I wasn't going to apologize for dropping the 'F' bomb again. I wanted her to understand I meant what I said.

"Wow, I don't know what to say, other than thank you for the compliment."

She then giggled which was music to my ears and I began to think of ways to record it so I could make it my new ring tone. _You are so whipped!_

"What's so funny?" I am sure it was meant in a good way; how the fuck did I know if she wasn't playing with me.

"Nothing, it's just this cake is the first thing I made freshman year of home economics, high school that is."

I'm officially smitten.

_Smitten. _ What the fuck?

"I would say you passed with flying colors. My mother has made a few over the years but this is incredible. Just what makes it so moist?"

Seriously Cullen, talking about recipes now? _When did you start acting like a pussy?_ I don't know, maybe the moment our eyes met and she drew me in like a moth to a flame. Careful, you can get burned.

Bella worried her lip again. "It's top secret. If I tell you I'll have to kill you."

I laughed, fucking laughed my ass off. This girl had a multitude of qualities that made it nearly impossible to not want to know her better. Other than the obvious, that she was fucking beautiful, she was smart and once she felt comfortable she had a great sense of humor. I wanted her. And not only because I was physically attracted to her, but that she could hold her own in a conversation. And I meant a real conversation. Not one dimensional which is what I had been accustomed to. For once in my life I was looking forward to a relationship that was not based merely on sex. _What did I just say? _I said 'relationship' and I meant it. I was up for the challenge. I was also aware that I needed to take things slow. I didn't want to fuck this up. I believe I was getting ahead of myself. What made me think she would even want to pursue a relationship with me? _Even if you are Edward Cullen, I snorted internally._

"Well, then I rather you not divulge the secret since I enjoy your company. So I'll have to be satisfied with just having another piece of cake, if that's alright with you?"

_**~~SyP~~**_

Sitting with her in her living room felt good, more than good. It was as natural as breathing. Did you ever meet someone and just click with them? I've had friends like that. Never with a girl before, just add another under the 'pro' column. Yes, mentally I was keeping a list. So far I couldn't find anything to put under the con column. Well except for her cats. And if I was being really truthful, I didn't give a rat's ass if she had a dozen.

I told her more about the business. The ups and downs of working with Emmett, which made her laugh a few times. I told her that he and his wife were expecting a baby in mid-March. We talked about my parents. I didn't feel that comfortable getting into the fact that Esme was my adoptive mother. But I could see me opening up about that, I had my doubts if I would open up the door to Elizabeth. I gave her a small insight into Alice. I told her that my baby sister was quite a tornado and seemed to have knack for getting what she wanted. With her wedding only a few months away she was even more spastic. Bella got a real good laugh over that. I wondered if she and Alice would hit it off. For some reason I knew for a fact that they would. There was also no doubt in my mind Alice would love to get her hands on Bella for a makeover. Not saying she needed one. I kind of liked that natural and unpretentious look she had going on. The girl fucking rocked me with her simplicity and down to earth beauty. But I knew my sister; she would see Bella as a blank canvas, foaming at the mouth to create a new masterpiece. She already was in my eyes.

Bella talked a bit more about work. How she was lucky to have interned at Wolf's then was made the offer for permanent employment. I of course wanting to be a fucking charmer told her it had to do more with her talent than luck. Her reluctance to speak more about herself wasn't lost on me. And I was like a sponge when it came to her. I wanted to soak up every bit of what and who she was.

"Bella, I have to ask you a question." She looked at me as if I was going to interrogate her. I didn't think my tone was gruff.

"The Fisherman on your coffee table, is there a story behind it?"

Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks, I heard her take a breath, before she answered me.

Fuck that was hot!

"My father loved to fish. He spent many Saturday mornings at the lake. This was a birthday gift from my mother to my father."

I couldn't help but notice her eyes mist over as she looked away from me. Obviously this was an emotional subject. And although I didn't want her to wallow further in sadness, I pressed on.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Fuck, I really didn't. I was just curious. The piece just stood out to me.

"No, it's fine. Sorry." She sniffed and rubbed the tear that was threatening to fall.

"Don't apologize. I feel like an ass for making you upset."

"My parents are dead. They died when I was five."

Fuck me.

I always thought saying "I'm sorry" was such a lame expression to offer someone who suffered a loss of a loved one. And yet I heard myself say those same words.

"Shit Bella. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. It happened a long time ago."

I knew I shouldn't. After all we didn't really know each other that well. However I connected with her in a way that I couldn't really put into words. Or words that made any sense. I was like a dog with a bone; I wasn't going to let this go.

"Can I ask how, when?"

She nodded and I could see her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath before continuing.

"My parents and I were coming back from visiting friends in Seattle. It was early February, late in the evening and it had been raining. It was cold enough that the roads were not only slick from the rain but patches of black ice had formed."

Fuck, I could feel the knot in stomach tighten. Maybe this had been a bad idea.

"Another car apparently attempted to pass us. The other car hit some black ice and slammed into our car, flipping us over an embankment. My parents were killed on impact. I was in the backseat. Other than suffering a few scratches I was unharmed."

_Jesus Fucking Christ!_

"Damn Bella, I don't know what to say."

I didn't. I couldn't imagine losing my parents at such a young age. Yes my biological mother had bailed on us when I was around her age. But I had my father. And then Esme walked into our lives. I was fortunate. I hated what Elizabeth had done. To this day I still do. Yet I was one of the lucky ones. I realized that now as I sat by this beautiful girl who graced me with her life altering event. I wondered what she might have been like if she had not suffered such a loss. I liked the Bella before me, but something as horrific as this changes you significantly.

"There's nothing to say. It happened, life goes on."

She gave me another wary smile. What she said was short but profound. I returned the smile hoping she knew I was moved by her story.

"After the accident…" Was I crossing the line? Maybe, but fuck it. "who took care of you?"

I sensed her hesitation before she finally spoke again.

"I was placed in foster care."

_Foster care_

"It must have been tough." Oh great, Cullen. _No it was a walk in the park you moron_. I was rethinking this whole dating thing. Maybe I wasn't cut out for it. Or maybe I was just overwhelmed by this girl who had eyes like a doe and had endured one of the most sorrowful experiences for a young child.

She surprised me by answering my dumb ass comment. "I suppose, I don't really think about it too much. When I turned eighteen I moved back to my parents' house. They had the foresight to set up a trust fund for me. My dad had been the Chief of Police here in Forks. I guess he wanted to make sure I was taken care of if anything happened to him and my mother."

I sat there in a fucking awe of this girl. She had to carve out a life without family. She was survivor. I silently cursed myself for all the petty bullshit I bitched about. It paled in comparison and leaving me feeling ashamed, I hardly knew the girl and yet she was schooling me on what it takes to tough it out in life. And at such a young age, she fucking blew my mind.

"You had no other family."

She quickly darted her eyes towards her lap again.

"No, um…no other family."

Shit, that sucked.

We sat there for a few moments in silence. I kept my gaze on her as she had her eyes drawn to her lap while she fiddled with an imaginary thread on her pants.

When she next spoke it was the last thing on earth I was prepared to hear.

"That blonde you were with at New Moon, who was she?"

What. The. Fuck?

Okay, deflection. I get it. She wanted to turn the discussion away from her. But Tanya? Really…we were going to discuss her? How do I answer? _No, she wasn't a girlfriend, just a chick I've been fucking for the last three months. _Was fucking. Past tense. I could just see Bella's face. She would blush and it wouldn't be in a good way. I had it coming; after all I did get in her face about Jacob, which was not any of my business. I knew that probably pissed her off a little.

"She was nobody special. Someone I knew."

_Oh smooth Cullen._

There were those eyes again zeroing in on me and briefly I imagined her finding a way to get into my head and read my thoughts. Now wouldn't that be a trip. If she blushed by a simple wink, what the fuck would happen if she knew what I was thinking? My mind was a dangerous place. Never mind the truth about Tanya, but shit all the dirty thoughts I've been having about Bella would even make me blush.

Pervert

"Nobody special, well she certainly was very pretty."

She thought Tanya was pretty. If we were further along in whatever the fuck this was that was happening between us, I would have told her Tanya had nothing on her. Not One God Damn Thing.

I raked my fingers through my hair, it seemed like she wasn't going to let this go.

"Look, she's just a girl I've been out with a few times. As I said, she's not my girlfriend. I..I've not had a girlfriend, in a long time."

I wasn't exactly lying. In my adult years I could honestly say I didn't do the girlfriend thing. The last girlfriend I had was Tracy Madison. She was the cute little redhead my sophomore year, the first and only virgin I had been with. We went steady for three months, and it was a learning experience for both of us. I was so damn horny, we did it every chance we got. She was my first and last, and I learned a valuable lesson. Keep that fucker wrapped.

I made her feel uncomfortable because I had just sounded very defensive. I was but I wasn't. I was sick to death over labeling what Tanya and I were. I got it from Tanya, my mother, my father, Emmett, Jasper, fuck even Bella was insinuating we were something. The only one who didn't entertain any discussion along those lines was Alice. Simple reason, Alice hated her. She saw Tanya for what she was long before I did.

"I apologize. That was none of my business."

Now I felt like a fucking heel.

"It's okay; we hung out for a bit. She wanted more. I didn't."

When I looked at her what I saw in her eyes almost appeared to be a sense of relief. Why I don't know. We had already had this discussion. I told her I didn't have a girlfriend the day I returned her iPod to her. She didn't believe me. I suppose if I was her I might have been apprehensive. I remember the way Tanya was hanging all over me as we made our way to our table. To the general public it looked like we were together, in every sense of the word. Bella's opinion of me mattered. _She mattered._ Maybe further down the road I could come clean and tell her exactly what Tanya had been. A convenient fuck, even I winced thinking that.

"What about you? I find it hard to believe you don't have a line of guys waiting to want to whisk you away."

She laughed. I mean really laughed.

"Miss Swan, why do you find that statement so amusing?"

The wheels were turning in that beautiful little head of hers. Now I was wishing I had the ability to delve into that mind and rip away all her secrets, wants and desires. I was getting a little hot again and felt something stirring to life. _Ah fuck…  
_

"I wasn't laughing at you."

"Well then, if not me than what?"

Another pregnant pause, what exactly was she hiding? I found it hard to believe that she didn't have to beat guys away with a stick. I mean look at her! She was oblivious to her beauty. Then again, maybe she was just this shy quiet girl. Every indication led me to believe that she was exactly that. That she was certainly not as experienced as I was when it came to the opposite sex.

"Edward…uh…can I be honest with you?"

Okay, whenever someone begins a conversation with those words it can't be good.

"Of course, as I said before honesty is definitely _not_ overrated."

The lip biting started again, she tapped her foot on the floor and keeping eye contact with me was becoming harder to maintain.

"It's just…the truth is.." What the fuck was it! I wanted to just shake her and tell her spit it the fuck out already!

"I don't want to give you the wrong impression, or lead you on."

Here it comes. I think you're a really nice guy blah, blah, blah….

And what is she talking about leading me on? For a moment I wanted to turn around to see if there was someone else in the room besides the two of us.

"Just say it."

Now I was pissed. Sorry, but if you have something to say just spill it. If she didn't feel the vibe between us, fine. If so did I read her wrong? I wasn't going to lie and say it wouldn't sting. But I'm a grown man, I can fucking take rejection, especially at this juncture when things hadn't even started to roll.

"I've been with a few guys in the past. And I've seemed to have rushed into _relationships._"

It was then I saw the writing on the wall, her definition of 'relationships' meant physical.

Okay…I was listening.

"I don't want to be that girl anymore." I wanted to say that she _didn't_ blush when she said that. But she did. And she didn't stop there; she was now biting the inside of her cheek. Damn this girl, the signals she was giving me…I didn't know if I was coming or going.

"What are you trying to tell me Bella?"

"I'm saying I don't want to make any rash decisions based on physical attraction. It's not worked out for me in the past."

I think I was following her. If I understood correctly, she definitely was attracted to me but she didn't want to fuck me. Yet. Is that right? Well, well. Miss Isabella Swan was definitely a paradox. You know what they say...still waters run deep. Fuck, I wanted to drown in her. But I was willing to play by her rules. That is if she still wanted to play.

"I like you Bella. Tonight was fun, I can't remember the last time I felt this comfortable with a woman. I'd like to see you again. So if you are telling me that you are interested but that we need to take things slow, I'm good with that."

I wanted to lean in and kiss her but that would definitely contradict what I just said. I was still hoping for either a quick peck on the cheek before I left or a hug…I was a greedy bastard; I'd take both if I could get them.

Her expression changed. Where she had looked so troubled and uneasy her gaze now reflected elation, as if a burden had been lifted from those slender shoulders. I had to feel somewhat proud that she could be this honest with me. It also gave me reason to believe that it wasn't one sided. She felt the charge between us. And perhaps that charge was not just the physical attraction, but something even deeper. For the first time in a very long time I felt hopeful that she was unlike any of the other girls I had been with.

Once we got that awkward moment out of the way the flood gates opened and we chatted just about everything and anything two people could discuss. Even down to sports. I found out she loved football. Except for one problem, she wasn't a Seahawks fan. Get this; the chick was a New England Patriot fan. What the fuck is up with that? She was going on and about Tom Brady. I wanted to hurl. What was it with girls and Brady? The guy was too fucking pretty. So he's a NFL quarterback, makes some decent cash, has three Superbowl wins. For Bella it wasn't only his action on the field but more importantly she found him to be humbling. She called him the ultimate team player. I silently berated myself for feeling jealous over some guy she didn't even know, or would ever know. And you know what else? The girl knew football. I also learned that she was a very poor loser. Something I was stowing away in the back of mind for later. I had a feeling she could be vicious when it came to losing. I also found that fucking sexy!

I looked at my watch and was shocked. It was nearly 1:00 AM. Fuck it was late. I wasn't too concerned about me, but Bella. She was going to be exhausted. I needed to leave but I didn't have the desire to move myself from this couch and from her side. I had it bad and this was only our first date.

I Am So Fucked.

**A/N: Still with me? Not much feedback? Don't be shy. Welcome new followers.**

**Jlynn/DennaRose my deepest gratitude for the time you invest in editing each chapter. xoxoxoxo**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

Chapter 13

**Bella's POV**

I walked Edward to the door feeling like I was having an out of body experience. The girl who just spent nearly six hours with this man wasn't me. When had I ever felt so secure but at the same time overwhelmed and over my head? Never that's when. Why? Because all dates prior to this one never lasted more than three hours max. And I hadn't had many of those either.

"I had a really nice time tonight. Thank you."

This was an awkward moment. I would look like the total loser extending my hand out to him for what, a good night shake? Kissing him was out of the question. Besides the fact that I was entirely too afraid of physical contact with Edward, it would be extremely forward.

God, he was so tall. Even taller since I had taken my shoes off, I had to crane my neck so I could look into his eyes rather than his chin.

"Bella, I enjoyed dinner as well. And what can I say; dessert was probably the best part of the night. Kidding…I had a great time."

I handed him the remainder of the coffee cake that I had wrapped up for him. He had a good laugh over it, and in a good way. He said it was the first time he had taken a girl out to dinner and was leaving her place with left overs. I couldn't help but feel that burning sensation as my face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Edward started to turn away and open the door when he quickly turned back and swooped down to give me the gentlest kiss on my cheek. If the door wasn't opened and I wasn't leaning against it, I just might have fainted. His lips were warm and in that kiss he left in its wake the strangest tingle. My nerve endings were on high alert.

"Good night Isabella. Sleep well."

With that he headed out the door walking to his vehicle. I stood there watching him get into his car and pull out of my drive way. My heart was still pounding and I could still feel his lips on my cheek.

How was I going to get to sleep after this?

_**~~SyP~~**_

I kept tossing and turning in bed. I was so fidgety that the cats finally took off and sought out better sleeping accommodations. Riding the high I was still feeling after having been with Edward, I kept obsessing over his comment about seeing me again. How did I feel about that? If I was honest with myself the answer was yes. Ah…_honesty_.

_Bella, you weren't exactly honest tonight were you? _

This was a pattern that was becoming much too familiar and much too easy to fall into. It wasn't just the lie about relationships. It was purposely and carefully revealing only some of my past. I justified that it was my business; something I didn't feel was relevant to share. Nor did it have any bearing on whatever Edward and I were embarking on. _Another lie. _ All of this could be for nothing. For all I knew, Edward was just being polite. Perhaps he didn't have any intention of wanting to see me again. If so, no harm no foul.

If I had been a little buzzed I would put the blame on the alcohol for that ridiculous statement I made. But I wasn't. I was clean and sober. The more time I spent with Edward the more I was convinced that he was dangerous, a danger to my body, heart and soul. And my mind, I think that was where he was most lethal. He had me pondering that maybe I could do this. _Could I?_ This false sense of self confidence was going to disappear like a mirage. I knew myself all too well. A different Bella wanted to take that leap. To be something more than I was. He made me crave things, need things, want things. Things I knew I couldn't have. In a perfect world, if I was unbroken, I could have them.

_**~~SyP~~**_

_His hands were warm as they ghosted over the contours of my body. I sighed when his fingers lightly brushed over my nipples that became hard as diamonds and when he replaced those fingers with his mouth I nearly came right then and there. "You're so beautiful" he whispered in between heated kisses. I moaned loudly as I felt his hands and fingers travel south to where I needed him the most. The moment his finger invaded that special place I arched my back in ecstasy. I'd never felt such pleasure and my body responded. I was slick and wet. Making it so easy for him to continue his assault, I couldn't keep still as I opened my legs even further apart. His mouth was there, then the feel of his tongue lapping and sucking while adding a second finger bringing me closer to my reward._

"_Edward…" I sighed and felt the beginnings of my orgasm. I was so wet I could hear the sound of not only his tongue but his fingers as they continued to drive me over the edge. I screamed as I shattered into a millions pieces. I saw stars break up and fall all around me._

"_Was that good baby?" Edward's eyes captured mine as he grinned. _

_Those eyes that were green suddenly changed to a murky gray. The sweet breath that only a moment before had enveloped me turned sour, encrusted in nicotine._

"_That's right Kitten. Just like that, show Uncle Alec how much you love him."_

_My small hand was gripped around him as he forced me to move it up and down. His breathing was becoming more erratic and his moans even louder._

"_Kitten, you love Uncle Alec don't you sweet girl?"_

_The tears in my eyes were threatening to spill but I pushed them back. No tears, no crying, steady breathing._

"_Yes, but Uncle Alec, please. I don't think this is right."_

"_Shush, now. You know I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that don't you Kitten?"_

_I wanted to push him away, to take my hand away from his…but he was too strong. His other hand was down below pushing his fingers inside me. It hurt, didn't he say he would never hurt me?_

"_You are hurting me, please Uncle Alec, please don't!" _

"_It's okay sweet girl, you make Uncle Alec feel so good, such a good girl." His voice was strained; his breathing became even more labored and then he shouted as I felt something warm and sticky spurt onto my belly._

I shot out of bed, disoriented and completely soaked through. I was panting as if I had just run a marathon. And then I remembered. Not again. It had been months since my last episode. This time the dream was even more vivid, more intense. In the past the images were indistinct but still defined enough for me to recognize what and who. I had not had such a graphic episode since the initial breakdown years ago.

I climbed out of bed and headed straight for the shower. I needed to cleanse my body and soul to find some respite even if I knew it was temporary. I would never feel clean enough but still I couldn't get the water hot enough as I scrubbed my body roughly. I knew I had broken skin as I saw my blood wash away down the drain. I didn't care. I would do anything to wash away the filth and the guilt. Anything. What had been the trigger this time? I was now wishing that I still was taking the medication that I had been prescribed when I had my breakdown back in college.

I had closed my eyes and the last thing I remember was seeing Edward's beautiful face. That had to have been the trigger for the dream. I had never felt so secure and loved. His hands on me felt familiar, as if I had been made for him and him alone. Lust and love burned in his eyes as he made love to me with his mouth, hands and fingers. I basked in the aura of his passion. Then it turned dirty, ugly and shameful in a blink of an eye. God, I felt disgusted and could feel the bile rise in my throat. I had done such a good job repressing these memories. But not enough it seemed. I towel dried myself off and felt the sting of the areas I had scrubbed too hard. I wanted to feel that sting. Retribution for my sins, yes sins. After all I must have done something that made him do these things to me. The logical side of me scolded me for these thoughts. I was just a young girl, just a child. Of course it wasn't my fault, but there was a small part of me that believed I was the catalyst.

_**~~SyP~~**_

I was in the office early since I was awakened by the dream. Unable to get back to sleep or more to the point I was afraid to close my eyes again, I just stayed awake. I ended up watching a little bit of television before I started my morning routine. I was showered, dressed and ready to go when I realized I left my iPhone on my dresser. I grabbed it turning it on when I realized I had a text message. I nearly dropped the phone when I read the display.

_Message from Edward Cullen_

_What? _

I opened up the text while my heart began to beat rapidly.

_**Hope you slept well. Had one of the best nights in a long time. Thank you. Call you later? – Edward**_

I had to look at the text several times to make sure I had read that right. I was shocked and surprised by a few things.

_He sent me text!_

_He admitted it was one of the best nights he had?!_

_He wants to call me later._

My hands were shaking, I needed to just relax. This was a text message. The man didn't ask you to marry him and have his babies. _ Don't even go there. _He was just being polite. After all he had been the perfect gentleman last night. Not that I expected any less of him. He wanted to call me later. Maybe he did feel the pull that I felt. I wasn't experienced by any means, but even I could feel that there was an attraction between us. We did have a great evening even if I had a few moments where I thought I was bordering on bitch mode. So what was I going to do? _You're going to respond that's that what you're going to do._ You're a big girl, you can handle texting even if it is Edward Cullen.

I realize the text was sent at 1:30 AM. God, that meant he had texted me shortly after leaving my house. I wasn't sure what that meant. I didn't necessarily change my opinion that he was well mannered. Well what I had seen of him so far. I couldn't deny that I was secretly excited that he had sent the text almost immediately leaving me. Did that bode well? What was I getting myself in to? In what world could I ever keep up with Edward? And further how could I even think of holding on to him? I was beginning to think I had dug myself a hole. _Or maybe you're just getting way ahead of yourself._

I decided at the very least I would reply to his text. It was the right thing to do, and more importantly I just wanted to hear from him again.

_**Yes, I slept well enough. Enjoyed last night too. Sure, call me. – Bella**_

Slept well enough? Yeah for two hours I did. So I guess I wasn't lying. I knew I looked tired; I even wore a little extra make up to hide the dark circles. I only hoped Edward didn't have any notions of wanting to see me later. As much as I was afraid to sleep again I knew that I would crash and sleep hard tonight. It had been such a long time since my last nightmare, but normally my mind and body was so drained all I could do is sleep. If this pattern was going to begin again, I was going to be pushed in corner and seek professional help. If anything just to get me back on something to keep my demons at bay. Yes, I fully recognized it was a temporary fix. One step at time right?

_**~~Syp~~**_

Putting out fires, that was my morning. One problem after another, with the little sleep that I had I was amazed I could actually think coherently. After resolving the last problem that Tyler had with a customer, I got up and headed to the break room to get another cup of coffee. I was back at my desk when my phone rang. I looked at the display. It was Sarah. Crap, now what? If she was going to tell me she had another irate customer on the phone, I was packing it up for the day.

"Hey Sarah."

"Bella, I have a delivery for you out front." I could tell she was smiling.

"A delivery? For me?" I made it sound as if I never had anything arrive at the office. It wasn't anywhere near Christmas, so it couldn't be a gift from a customer. And my birthday had passed. _Instead of trying to figure out who it was from move your butt to the reception area._

As I entered lobby, sitting on top of Sarah's desk was one of the largest bouquet of wildflowers I had ever seen. Immediately I thought of Edward. Just as quickly I dismissed it. He wouldn't send me flowers? Would he?

Sarah's face was beaming. I could only imagine what she was thinking. She never pried into my personal life. Secretly I knew she was holding out hope that I would find a nice guy to share my life with.

"Bella, are these not simply breathtaking?" She got up from her desk to inhale deeply the sweet scent.

I was speechless for a moment. They were spectacular, even more stunning than the bouquet from last night. They screamed Edward. I could feel it in the core of my being. That he thought enough of me to send me such an arrangement left me feeling giddy. I was going to be so disappointed if it turned out that the flowers were from someone else.

_End the suspense Bella and take a look at the card._

From the outside of the card I could see that the flowers came from The Timeless Cottage. I adored the shop. We used them several times for company events. I felt on display with Sarah staring at me as I took the card. Maybe I should just bring them back to my desk. After a moment's hesitation that's what I decided. Sarah did look at little disappointed but I just felt the need to be in my own space where I was sheltered from roving eyes. I rounded the corner to head back in to Customer Service and damn if I didn't nearly slam into Jessica.

_Oh crap!_

"Whoa! Now this would have been an ugly scene."

I just wanted to tell Jessica to go to hell or more to the point fuck off. Instead I held my head up and apologized for not looking where I was going.

"Who are the flowers for?" What a condescending bitch. I knew what was going through her head. I was sure she hoped they were for her. And if they were why would I be bringing them to her. Did the guys she bang make a habit of sending her flowers? If so she could have opened her own damn flower shop! Of course she would never think they were for me. To make matters worse she would most likely have a meltdown if she found out Edward had sent them.

"They're for me." I said with a smile and walked right past her heading for the sanctuary of my office.

The way the cubicles were set up, we had walls separating each cube to give us a mode of privacy. Mine specifically was located at the far left corner of the department abutting the windows. I loved it because it was almost like an actual office without being a real office. I had much more privacy than the rest of the group. I put the flowers down on the left side of my desk, away from prying eyes. I still couldn't get over the size of the bouquet. I finally pulled the card out and read the note.

_**You were the last thing on my mind when I closed my eyes, and the first thing when I opened them. **_

_**Looking forward to seeing you again soon.**_

_**Edward **_

I was speechless. I must have read the note five times so that it sunk in that it was real. I mean it was real. I just was in shock. This beautiful man was certainly giving me the feeling of what it was like to be swept off your feet. I was still in my trance when my cell phone rang.

_Edward_

Did he have some kind of radar? How did he know the flowers were already delivered? _Duh, he could call the florist you idiot!_

"Hello." I barely got it out with my voice cracking.

"Good Morning Bella."

His voice was like a soft melody that rippled through me with such a force I had to sit down.

"Edward, good morning. I…um..I just received your flowers. They're beautiful but totally unnecessary."

_Way to go Bella, make the guy feel awkward about sending you flowers. _

How long was it going to take Edward to figure out I was a total "virgin" in every sense of the word. Count to three and breathe.

"I know it wasn't necessary Bella, but I wanted to. I hope I'm not making you feel uncomfortable."

I immediately felt awful for putting him on the defense.

"No, Edward. I'm sorry, I was just surprised that's all. I have never seen such a gorgeous display of flowers before. They are taking up a good amount of space on my desk. But I love them. Really I do."

I wasn't lying. I did love the flowers. I loved that he had sent them to me. I loved the note. I loved…_Stop!_

"And your note, I don't know what to say."

"I wish I had been there to see your face. I am imagining your beautiful cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink?"

I laughed. "I think that is a pretty safe bet."

It was his turn to laugh. And it made my heart flutter and skip a beat.

"I was wondering if you were free for lunch today."

Lunch, he wanted to take me out to lunch. My palms were sweating and at this moment I was thanking God he wasn't here to see my body tremble. How was it possible that even talking to him on the phone I was so affected by the electrical charge he seemed to radiate?

"Bella…are you still there?" Edward was waiting for me to reply as I was stuck in Edward Zone!

"Yes, I'm sorry I'm here. I don't think I can have lunch with you today. I'm swamped and will not have time to take a full hour."

I wasn't necessarily lying to him to this time. I was swamped. This morning's chaos did back me up with so much paperwork that I had planned to work through lunch.

"Sorry to hear that, I totally understand. How about dinner again? Or would like to do something else?"

I could tell he was disappointed. As much as I was telling the truth about being backed up with work, I also didn't think it was a good idea to be seen with him here. I wasn't doing anything wrong. There wasn't anything stipulated that I was aware of in the contract with E & E that indicated dating between both parties was not allowed. I just didn't want to office gossip floating around. If this, whatever it was between Edward and I continued, they would know soon enough. Although my personal life was just that, mine. I didn't owe anyone anything. They had me for forty hours a week and then some. What I did on my own time was no concern of theirs. Already I could see Jessica seething when she learned that Edward and I were dating. _Dating. _Is that what we were doing? _Yes, Bella that's exactly what you're doing._

"I'll be busy this week with several dealer events going on. I don't think I'll have any time before Friday night."

"Friday would be great. Would you be interested in dinner and movie?"

Dinner and a movie, that's definitely a date. And it's a second date. Oh God. My stomach felt nauseous. It was nerves of course. My body was screaming how much it wanted to be close to Edward again. I had visions of sitting in a dark theater, feeling his hand slowly reach towards mine and clasp it tightly. These were thoughts that were definitely out of character for me. But this was him, he did this to me. I only hoped that I had half the effect on him. I mean he must be attracted to me. Find me somewhat interesting. Didn't he tell me that I intrigued him?

"Bella, are you still there?" His questioning tone brought me back to reality.

"Yes, I'm sorry Edward. Friday night, dinner and movie, I think I would like that."

"Great, listen I have to run but I'll call you and we can firm up everything. Oh and Bella…I'm glad you liked the flowers."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

With that I had secured a second date with Edward. As much as I wanted to call Angela, who by the way hadn't heard about my date with Edward last night, I did need to get back to work. I promised myself I would call her later tonight. I could hear squealing already and having me pick out formal china patterns.

_**~~SyP~~**_

I hadn't been to visit in over a month. I wasn't like me at all. I came at least once a week. Normally on the weekends but I felt compelled to come today. I needed to sit here and think and talk to them. To some it might sound odd but I found great comfort in my one sided conversations.

My parent's grave was situated up on a small hill, partly shaded by several trees. I kept the grave neat and adorned with flowers. Even in the winter months. Spring and summer I planted several types of flowers that were vibrant in color. The assortment varied from each year.

The headstone was simple but in good taste. Aunt Jane had picked it out, not that I really remember. It was rectangular and made of granite in bold lettering the name _Swan _stood out. In the back of the stone displayed my father and mother's names Charles and Renee along with the year of their birth and death. I traced their names lovingly, as if my fingertips were actually caressing them physically. It didn't matter what I actually felt was hard stone and it was cold. If I closed my eyes I could see them even if the images of them were a bit hazy. My memories of them had faded with time as well for the fact I was just too young when I lost them.

"Hi Mom, hi Daddy, I'm sorry I've not been by in a while. I don't have any excuse, other than work has been crazy. But I promise I won't let it happen again."

I wished with all my heart that my parents were still here. At this very moment I wanted my mother. Being an only child I didn't have anyone else to lean on. I had no family left. Aunt Jane was all I had and then she…

They were gone but I could still talk to them about anything and everything. I believed they could hear me. And it gave me some comfort to come here and just let whatever was going on in my life out. Sometimes the silence here helped to sort things out.

"I met a guy. He seems really nice. I don't know if this is going anywhere but he's the first one to make me feel like I deserve to share my life with someone."

I sat down in front of the headstone and watered the flowers thoroughly.

"Mom, I wish you were here so I could talk to you about this. I'm confused over my feelings. Daddy, if this is uncomfortable for you, you don't have to listen." I laugh to myself. I suppose anyone walking by right now would think I was off my rocker.

"His name is Edward Cullen. He's very handsome, actually I call him beautiful. Mom, I think you would agree. He took me out to dinner the other night."

I pause as if my mother is getting ready to reply. What would she say to me? I think she probably would be excited. My Dad, I'm not sure. Probably put Edward through the ringer, you know me being his little girl and all.

"He brought flowers and took me to a restaurant that was so unique. He even showed up at the house with flowers! Shackelton took to him immediately. You know what they say about animals and how they are a good judge of character. I hope he's right. At least I feel as if Edward is a nice guy. I'm just so confused over these feelings. Mom, he makes me feel things I have never felt before. He makes me nervous but also makes me feel safe. Edward is the first guy who has ever made me want to pursue a real relationship with a man. I just don't know if I have the courage."

A sense o0f warmth and calm overwhelmed me. Perhaps it was my mother's arms that were enveloping me. Or maybe it was my dad. I would like to think that it was both of them. Am I crazy? _ Don't answer that. _I lingered for a few more moments taking in the sights and sounds of the birds and gentle breeze that washed over me.

_**~~SyP~~**_

"Just when were you going to tell me you had a date with Edward?" Angela said through the phone, in a tone that said she's annoyed with me.

I would be too if my best friend had a date and _she _neglected to give _me _the details.

"Ang, I'm sorry. I was so caught up in everything, forgive me?" I pleaded hoping she would. I didn't intentionally shut her out and she knew that.

"Okay Bella. But I want to hear every detail. Don't leave anything out. I can't believe this! Edward Cullen asked you out!"

"Angela, thanks. It was only one date and nothing really exciting happened. We went out to dinner then he came back to my house for coffee and cake."

"Hold it right there Swan. You invited him back to your house? This is Bella Swan right, Isabella Swan that I'm talking to." Oh she was having a load of fun at my expense.

"Funny, Angela. But yes I did. I don't know what made me do it, other than I had such a nice time with him. We really seemed to hit off. I have to admit at first I was very nervous and might have come off as being a little bitchy." I was still nervous when I thought about Edward. But I wanted to see him again. As much as I had said over and over to Angela that I didn't care if I didn't date again, that was a big fat lie. Edward was the driving force in attempting to overcome my fear of intimacy.

I spoke with Angela for a few minutes more, even telling her that Edward and I had a second date on Friday night. She practically blew my eardrum by the screaming she was doing on the other end of the phone. After listening to her for another few minutes which included reminding me of our shopping trip to Port Angeles on Saturday, I finally had to tell her I needed to go. She was envisioning all types of scenarios. I finally had to tell her to stop putting the cart before the horse. I think she was more excited about Edward than me…well not exactly.

_**~~Syp~~**_

Friday arrived in a blink of an eye. I was still undecided what I was going to where tonight. Edward wanted to grab a quick bite to eat before heading to the theater. Jeans and a pretty top was what I was going for. Angela must have called me three times to ask me if I wanted her to come over to help get ready. I didn't need her when I went out with Edward on Monday. And I was more than able to dress myself. I may have not dated much, but that didn't' mean I was completely hopeless.

I made sure I was out of the office a half hour earlier than normal. Edward was going to be picking me up at six o'clock. We were having dinner at a place called "Mickey's" in Port Angeles. The nearest cinema was there. I had never been to Mickey's but Edward said it was very casual. It was the type of place to watch the ball game and have comfort food. It was also just a block away from the cinema. Edward had asked me to choose what film we were going to see. I was a little nervous. Romantic comedies and typical chick flicks were my kind of movie. I seriously doubted that would be something Edward would be interested in. I had spent a good part of my lunch hour internally debating with myself over what we should see. I wasn't opposed to action films so I finally decided on The Bourne Legacy. I thought it was a safe bet.

All primped and ready to go I sat in the living room waiting for Edward. I wondered if he would come to the door or just honk his horn. _Really Bella? _ Edward didn't strike me as that type of guy. Why did I even have that thought? My mind was spinning out of control. Would Edward hold my hand in the theater? Would he actually kiss me tonight? And what would I do if he did either or both?

_Ding Dong_

Edward was here. And I was a nervous wreck _again._

**A/N: So here we are. This is the last written chapter and edited. I do have chapter 14 in the works, and hope that I will be able to post it next week. In lieu of this I will change posting on Wednesdays to Fridays. I hope you will be patient if I am a few days late but I promise I will update as quickly as possible. Thanks for all of you who have been following on. I let you in a little on Bella's past, any thoughts?**

**Jlyn and DennaRose, no words can express my deepest gratitude for your hard work in editing. Love you both.**


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or characters, no income being made, only fulfilling a creative whim.**

**Edward's POV**

Mickey's was crowded as I knew it would be. What had I expected? It was Friday night and it was a mixed crowd. Although there was a large number of college kids packing the bar.

I showed up at Bella's right at six with a bouquet of Gerber daisies. Yes, I stopped by The Enchanted Cottage _again_. Stefan, yup you guessed it, he and I were now on a first name basis, he also was the owner of the shop. This time I did follow his advice and opted for the daisies. They were bright and reminded me of sunshine which in turn reminded me of Bella. Fuck me, I was whipped. Is that possible after one date? One thing was for sure, Bella made me feel things I'd never felt before. I had never had as many sleepless nights as I had since she came into my life. What did that say?

_You're fucked._

Bella loved the daisies so much that she was brave enough to kiss me on the cheek. It took every ounce of control to not pull her in closer and just fucking kiss the shit out of her. A sweet kiss on the cheek had my dick throbbing. This was not a good sign. Don't get me wrong I was happy she did, but if a chaste kiss as that had me raging what the fuck was going to happen once we shared a real kiss. I managed to calm the beast in my pants before I totally embarrassed myself and horrified Bella.

She looked fucking hot tonight. But then again I thought she did every time I saw her. Slim fitting jeans and a pale pink V-neck sweater that hugged her body and accentuated her firm tits had me begging to sneak a peek underneath. And on her feet she had a pair of black wedges that gave her a little bit more height. I still towered over her which was such a turn on. I didn't miss the way she had given me the once over when I picked up at her house. In fact, that beautiful face of hers flushed again. Fuck I loved that. I had chosen a pair of faded blue button fly jeans, a black polo and a pair of black Diesel sneakers. Her reaction confirmed that I had made the right decision. Normally I didn't give a shit what I wore. Let me back up. It's not that I dressed like a bum; I just never really put much thought into it, until Bella. Already I could hear Emmett busting my balls over being pussy whipped. How many times had I busted on his? Too many and payback was coming, my brother was going to be all over this shit. For some reason it didn't really bother me.

_Yup, fucked._

"Bella, I'll be right back. I'm going to check to see how much longer before our table is ready." She nodded while she sipped her Jack and Coke. It still surprised me that was her drink of choice. I guess I expected her to be more into wine or maybe Cosmopolitan's or the variety of "Tini" drinks that was the rage.

Mickey's was still old school. I knew Mickey and he was cheap bastard therefore they didn't hand out pagers to let you know when your table was ready.

I walked up to the hostess and asked when she thought we'd have a table. She told me it would be no more than ten minutes; they were getting the table cleared as we spoke. I was relieved; I had hoped to get to the 9:15 showing. If that didn't work there was one more showing of the film at 10:30. I wasn't entirely sure if Bella would be interested in going, but at least I had a plan in the event we couldn't make the earlier show.

Walking back over to Bella she looked a bit timid sitting at the bar alone surrounded by a throng of people. She caught my eye as I made my way across the room and she flashed me a tremulous smile that barely reached her eyes. Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes which tagged me like a laser. I wondered why she seemed a little fearful. Had someone tried to hit on her while I was gone, which by the way wasn't more than a couple of minutes.

"Bella, are you okay?" I sat down next to her and grabbed my beer I had left on the bar.

"Yes."

Fuck. Her tone was flat, void of any emotion.

"Did someone bother you while I was gone?"

She clearly was upset by something. I scanned around the room hoping I could determine what may have caused her to be distressed. I didn't notice anything.

"Are you sure? You seem upset."

Her eyes locked with mine as she fingered her hair from her face.

"Everything is fine Edward, really."

I didn't want to push her, if she said she was fine then I was going to take her word for it.

"Cullen, party of two your table is ready!"

Finally!

I grabbed Bella's hand and ushered her through the bar to the hostess station to be seated. Her hand felt a little clammy, clearly something happened. Gently tugging her along, the hostess led us to our table. The dining room was nearly as packed as the bar. I pulled Bella's chair out for her, as she sat down I allowed my fingers to graze her cheek. Was that taking liberties? How the fuck did I know? I was doing what was coming naturally to me; which was all new to me. Now does that make sense?

"So what do you think of this place?"

I wanted Bella to feel comfortable again. Perhaps starting a conversation before our server came would relax her.

"It's nice."

Fuck, not good. What the hell happened? I didn't want to scare her but Christ I wanted to shake her just to get some kind of reaction out of her.

"Is it not what you expected?"

She fidgeted in her seat before she answered while she worried her lower lip. I had not known her for very long, but when she did that she was definitely nervous.

"Not at all, it's certainly different from Rain."

That was an understatement.

"Uh, yeah you definitely could say that."

The server approached our table and took our drink orders. Since I was driving I was done with alcohol so I ordered a club soda with lime. Bella had another Jack and coke. I wondered if she was a light weight or if she could hold her liquor. I guess I would find out.

Bella was enjoying her cocktail when I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

"Edward…"

Fuck. My. Life.

_Tanya_

It couldn't be. Oh yes it could asshole. I had met Tanya here and the rest was history. We ended up here most nights when I hooked up with her. What the fuck was I thinking coming here? Certainly not believing I could run into her again. I had a hunch that it was Tanya that Bella had seen that had changed her attitude. _Jesus Christ!_

I turned my head and there she was, standing, staring not at me, but at Bella. _Fuck this sucks!_

Pushing my chair back I got up, no way was I going to be seated while she stood over me. I also felt the strong need to protect Bella from Tanya's claws. There was no doubt she was in bitch mode. I could see it in her eyes.

"Tanya, hey…what a surprise."

_Stupid_

Tanya laughed which was forced and more like a cackle than real laughter.

"Oh come on Edward. Seriously how could you be surprised? After all how many times did we come here before we went back to my place for the evening?"

_Bitch!_

I didn't want to turn around but I could only imagine that Bella wanted to crawl under the table. Tanya was doing this on purpose. Right now I had wished she had thrown something at me the night I broke it off. Perhaps Tanya would have relieved herself of any aggression towards me. Anything was better than Bella having to suffer her condescending tone. I had a feeling she was only beginning with this shit storm.

"Well Edward? Are you not going to introduce me to the new flavor of the week?"

She took the knife and not only stabbed me in the back but she turned it. _Fucking cunt! _ Well I'll be damned if she was going to affect me. If I let her get to me then she would definitely get to Bella, even worse than she already had.

"Bella, this is Tanya."

Bella's face was white. Shit, I hated that she was put in this position.

_Well dickhead this is all on you!_

I heard the scrape of Bella's chair as she pushed it away from the table to rise and stand up. My girl had guts. _My girl?_ She walked over to Tanya and extended her hand towards her. Tanya looked at her like she had three heads. God I loved it!

"It's nice to meet you Tanya."

Tanya took Bella's hand tentatively while she sized Bella up. Just what was she thinking? What did Bella have that she didn't? Christ the list was fucking long. Tanya's facial expression said it all. You didn't need someone to paint you a picture. She was fucking green with jealousy. And it wasn't a good look on her. If I wasn't so fucking pissed at her I would be laughing right now. Tanya Denali actually looked insecure.

But just as that thought entered my head, it was gone as Tanya opened her mouth again.

"Well, so this is the piece of ass you dumped me for." Her tone was dripping in sarcasm, like venom.

I heard Bella's soft gasp at Tanya's words. I cringed. What a great impression I was making. Second fucking date with a girl I really care for. And fuck me this happens.

"Tanya, I think you probably had a little too much to drink. Why don't you go find whomever it is you came here with and head home."

We were becoming a spectator sport. People at the tables in the vicinity were being treated to a dinner show.

"Oh please Edward. As if you ever cared how drunk I was before as long as you could fuck me."

Now that did it. I gently grabbed Tanya by the elbow, after asking Bella if she would give me a moment, and ushered her out of the dining room.

As soon as we were out in the reception area I let her have it.

"What the fuck Tanya!"

I didn't give a shit that I was right up into her face. I didn't give a shit who heard us. What I did give a shit about was the fact she made Bella feel cheap and tawdry. It was bad enough that Bella had already spotted her. She knew that Tanya and I had a history, if you want to even call it that. But for her to start spewing the crap that was coming of her mouth just pushed me over the edge.

"What's wrong Edward? Your precious fresh meat can't handle the truth about you?"

"Fuck you Tanya! So you're still pissed I broke it off. Well get over yourself. Like I told you that night, I never led you on. I never promised you anything than what it was between us. You had your fun, if you expected anything more that was something you totally made up in your head."

You could say my voice was elevated. The hostess had to come over and ask me to either lower my voice or take this discussion outside. Well frankly I had enough of Tanya's bullshit. I said what I wanted and was done. Tanya could just go piss up a rope as far as I was concerned. I gave her one more glare and walked back to the dining room hoping Bella was still at our table.

Bella looked so alone and out of place as I caught sight of her. She was chewing on her lip again, and her index finger was picking away at her thumb. Yeah, she was far from being okay over the Tanya incident.

Sitting down, I pulled my chair a little closer to Bella. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize she was here. Answer me honestly. Your attitude changed when I came back from checking on our table. Was it because you had seen Tanya?"

Bella was quiet, too quiet. Was she formulating her thoughts or was she going to give me the silent treatment. God, this night was not at all how I had planned it.

"Yes, I did see her in the bar."

"I'm sorry, if she made you feel uncomfortable. I should have known better."

It was the truth. I should have. But I was so blinded by Bella and these new feelings coursing through me I didn't even give it a thought. It's not like I was spending time thinking about Tanya. I hadn't really thought of her at all. Was I going to have to look over my shoulder every time I took Bella out? I winced at the thought of bumping into any more of my past dalliances. Was it too early in our relationship to discuss my _"carefree"_ lifestyle? And how would I bring that up? _'Oh by the way Bella I've banged a lot of women so let me apologize in advance for my past.' _ Yeah, right.

"Edward, you know I'm really tired. If you don't mind I'd like to go home."

Did I just hear her right? _Fuck me. _God damn Tanya for her bitch attitude, while I'm at it damn myself because this was my fault just as much as hers.

"Bella, listen I'm sorry but let's not let this ruin tonight?"

"Well it's too late. I would like to leave before we run into any more of your _"girlfriends."_

What the fuck!

Did she just quote the word _girlfriends_? I know Bella was put on the spot. I didn't blame her for being pissed. Maybe I did deserve this. Is it any wonder why I really hadn't done the real dating thing? Well I wasn't about to beg her to stay. If she wanted to go home, fuck I would take her home. I wasn't exactly in the best of moods either. I had only one question I wanted to ask her. Did she want to see me again?

"Okay, Bella. If that's how you feel we'll go."

I threw a fifty on the table, we hadn't even had a chance to order dinner only drinks. So help me God if Tanya pulled another crap move I wasn't sure I could restrain myself from telling her exactly what I thought of her actions tonight.

**_~~SyP~~_**

The drive back to Forks was quiet. And it was awkward. In the corner of my eye I could see Bella fidgeting in her seat, twisting her hair around her finger and biting that lip. I may have not known the girl for very long but I could knew the telltale signs that she had been affected by the encounter at Mickey's. Needless to say tonight was a complete bust. The closer we got home the more apprehensive I was. Was this it? I was a little surprised by her actions tonight. But then everything about her was too new to me. But I did discover that kitty had claws. I had to wonder if we had not been in a public place, would Bella have told Tanya to fuck off. Not in those exact words but close enough. Nonetheless I was proud of her that she held her head high and in front of Tanya remaining poised.

Sick and tired of the silence that was deafening I turned on the stereo. Ryan Farish's Pacific Wind filled the confines of my vehicle. It was a beautiful piece, an electronica genre which I had recently become a fan of. It seemed to always relax me. My hope was that it would do the same for Bella. Giving her a cautionary glance I noticed she wasn't moving around so much, however she was still twisting her hair.

Did I open my mouth? Or just continue to drive and let the music be the only communication between us?

Just then my cell rang.

_Jesus!_

I quickly looked at the display, thank Christ it was Alice.

"Hey little sister."

I wanted to put Bella at ease immediately that it wasn't Tanya or any other woman that she could construe as a "girlfriend."

"Big brother! It's been a while. I got tired of waiting for you to get off your lazy ass and call me so here I am."

She had that lyrical tone, she reminded me of Tinker Bell. Yeah, Peter Pan's Tinker Bell. What? I loved that story as a kid. I remember telling Dad I was never going to grow up. I suppose if you spoke to Esme, that could be partially true.

"Yeah, here you are. What's up?" I didn't mean to come out sounding annoyed but I know I must have.

"Gee, Edward, so nice to talk to you too. What crawled up your ass and died? Are you having problems with the ladies again?"

_Alice!_

"You might say that."

"I did say that, would you say that?"

My sister was a real pisser when she wanted to be, which was nearly all the fucking time.

"Alice, right now is not a good time. Let me call you when I get home. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

"Okay. Don't forget to call me!"

Did I say that she was a demanding Tinker Bell?

I looked over at Bella who was still staring out the window; she never once looked my way during my short conversation with Alice.

That was it. The silence was just killing me.

"Bella, I apologize that was my sister."

_Duh idiot! _ She gathered that by announcing who it was.

"Edward, you don't owe me any apologizes or explanations."

She was still angry, upset, whatever the fuck she was feeling, it hadn't lessened.

"I might not about my sister calling, but I think I do owe you an explanation regarding Tanya's treatment of you this evening."

Silence again.

"Look, I know what happened at the restaurant was awkward and embarrassing. And…"

I didn't get to finish my thought when Bella interrupted me.

"Edward, please. There's no need. You have a past, I have a past. We all have pasts. I have no claim to you therefore you have no reason to want to _clear the air_."

One minute I could read her as a shy and vulnerable young woman. The next she came off as having confidence and could hold her ground in tough situations. That was Bella wasn't it? She had been dealt a shitty hand of cards losing her parents at such a young age. I was beginning to see that these traits balanced her out. The more I spent time with her. The more she spoke, the more I realized that I couldn't let her go. I wanted her, and not just because I was physically attracted to her. I was drawn to all of her. And I would be damned if I was going to let my past tread on my present and very possibly my _future_.

_Yes, I said future._

"Bella, I disagree. I think I do need to "clear the air" as you put it. I like you. I enjoy being with you. I want to continue seeing you, and I hope you feel the same way."

Finally she turned towards me. I was doing my best to keep my eyes on the road but damn if I didn't want to look into those beautiful eyes of hers.

"I…"

She began to speak then stopped. This could go either way. She was nervous about telling me she _didn't _want to see me again. Or she was nervous about telling me she _wanted_ to see me again. It was a crap shoot. I sucked at craps.

"I like you too Edward."

I wanted to pull over at this very moment and just kiss the fucking shit out of her. Instead I opted to keep my hands on the wheel, eyes forward and smiled like a kid who had just been given the keys to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

"Well Miss Swan, I'm glad to hear that. Now are you sure you want to go home?"

"Yes, I actually have a slight headache."

No doubt from dealing with that bitch.

"You need to eat something. Let's stop at the diner in town?"

"Really Edward I'm fine. I'm not hungry."

She was going to eat something, even if it was that tiny hole in the wall in the center of town. It really wasn't that bad. In fact I loved their cheeseburgers.

"We're stopping at the diner. I haven't eaten, and you sure as hell haven't. All you've had is a couple of Jack and cokes. Not exactly nutritional is it?"

"You're not going to take no for answer are you?"

"Nope" I made sure to pop the "p."

**_~~SyP~~_**

Well Bella may have conceded to grab something to eat at the diner, but my hopes of her having something nourishing to eat fell on deaf ears. She opted for a bagel with cream cheese. I wasn't impressed. But at least it was something in her stomach. I had a greasy cheeseburger that no doubt was going to exact its revenge later, but I didn't give a fuck. I loved them. The conversation was light and nothing too deep. Tonight wasn't the night to delve into my past. I made that sound so ominous. Bella was becoming more important to me with each moment I spent with her. I wanted honesty between us. She had shared with me so I wanted reciprocate. I was going to let her know she was my first real relationship in like forever. And I was going to tell her that I had spent the better part of my adult life in meaningless encounters until _her_. What? Yeah you heard me right. How the hell did this happen?

Esme was right after all.

**_~~SyP~~_**

"Edward, I'm sorry tonight turned out to be not exactly how you had planned."

We were outside Bella's door; she was tired I could see it in her eyes. Although we didn't see the movie as planned we did spend over two hours at the diner. We discussed everything under the sun except revisit what happened at Mickey's. There would be plenty of time to get into that bullshit. After we left Mickey's I just wanted to get Bella feeling comfortable being with me again. I think I was able to accomplish that feat.

"No, it wasn't at all how I had envisioned tonight going. I'm the one that's sorry. Now really isn't the time, but we need discuss tonight further. You're tired and to be honest so am I."

Those eyes were so expressive. I was jumping the gun but fuck I couldn't wait to see them in the midst of passion. I imagined how they would be blazing with need as I pushed inside her. Her pupils dilated to the point her eyes were more black than brown. _Cool down Cullen._ I was starting to feel my dick stir to life. Quite frankly, whenever I was near Bella the fucking thing had a mind of its own.

Her eyelashes were long; I loved how they fluttered against her cheeks when she blushed. I had the urge to kiss her. I never had to think about it in the past. But this was the present which was filled with Bella. And hopefully she was going to be a part of my future. Fuck I wanted her so badly. I had to taste her.

My eyes locked on that sweet pink mouth of hers, her intake of breath gave my stomach the strangest sensation, and it had nothing to do with indigestion. There was something else radiating from her as I stepped closer. _Fear. _She tensed up as I moved towards. Did she think I would hurt her? I suppose my tall frame moving in could be somewhat intimidating. She had nothing to fear from me. Well maybe the fact that I wanted to fucking consume her until I had my fill of her. Satisfy the hunger that had been gnawing my gut since I met this girl.

Gently I stroked the side of her face with the back of my knuckles. Her eyes captured mine with a tell of hesitation. What was she hiding behind those deep soulful eyes of brown? Had someone hurt her? Instantly my heart constricted over images of Bella torn to pieces over a broken heart. If anyone even considered hurting her, _my girl_… Slow down Cullen. She's not yours yet. No, but after tonight my intentions will be very clear, as soon as I have had a taste of her lips, as soon as my tongue lashes against hers. She will be mine. God help the fucker who tries to take her from me.

Jesus Christ, I have gone off the deep end. And guess what? I don't give a rat's ass. This girl, in the short amount of time since we've known each other, owns me. And I fucking love it.

Her lips were mere inches away; her sweet strawberry scent filled my senses. Leaning down I tentatively touched her lips with mine. So soft, so warm and my body wasn't prepared for the jolt of energy that surged through every fiber of my being. This was more than the electric charge that was ever present between us. It was like a merging of two souls. _Okay who the fuck is this joker?_ No joke, it was how I felt. This was just a simple kiss, not a searing open mouthed all-consuming kiss. And it rattled me. She felt it too. I was close enough that I could hear the beat of her heart. I lifted my lips from hers taking in her beauty. She was a vision with her face flushed, her lips slightly parted, her eyes glazed over by what I hoped was the reaction to my kiss. I tilted her chin up and kissed her sweetly on the forehead. I had never in my life kissed a woman on the forehead. Bella Swan made me do things I had never done before. She made me want things I never wanted before and fuck she made me feel things I had never felt before.

"Bella…." I whispered her name against her forehead. I heard her mumble something that sounded like maybe a yes. I loved the effect I had on her. I would have teased her but I didn't want to jeopardize the moment. Nor did I want her to feel intimidated. God knows she did get nervous quite easily.

I kissed her forehead once more before I released her.

"Bella, I want to see you again. I want to spend more time getting to know you. How do you feel about me?"

Even in the dark I could see the light flush of her skin as the moonlight shined down on her striking features. Everything about her was petite. Her nose, mouth, and fuck even her ears were Goddamn adorable.

Fuck me I sound like a pussy!

I held her eyes, not giving her the opportunity to look away. I wanted to see those eyes when she answered me. Her eyes gave so much away.

"Edward, I…" She paused as she looked down at her feet.

I gently grabbed her chin to raise her eyes back to mine. Now was not the time for her to get shy with me. Although we barely knew one another she and I had bonded. I wanted that bond to strengthen, see where the bond would take us.

"I do like you too. But…"

Fuck, there was that _word_ again.

"Bella, but what? You either like me or you don't? By the way you look this moment you seemed to like my kisses? Am I wrong?"

Don't scare her Cullen. This is a whole new ball game with her. She's not like anyone you have ever known. Don't fuck this up.

"Yes, I like you. And you know I liked your kisses. I just wonder what you see in me."

Her cheeks flamed even pinker as her eyes were downcast again.

"Look at me." This time I didn't raise her chin, I wanted her to look at me by her own volition.

Timidly her eyes caught mine and her breath caught in her throat.

"Bella, do you realize what an amazing person you are? To be quite honest I think I'm not good enough for you. But I'm not going to let that stop me from getting to know you. When I look at you I see someone who has had to endure so much pain and hardship at such a young age."

My arms locked around her waist as I inched her closer into my arms. She felt so right, perfect in every way.

"You have a passion for life; I see it in your eyes even if you do get nervous around me."

She was laying against me now, her head on my chest and I felt her giggle.

"Life has been cruel early on and yet you stand here, confident, living on your own. You've not allowed the shitty hand you were dealt with to define you. Do you realize how much I admire you?"

She pulled away but held onto my forearms.

"You admire me?"

Her face was riddled in skepticism. I was beginning to think that perhaps Bella had some self-esteem issues.

"Yes, I admire you. How could I not? Remember what I told you the night of our first date? I admire you for your strength in facing this world alone. But you don't have to be alone anymore. You have me now."

I meant every word. She had me now. I wanted her in my life and I wanted her to want me just as much. We had started something and my gut told me this was just the beginning of something extraordinary.

"I don't know what to say. I'm nothing special Edward. You could have any girl you want."

What was this shit? This girl had no clue how beautiful she was inside and out. By the time I was through with her she would know exactly how special she was.

Before she could say another word I made my intentions loud and clear.

My lips captured hers and I growled into her mouth as I urged it open, she allowed me in. Tongues danced and twirled, her arms reached around my neck and I brought her as close to my body as I could. I broke the kiss for a few seconds only to reposition myself, then feasted on her mouth again. She was addictive. In this moment, in front of her door with the moon shining down on us, something was becoming crystal clear. I was falling in love.

Fuck me….

**A/N: First let me apologize for the long delay in updating this fic. Real life has thrown me quite a few curve balls over the past month which resulted in the delay. Things are settling down so I will be back to writing. My hope is to update still weekly but at the very least every two weeks. I hope you will hang in there and stick with me as we continue the journey together.**

**Thank you Jlyn and DennaRose...xoxoxoxo**


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